When is the last time you stopped to gaze...at anything?  I mean really took a moment to soak in the awe and beauty of….something?  A softly falling snow. A wild daffodil smiling at the sun. A mountain mist.  A wistful waterfall.  A glowing red sky.  An ocean swell.  

Beauty all around us, but are you capturing it? Captivated by it? Or missing it?

 “See beauty and we know it in the marrow, even if we have no words for it:  Someone is behind it. Beauty Himself completes.”  AnnVoskamp

The catch?  We have to “see” it.  To know genuine undeniable beauty, to know it in our bones so that it moves us and mesmerizes us...draws us to worship Beauty Himself, we have to see it.  And there’s so much...so very much that gets in the way.  

What’s keeping you from “seeing” clearly?  What’s today’s death of distraction?  A crying toddler that you can’t seem to console?  A mountain of paperwork?  Finances out of control? Relationship on the rocks? Does looking ahead look daunting?  

Exhausted much?  Mentally drained much?  Disillusioned much?  

Stop and smell the coffee.  Stop and see the daffodils bobbing their bells in the breeze.  Catch a glimpse of that bright, beautiful cardinal flitting through the tree branches, flashes of red in the gray.  And remember, Jesus is there.  Beauty Himself is there.  You’re not alone.  

I can’t explain how it makes a difference but it does.  Maybe it’s because Beauty is so full of Love.  And Love compels and completes.  

The madness may not go away anytime soon.  The paperwork will be waiting.  The toddler will still be throwing a tantrum.  The finances will always need attention.  The relationship matters and requires work, lots of work.And the future couldn’t be more uncertain.  But Jesus wants you to know He’s there, waiting for your wistful eye to cast it’s gaze upon Him and be stirred.  Strengthened.  Encouraged.  Awed.  Lifted above all the noise to a moment of immeasurable peace. A moment with Him.  

“One thing I ask from the Lord, this only do I seek:

That I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, 

To gaze on the beauty of the Lord and to seek Him in His temple.”  

                                                                          Psalm 27:4

In a moment, the Maker can make your day with His unexplainable beauty.  

Don’t miss it.  

Shipwreck

I was reading in Acts 27 this morning of the Apostle Paul’s shipwreck experience. My breath halted when I realized I was saying to myself, “Yes, this ship is definitely sinking.”  The parallel…. of situations and struggles currently running rampant in my life right now... to a sinking ship in a storm, was too close. 

Your emotions can get so raw, your thoughts so scattered and tired, and it just feels like you’re going down.  

I won’t elaborate.  I don’t need to. The details don’t matter nearly as much as the Truth we both need in those times. And when it’s how I FEEL vs what I KNOW, His Truth is what I need to know.  His Truth will carry me through. It will carry you through too.  

God revealed to Paul that the ship was going to sink.  But He also told him that if everyone just stayed on board and did not try to abandon ship they would ALL survive. They all reached the island shore safely. Please take time to read this amazing account.   

The natural tendency and easiest thing to consider when life gets too much is to “abandon ship”; find a way to avoid the inevitable, escape the pain somehow.  Trusting God for the way of escape, which may mean seeing the ship go down so to speak, and just grabbing hold and hanging onto His promises, is not so appealing and doesn’t always make sense.  God told Paul in this instance it was exactly what everyone needed to do. But how do we do that exactly when life’s blows hit us hard and heavy? When decisions are weighty and we don’t know which way to turn?  

The promises of God are so very real, they are trustworthy and strong, timely and relevant.  We have to determine to hold onto them, believing that God’s way is what He will honor and is what we most need.  He could take our circumstances and certainly could intervene in so many ways. But there are so many lessons to be learned in it all.  Christ wants our full attention and obedience to His word and ways. There is always more of Christ to know and love, and our hearts and hurts need to heal.  

        “So take courage!  For I believe God. It will be just as He said.”  Acts 27:25

Do you grasp the power in those words?!  Paul was able to say, with a literal shipwreck looming, I BELIEVE GOD!  IT WILL BE JUST AS HE SAID. Those that could swim were told to jump and swim when the ship started to break apart.  Application? There may be something He equips you to DO that will make a difference. It will direct you, help you, heal you.  Do you pray? That’s certainly something we can all DO. Others that could not swim were told to find a fragment and hang on. They would float to safety. Application?  Resting in His Divine providence for us, staying in His Word, waiting for His healing work in us, will bring safety and assurance. He will carry us to the place we need to be.  

Sometimes it is pretty evident that a shipwreck is looming in a life that will change it forever --a sudden death, a terminal diagnosis, a struggling addicted child, a job loss or financial disaster, false accusations or work-place bullying, a declaration of divorce.  Do I blame God? Do I abandon God? Or do I believe God, that His good purposes in me can and will be accomplished (Philippians 1:6)?

No, we do not always escape suffering and loss. But help and healing for our hurting hearts is where God’s unfailing love is so evidenced. I have found myself at times, sitting in my front room in the quiet, with just the glow of soft light, letting Him love on me.  I can’t say anything. But I listen, and wait. Sometimes in tears, sometimes numb, His word begins to come into my thoughts, it rises up in my heart and memory, these promises and Truths I have read and cherished...and I let them wash over me.  

Let this fill you with peace and comfort and enabling grace today.  Jesus has you. We have His words to cling to. They are profound and powerful; life-saving, life-changing, soul-settling.  They are the way of escape from the torment of all the turbulence of life’s storms.  

Pray with me...Oh God, it’s time for You once again to stretch my faith, increase my confidence in Your word, strengthen my resolve to praise You in my storm, and keep me ever leaning into Your grace!  Jesus, if all is lost, You are enough. Your unfailing love is overwhelmingly enough. Your word is life and light. Your joy is unspeakable. Your presence with me is peace.   

The ship may be sinking, but there is a quiet calm shore just on the other side of this storm.  

And Jesus is already there.  

The Infamous "If"

I have begun my journey through the pages of Scripture once again this new year to read it in its entirety.  (If you have not, I would really encourage you to do so. My 14 year-old granddaughter read through the Bible last year and is starting again this year.  You can do it!) I have used a number of different approaches over the years, and the Lord has helped me finish my goal, and encouraged my heart with the growth accomplished even when I failed.  I also journal along the way (with a file cabinet full of notebooks to show for it!), trying to capture those moments when a truth freshly jumped off a page, or a concept became so clear, or I saw something from a new perspective.  I also wanted to cement Truth into my thinking, especially when it served to correct me in some wrong, or comfort me in some distress...and there have been lots of those times through the years. I especially remember how precious and intimate it was to have the Lord meet me exactly where I was emotionally and spiritually when I would be up in the middle of the night with one of the kids sick or unable to sleep. I would turn to my Bible, not randomly, but where I was last in my reading, only to have the Lord use that specific passage at that specific time to lift my heart heavenward, grateful that He knew about some specific concern or struggle I was having.  Its Truth would so amazingly be applicable to my situation. Have you ever had that happen? I hope so. It still awes me that God would and still does this.

Why does that awe me?  Well, in Genesis this morning reading of Jacob I found myself considering two sides of an “if”.  

“Then Jacob made a vow, saying, If God will be with me and will keep me in this way that I go, and will give me bread to eat and clothing to wear so that I come again to my father’s house in peace, then the Lord shall be my God.” (Genesis 28:20).  

I must admit my first thought on reading this was that Jacob was a foolish, faithless man. “If?”  Really Jacob? You really did not understand this great God of your ancestors. You knew of Him no doubt, but did you really know Him in all His greatness and holiness?  Did you not understand that God is faithful and can be completely trusted to carry out His will and perform His Word? Why would you question “if”, unless there was some doubt in your mind that He could not? It sounds at first like Jacob is bargaining with God, much like we might attempt to do...."God, if You do this, then I'll do this."

This passage of Scripture details an encounter with God after Jacob has fled his home in fear of his life...at the hand of his own brother!  And it began with Jacob deceiving his father and stealing the birthright and blessing that rightly belonged to the oldest, Esau. Many of you may be familiar with this story and remember Rebekah, Jacob’s mother, putting him up to this scheme.  That’s a thought for another time. For now, my focus is Jacob, and he agreed to go through with it. After all, he had already taken advantage of a famished (and careless) Esau at an earlier time, gaining the birthright for a pot of beans.

Jacob, the deceiver. Lies, deception, manipulation, and whatever his motives for obtaining the blessing and birthright of the family, he did not come by them honorably. It is probable, and likely that Rebekah had told him what the Lord had told her about her twins when they were born, that the older would serve the younger, and the struggle in her womb would become a lifetime of struggle between the brothers.  Perhaps it was completely unnecessary for Rebekah or Jacob to manipulate and manhandle situations to see God’s Word accomplished. If God had already determined that Jacob would be the son of blessing, then God would see to it that circumstances and situations worked to bring this to pass. In other words, God did not need their help to see to it that His divine plan was carried out. In fact, God’s plan was much bigger than either of them realized.  

Foolish and/or faithless as he may have been, God chose Jacob, directed him, provided for him, protected him.  And for the first time I considered that maybe Jacob did understand. Perhaps his great “if” moment was not about his understanding of God at all.  Maybe it was more about his understanding of himself. When Jacob laid his head down on that rock that night on the run, God revealed himself to him in a powerful and life-changing way, promising Jacob He would be with him and would keep him wherever he went.  Jacob was probably no more sure of God’s abiding presence with him at this point, as he was of God’s protection and provision for him. His future was uncertain, and after all, he had not shown himself to be an honorable man, one that necessarily revered God and His Word up to this point.  In all of his failures, weaknesses, lies, deceit, fear, why would God care for him or promise him anything? Why should He?

Was this “if’ moment for Jacob a question of God’s ability, as in “is God able?”, or was it rather, “will God really do this for me?  Me, after all I’ve done?” God was most definitely able, and willing. Jacob just needed to choose to believe and accept it, in spite of himself.  

This is such a beautiful picture of grace.  Jacob would indeed receive something from God that he did not deserve and certainly didn’t earn through his righteous behavior.  No, he came face to face with the Lord God, was provided a promise, and all he had to do was believe and act upon it. That, is faith.  Jacob chose at this moment, even though there would be other failures, to exercise faith and say, “If God would indeed do this for me, then He will be my God”.  This seems more a declaration of Jacob’s feeble faith than a bargain he is making with God.

We don’t bargain with God about anything.  He offers the great gift of salvation, inviting us each personally to come to grips with our own sinfulness and inability to be free from the weight and penalty of our sin, and gain forgiveness and an eternity with Jesus by trusting Him.  We exercise faith, believing what God has told us in the Bible about Himself and His Son, about the death of Christ on the cross and the fact that He rose from the dead. That simple choice changes everything. It provides an everlasting life with God throughout eternity to come, instead of eternal punishment and separation from God.  It provides the chance for an abundant life now, not just an empty existence with no real and lasting purpose.

No, we don’t bargain with God about anything.  He has promised so much, made so much available to us in choosing to live for Him...Great joy, peace, provision, protection, wisdom, guidance, comfort, encouragement, grace.  But we must trust His ways, His timing, His plans and purposes that are higher than ours, not attempt to finagle and finesse our way through life. God is the one over all, in charge, ruling and reigning, even when it does not seem like it.  He is good at being God; He has been doing it a very long time….eternity. Let Him be God!

What side of the “if” are you on?  Are you struggling to decide if God is truly who He says He is and is able to do what He says He will do?  Do you see Him as the all-powerful, saving God that He is, able to care for you and all your concerns? Or, are you wondering if this great God, seeing you and knowing you for who you are (and He does see and know), would actually want to have a real and personal relationship with you? And if He does, would He care enough about what you are going through to want to come alongside and be your help and guide, never leaving you or abandoning you to yourself or your situation?  

“If” moments.  Jacob had one in Genesis 28.  I had mine. I was on the side of complete wonder that God loved even me.  I had no reservations about my sin, failures, inadequacies, weaknesses. They stared me in the face...stare me in the face...everyday.  But Jesus lives in and through me. I am an overcomer because of Him. It may not seem as apparent to others all that Jesus has done for me, but I know God is great and good and FULL of grace and mercy to love the likes of me, and to care and be involved in the details of my life.  

Oh God, even though I sometimes question why you would love me, why you would die for me, I thank you that I never have to question your greatness or goodness, your willingness to reach to me where I am.  You are able and faithful and amazing.

God is bigger than your “ifs”.  

Getting a Grip

"I just need something tangible to hold on to."

The woman that spoke these words was raising three children by herself after losing her pastor/husband to cancer.  She was hurting, and searching for answers.  In trying to encourage her to hold onto her faith, the well-meaning Christian cliches she was getting from some weren't helping.  The reminder to "just hold onto your faith" wasn't enough.  What that really meant was now being questioned.  Thankfully, there were those that came alongside her in her pain, in her anger, in her confusion, and just "did stuff", living out the Truth she knew.  The tangible evidence of God's love expressed in human action became a guiding light as people did yard work, went to her children's ballgames, took a teenage daughter shopping, brought ice cream late at night and pigged out on the sofa with her.  It allowed her a chance to grieve, to breathe, to question without being judged, to find her faith path again, to be patiently guided back to God's Word and the truths that brought comfort, calmed fears, gave wisdom...answers, and peace, all the eternal blessings of being a child of God.    

"You have endowed him with eternal blessings, and given him the joy of your presence." Psalm 21:6

This is the epic essence of faith...to live experiencing eternal blessings, to know the joy of Christ's presence as an always present reality and how that impacts my daily life. Eternal blessings...not what we would label just good things, but things of eternal value.  These things are not tangible, but they are just as real.  Things like unexplained peace and joy in loss; wisdom that enables you to "just know", even against the odds; a calm assurance in what seems an impossible situation.  It's about living in the heavenlies, having an eternal perspective, seeing God at work in every circumstance, and rejecting mere happenstance.  From the mundane to the magnificent of this life it all reflects the Savior's hand and His heart for His creation.  We just have to strive to see it with His eyes, His patience, His hope, the Hope of eternity that brings meaning to this madness.  And sometimes it takes a tangible expression of His love for the eternal to be recognized.  

As eternity grips the heart, directing the focus back to the heavenlies, the earthly resolve is strengthened.  You can trust.  You can move forward.  You can wait.  You can let go of what you cannot control.  You can laugh.  He wants to give us eternal blessings that guide the heart and give hope and meaning to this life.  It is powerful and empowering to grasp the gravity of the eternal.  This life was never intended to be just an existence, but rather a purposeful passing of time and relationship, with God and others, full of meaningful (and fun!) experiences. 

"The earth is the Lord's and everything in it.  The world and all its people belong to Him.  Psalm 24:1

Not everyone understands, acknowledges, or accepts this great truth.  They don't know the Creator God in a personal way through the saving grace of Jesus.  Some know it but lose sight of it in the moment.  But He knows them.  He knows, and He loves.  He works through people, through situations and circumstances, through His creation, through His Word, to draw our focus back to those eternal blessings...what really matters and gives greater significance to the life we are living.  

Are you seeing something of eternal blessings in your daily routine? in the hearts of your children as they play?  in painful or challenging circumstances?  in relationships?  in your physical surroundings?Take a moment to seek God, asking for a glimpse of the eternal in this moment, this situation, this day.  

Get a grip on the eternal.  It will change your today.  

Keeping Hope Alive

“In everything [even the storms, italics mine] you are enriched by Him.”  I Corinthians 1:5

Are you weary tender heart?

Be glad of pain.

In sorrow sweetest virtues grow, as flowers in rain.

God watches, and you will have sun,

When clouds their perfect work have done.  

___Lucy Larcom, Streams in the Desert

Nearly a year ago now the clouds began to descend.  There had been a few squalls, but nothing like this.  The dark, destructive storm cloud spread over us and relentlessly rained down the unexpected and undesired.  For the past ten months or so now there has been one hardship, one difficulty, one blow after another.  It has tried its best to beat us down in its destructive wake.  But even the rumblings and thunderings have been a comfort; even the fierce winds are soothing; even the sharp lightnings have spoken peace to our hearts...because we are sheltered.  We are safe in the care of our God.  That assurance has not lessened the impact of the sudden and unexpected set of circumstances we found ourselves in, and not due to any choice of our own.  But then things often happen that are beyond our control, especially as it relates to the choices of others that directly affect us, and that sting is an especially nasty one.

I remember talking on occasion with my Dad (I call him Diddy) when something would happen...an engine would blow in a car, someone lost a job, someone has cancer and he would calmly say, “Sug (pronounced shug, short for sugar!), it’s just one of those things.”  He wasn’t being nonchalant or unfeeling.  He was just saying in few words that life happens.  There are some things that just come with living this life and we’re better off to embrace it for what it is and trust God through it rather than resist it or resent it or try to control it in someway.  

That dark cloud?  We lost over half our income in a very unexpected, cutthroat manner.  Just like that, ten years callously thrown in our face. But oh we have seen the hand of God at work in it all, protecting, providing, guiding, sustaining, directing.  Just like Joseph of old in the Scripture we can say, “You meant it for evil against me, but God meant it for good” (Genesis 50:20).  And there has been a lot of good, glimmers of His light in the dark cloud, reassuring us of His presence.  One of those is the fact that my mother-in-law is still with us.  Since December we have been to doctor’s, specialists visits, tests, hospital ER’s, only to have an ulcer finally perforate leaving her septic.  A four-week hospital stay, another four-week nursing home stay followed.  She’s 82.  I could not leave her alone in a hospital, traumatized over an hour away.  Roger came practically every day.  She is home now, but still having therapy 2-3 times a week.  Daily care for her and oversight of her medications, continued doctor’s visits is ongoing.  

We’ve also been able to see a family business come to fruition during this time.  My son has been praying for some time and sensed the time was right to take the plunge and take oversight of Top Knot Coffee and Artisan Shop.  It’s alpaca themed, an expansion of the farm (that some might think we would have lost by now, and we’re very aware of that very real possibility as the storm continues; but so far God has chosen otherwise and we are grateful and humbled).  But even in all the excitement and the demands of getting the shop up and going, Dan and Steph lost their 7th child.  Yet another completely unexpected heartbreak.  Asher Lee was birthed stillborn April 24th.  We have grieved and cried, and seen God give great grace and comfort to keep us moving forward even in the heartbreak.  

Ever tried to wait out a storm only to feel like it’s never going to end?  Well, not done yet!  On the farm there has been one equipment failure after another with limited to no funds for repairs, leaving my husband heavy with the weight of seeing our beautiful farm somewhat a mess.  But even in this, the raw beauty shines through.  Yes, there are parts that are not neatly landscaped.  The flower beds are a bit overgrown, but the animals are healthy, the pastures are green, and a garden is growing.  

Financially our resources have dwindled, especially with the start up of the Coffee shop...but it IS started, and with no debt.  Dan left a stable income to be the proprietor, and why not?  Three incomes down?  All the more opportunity for God to show Himself very real, and very involved in our lives.  If we fail, it won’t be because we didn’t try or because God is not faithful.  It will be because His plans for us involve something different that He has not chosen to show us...just yet!  One of the key thoughts for us in all of this that has helped us keep our eyes on Christ and off of ourselves (pity parties are such a waste!) is, that this is not about us.  It really isn’t.  We’re involved, yes.  We’re staying in His Word, praying, attempting to honor Christ in our situation and we know He will care for us.  This is about what He chooses for us at any given time, and believe me, I am constantly throwing myself at His feet and leaning hard on His promises, allowing His great grace to wash over me.  If not , the flesh takes over way too often and the emotions get all out of control….and God is limited.  

We’re not sure where it’s all going, where we will end up, how it will all turn out.  What we do know is that the storm will end.  We belong to Christ and we can trust Him.  That’s not a flippant acceptance of something I can’t change, or a “Christian cliche or platitude” (I hate those).  That is a reality that changes me and keeps me tender, and allows God to continue to work.  It releases the power of Christ to accomplish His plan and purpose in my storm.  And let me say this….this is “my storm”.  I do not get involved in the business of comparing storms.  Oh there are so many hurting people out there.  I can see people reeling from the devastation a dark storm cloud has left.  People I love, and even people I don’t know, dealing with death and loss, crushed relationships, poverty, sickness, and the babies...the babies I have prayed for lately that are suffering from complications at birth; the parents making heart-wrenching decisions.  But I trust them to Christ also.  I offer compassion, not judgment.  Help, not those useless platitudes, which means sometimes, nothing is the best thing to say. Just pray and be available.  They don’t even have to know you are doing it!  

When the storms come, and they will, lean hard on Jesus.  He is faithful.  He is strong.  He is sweet and ever so tender as a loving forever friend is.  He’s not necessarily keeping all the bad from happening--no, a friend can’t do that.  But He is close, breathing His precious promises into my soul, keeping hope alive.  

God watches, and you will see the sun!  

Some Bible passages that I have held onto lately:  

“Let us your servants, see you work again; let our children see your glory. And may the Lord our God show us His approval and make our efforts successful.  Yes, make our efforts successful!”  Psalm 90: 16-17

“And now Lord, I am your servant; do as you have promised concerning me and my family.  May it be a promise that will last forever. And may your name be established and honored forever.”  I Chronicles 17: 23-24

“We put our hope in the Lord.  He is our help and our shield. In Him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in His holy name.  Let your unfailing love surround us, Lord, for our hope is in you alone.”  Psalm 33: 20-22

The Best Days of My Life

“Are the best days of your life behind or in front of you?”  

Our Daily Bread’s writer for Aug 1, 2016, suggested that “when we’re younger, we look ahead, wanting to grow up.  And once we’re older, we yearn for the past, wanting to be young again.”  I’m sure that is true for many, and in fact I know many both young and old that even as I write, are experiencing these feelings. But that has not been my experience so far.  

As a teenager, one afternoon in particular, I was in our kitchen sweeping the floor after cleaning up the dishes.  I remember stopping, looking out the window, and thinking about what it would be like when it was my own home I was cleaning, my own family I was caring for. That had been a dream of mine since a very young age.  I wasn’t “itching” to grow up, or wishing I could hurry up and be there, just pondering the future.  In fact, there were more days that I saw the challenges my parents and other adults faced daily and thought it would be nice if I did not have to “grow up”.  Now that I’m older though, I can say with all honesty..neither have I looked back, yearning for the past or wanting to be young again!  I know some that have, but that has never been something I contemplated or even actually wished for.  There are plenty of  days that I feel old, but other days, I’m not even sure I know what that is!  When I was 12, 25 seemed old; when I was 25, fifty seemed old.  And now, that I’m past that, well...90 seems old!!

Lately though, I have found myself saying out loud to my husband things like, “at our age, I thought we’d be slowing down some”, “at our age are you sure we’re up to that?” or, "at our age should we be taking on a new venture?”  While I’m not looking back saying, “Oh to be young again!”, I guess I am feeling my age, and it’s not 25!  

Two years ago on our 35th wedding anniversary, Roger and I decided to renew our wedding vows.  We sensed very strongly that our lives would be taking some turns.  We had purchased a 25 acre farm a few months prior, and that one huge decision “at our age” would be just the beginning of change.  The following spring we moved Roger’s mom to the farm into a second house on the property. That meant four generations were now living and working together.  Then, Roger and I were approached about a change in our job situation, to make the move from being houseparents to 10 teen boys (this was a live-in arrangement for 5 days) to roles in the office.  So, after nearly 9 years of only coming home a couple of days a week, and sometimes not even that often, we were able to come home every evening.  Because of the daily commute the change would involve, if we hadn’t made the move to the farm we wouldn’t have considered it.  We were now strategically halfway between the church he continues to pastor, and our jobs at the children’s home.  It has all served to make me even more sure that the season of change is not over, and that all of this is just preparation for the next stage God is moving us to.  

Our family farm is now an operating business, Hope Springs Farm.  Roger and our son Dan and his family have worked hard over the last 3 years to build from 8 alpacas that were gifted to us as a rescue, and a rabbitry of just a few breeders.  There are now  over 40 alpacas, and a rabbitry of over 100.  Mine is primarily a support role.  I am often keeping the younger children while they are caring for the animals, or maybe riding along with Dan to the processing plant for the rabbits.  As the business grows, time is stretched even thinner as we try to balance the church and our jobs at the ranch with keeping the farm steady, with Dan still working full-time as well.  Steph homeschools four of their six children, while chasing the two toddlers around, and keeps the pantry stocked with everything from mint tea to apple butter to sell at the farmer’s market.  I look at all they do and then think, “but they’re young, they can handle it!  I’m exhausted!  At our age how much longer can we keep up the pace?”  

Roger had gotten off the tractor one evening after being out in one of the pastures and was coming across the yard.  Mom was on our front porch and called out to him, “Roger, you’re working yourself to death!”  He said, “No, mom, I’m working myself to life!”  And that is the key.  It’s all a matter of perspective.  Roger challenges me daily with his zest for life, his go-getter spirit.  But I also see how little he sleeps, and how tired he is on so many evenings.  Yet, there is joy and purpose.  While there are many nights lately that rest alludes us and I question “how long?” our great God guides us and directs us to keep moving forward.  The long-term purpose in all this, and where it might all take us from here is not so much the focus, as is the opportunity to daily just walk in the path He opens up for us.  

The devotional was encouragement to consider that “when we walk with God, whatever our age, the best is yet to come!” I have never been more convinced that this is true.  I understand that age brings its own unique challenges my wonderful husband and I will inevitably face, and some will likely be hard and even painful.  But as grateful as I am for the life we have right now, I believe our best years lie ahead.

It will be our choice.  

What about you?  Looking back,  wishing for a younger, fitter, slimmer you?  Looking ahead, wondering if you’ll ever be financially stable, settled, or satisfied with where life has you?  May I suggest, just enjoy life right where you are!  Don’t be constantly looking back wishing for what’s not, or wasting the precious here and now trying to relive what’s supposed to be in the past.   And certainly do not let your age hold you back or make you doubt life’s possibilities.  And if you’re on the younger side looking forward?  Enjoy the journey, but don’t try to “hang on to your youth for as long as you can”, because, if you’re walking with God, the best years of your life are ahead of you.  Trust God with His great plan for you to have an abundant and blessed life.  You’ll be able to live a contented life, with no regrets.  

It starts right now.  

In the Quiet

I'm up early, like 5:00 a.m. early...couldn't sleep.  But I needed this time.  Been thinking all night on Psalm 104:1; "Bless the Lord, O my soul.  O Lord my God, you are very great."

I don't praise Him nearly enough.  And lately I find myself just crying out to Him for one thing or another. Just in the last few weeks I have been weighed down by concerns for personal health issues; concerns for my parents and challenges they are facing because of age and health;  major changes and challenges at work that bring demands both physically and emotionally; and then heartbreak over the choices of those I love, feeling rejected, used, betrayed. Being in the parent role we're in to a number of young people has its rewards, but when you love deeply, you hurt deeply.  There's no getting around it.  Yet God knows that.  He is a loving Heavenly Father who has given greatly for our good, and His love and wisdom and help are not always accepted or appreciated by the likes of His stubborn children.  So I draw even closer to Him and with His help just rest in His love for me.  

But I'm not in prayer long for my own needs when my thoughts and prayers turn quickly to so many other precious people going through so much...sickness, loss, concerns over jobs and finances...hurting, burdened people.  So I pray more.  I know it matters.  I know God hears.  I trust Him, even though it's not always easy to patiently wait for Him to answer...and even harder to accept His answers when they may not be what I would want. But that is why I am who I am, and He is Who He is....very great.  And I have allowed my circumstances, and even the concern I have for others, to overshadow that greatness.  I see it.  I know it to be true.  He has saved me.  He loves me in spite of myself.  He has been so gracious to allow me to have experienced such a full and wonderful life.  He has brought so many wonderful people across my path.  I am awed by His creation...looking out over this mountain ridge this morning, seeing the fog lift and sun break through...what beauty!  I close my eyes and I can almost feel an ocean breeze blowing across my face and the calming affect of the waves rolling in as I sit on a sandy beach. It blows me away every time I get to experience it, and my God created it.  Yes, He is great.  

O God, I praise You today.  I just lift my heart in awe of Your greatness.  You are still in charge, of all the intricacies of life, the workings of man, the nature of governments, Your creation.  Today I want to set aside the tendency to see all the negative, and just embrace all the beauty and the glory around me, letting it recharge my soul and enlarge my hope and expectations in You.  I praise You for so many answers to prayer and that You are even mindful of my needs and concerns.  I praise You for giving Your powerful and alive Word to live by and trust in; I am so very grateful for our precious ever growing family.  I praise you for sweet fellowship with other believers, and for the blessing of friendship, and the promise of heaven and Your return.  

"Bless the Lord O my soul; O Lord my God, Thou art very great."  

Asswaged!

"And God remembered Noah, and every living thing, and all the cattle that was with him in the ark..." Genesis 8:1a

The floodgates opened, just as God had said they would.  There they were, Noah and his family and all the animals that God had instructed him to bring onto the ark...together, stuck on that boat!  Not for days, not for weeks, but months!  Over a year actually. 

But they were on the boat.  God remembered Noah.  In obedience and faith Noah built the ark "to the saving of his family".   All those that scoffed at it were lost in the deluge. 

Some days I find myself whining about some situation Rog and I are dealing with, whether it's at home with the farm, at the church, a family concern, or our job at the ranch.  Sometimes I am fearful and anxious about how something will turn out.  Satan would have me think we're all stuck on this boat and it's gonna go down!

But it's not.  God's got this. 

"and God made a wind to pass over the earth and the waters asswaged," Gen. 8:1b

Asswaged!  Is that an awesome word? (Gotta love the KJV)  The wind blew, and the waters began to recede.  Emphasis on began.  The waters did not disappear overnight.  They had to ride it out for quite some time.  But when the wind blew something began to happen.  Even before they could see evidence of the waters going down, it was.  They did not know where they would eventually land, but Noah was confident it would be safe and completely dry! 

I can have that same confidence.  God is that way.  He begins working and I don't often see it or recognize any change.  But it soon becomes clear that He is definitely at work.  I just have to be patient and "ride it out", knowing that I will safely land. 

God remembers. 

Dressed and Draped

“I am overwhelmed with joy in the Lord my God! For He has dressed me with the clothing of salvation, and draped me in a robe of righteousness.”  Isaiah 61:10

 He has dressed me.

My granddaughters are at the age that they enjoy dressing their dolls.  In fact, two of the younger ones enjoy dressing up everything…, themselves, stuffed animals, the dog…!  And they want everyone to see how BEAUTIFUL their “dirls” look (that’s three year old Lily talk for ‘girls’) with EVERY outfit!  Such fun. 

I get overwhelmed easily.  I write quite a bit about being overwhelmed.  But this overwhelmed is a good thing!  It’s being overwhelmed with joy in the Lord, my God.  Let’s break it down.

Overwhelmed ---with JOY!

Overwhelmed with joy ----IN THE LORD!

Overwhelmed with joy in the Lord MY GOD!

Why?? What has me overwhelmed?

He has dressed me.
HE…THE LORD MY GOD…has dressed me.
He has dressed me with THE CLOTHING OF SALVATION!
He has draped me in a ROBE OF RIGHTEOUSNESS. 

Thinking of my God delighting in dressing me the way my granddaughters delight in dressing their dolls just gave me a whole new perspective on this truth.  I know salvation is of the Lord.  It is definitely more about Him than it is about me, I just enjoy the benefits of His great salvation.  But thinking of how it delights the Father to dress me in His clothing of salvation, to imagine Him draping me with His robe of righteousness, well, it does something to me. 

I remember the way my Dad looked at me on my wedding day, seeing me standing there in Mama and Daddy’s bedroom in my gown.  He teared up and couldn’t say much, just that I was beautiful, that he loved me, and that I would always be his little girl.  Then, “It’s time to go.”  He may not even remember it.  It was 35 years ago, but I remember it still.  It brings a smile to my face, and when he is gone it will likely bring a tear to my eye, and overwhelm me with joy. 

That’s sort of what I felt when I read this verse and really gave it some thought, picturing a loving Father embracing me with His love this way.  I am overwhelmed with joy.  The Lord my God has personally clothed me with His salvation and draped me in His robe of righteousness.  Maybe you don’t have that kind of relationship with an earthly father; you can’t picture this kind of tender moment.  I’m sorry.  But I want you to know that God loves you that way.  He aches to have you experience the depth of that kind of love, one that would get personally involved in your life, and give you of Himself all He has to offer.  Believe me, once you grasp it, it with overwhelm you with joy too. 

 

 

 

It's a Seascape kind of morning

“Jesus withdrew with His disciples to the sea.”  Mark 3:7

The beach is my go-to place.  Even when I can’t literally flee to the sea, I go.  I go to the place where Jesus and I can sit and soak up the wind and waves, the sand and salty breeze, and everything else I love about the sea.  It’s the place, even if only in my heart at times, where we talk and enjoy each other; I listen and reflect, overwhelmed and grateful that He has time for me.  The blessing of a moment of rest, even if it’s just mental.  Without it I’d be mental! 

This is one of those mornings.  But Jesus drew me this time, before I had a chance to even think about my go-to place.  He had it in mind.  He knew what I needed.  He knows what it means to me.  So when I opened my Bible to this morning’s devotion, I knew He was calling me away and I needed to follow. 

He.calms.the.waves.  He can calm my anxious heart.  I can trust Him to accomplish through me what I do not feel I can accomplish on my own.

We begin Vacation Bible School this evening.  We’re packing and prepping for the move to the farm.  I have dentist and doctor appointments to get Jordan to in the next two days.  When we come back on duty at the ranch we’ll be on for two weeks.  Our oldest son and his family come in this evening from Indiana;  Christina and the kids get to visit with us while he has business in Atlanta.  And we wait…we wait for the word from our youngest son that the kidney transplant for grandson Ephraim has finally been scheduled, and we will drop everything and travel down to Atlanta to be with them for the surgeries. 

 

Lord, I am wading out today with you by my side.  I am lifting my face to you and basking in the warmth of your love.  I am trying to grasp your greatness and goodness and praise You.  I feel like a grain of sand on the shoreline this morning, small, a little gritty, yet held in Your Hand and part of Your infinite plan.  It’s a beautiful feeling, knowing You are holding me, helping me.  Thank you for meeting me here today. 

 

 

A Child-like Faith

A friend (and co-worker) was sharing with her young son that our grandson Ephraim was going to be able to have his kidney transplant.  They have been faithfully praying for him all this time.  “Oh, thank God!” he exclaimed.  Then, in that precious child-like innocence he asked, “What is that, anyway?”

Lord, I want that kind of faith!   Children don’t have to know or understand; they just believe God.  And isn’t that what He has asked us to do, just trust Him?  Unfortunately, our idea of prayer and faith is often like a trip to visit Santa at the mall.  We have our list.  We’ve been good.  Why wouldn’t He make sure we get what we ask for? 

Scripture tells us that his ways are not ours, His plans are best*.  And even though that may be hard to accept, it’s best if we do.  And that is not just a pat answer.  It’s Truth.  God is so good and patient that even when we struggle with that, He understands and holds us in His hands.  And just like a loving parent with a trusting child, He won’t let go. 

“Lord I believe; help thou mine unbelief.”  Mark 9:24

 *Isaiah 55:8-9 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.  For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

Jeremiah 29:11 “I say this because I know what I am planning for you,” says the Lord. I have good plans for you, not plans to hurt you. I will give you hope and a good future.”  (NCV)

'Streams in the Desert'

It was December of 1986, my last ladies Bible study. Shortly after Christmas we would be packing for the move we would make in January. So much had changed in those few years since coming to New York; Rog and I had changed. God had grown us, stretched us, and brought us to the realization that He had plans for our future that we would never have dreamed of. This small group of ladies had become so dear. I was the young wife and mother in the bunch, and they had mentored and encouraged me in ways I had not expected.

It was here I began to write for our church newsletter. It was here I began to lead the Ladies Bible Study. It was here I began to teach Sunday School and work with the teens and children in the church and Christian School. It was here I began to reach out into the community, visiting families and bringing their children to church on a church bus. I was like a sponge, soaking up all these godly women were pouring into me. The foundation had actually been laid earlier in Virginia with a Bible study I was involved in there, but it was in Saratoga Springs that I began to put into practice some of the things I had begun to understand about what it meant to really live for Christ.

As we sat around the table that snowy December morning in my friend’s kitchen, there were mixed emotions. Some people have lived in one area their entire lives. They live and work and worship with many of the same friends and family they have grown up with and known all their lives. I’m beginning to get a sense of what that is like. We have been here in West Virginia now going on 20 years! We have strong ties and bonds here now. And I enjoy this, seeing the roots go ever deeper as the years pass. But I also treasure the memories of these earlier days in my “growing up years”, spiritually speaking, as a young wife and mother. Roger had not long come to the realization that God’s desire for him was to serve as a preacher, and probably as a pastor. That of course meant that I would be a pastor’s wife!! Not in a million years would I have seen myself in that role just a few short years prior. There was much education and training before us, but after much prayer and counsel we were convinced of the direction we would be going. I was excited, but yet overwhelmed with thoughts of where this decision might take us. But God had prepared us and brought us to this point; He was going before us, and we were embarking on this journey together as a family.

Our goodbyes said in the midst of hugs and tears, we prayed together, and they prayed for me and Rog and our young family, that God’s hand of blessing would be on us. Lynn Greene, one of these sweet ladies, then gave me a gift that I use to this day. It was a copy of Mrs. Charles E. Cowman’s Streams in the Desert, a daily devotional, now a classic. How many times have the Scriptures and the articles in this collection brought to me ‘a word in due season’…at crucial times in my walk with the Lord, ups, downs, highs, lows. Even though I have used a number of devotionals through the years (in fact, I collect them!) I would find myself going back to this one over and over again on some certain, some random days. The wisdom of saints in these pages! Men and women that have gone before me that have seen the faithfulness of God in so many ways, it just always speaks volumes to me. I also will often read the note Lynn wrote to me in the front cover:


Dear Angela,
May the Lord bless you and your Bible Study. May he continue to use you in the lives of other
ladies. May He be with you and help you to uplift your husband an d family in His great work for
the Lord. May you in “all ways acknowledge Him and he will direct your path.”
Love In Him,
Lynn Green, Ps 107:29


With the Lord’s great grace and His enablement, I am trying to continue to do this, Lynn! God’s Word is even more a treasure to me now than it was then. I continue to make myself available to other ladies both old and young to encourage and teach and minister with (though I am still learning so much from so many!); I continue to strive to be the help my husband needs as a loving, supportive wife; my children and my grandchildren are still my priority and my joy to love and serve; and I continue to trust the Savior to guide and direct my every step. He has directed our paths to this point and I know He will be faithful to see us safely to His desired place for us as we keep following hard after Him.

And that Streams I was given? It is still a favorite and a faithful companion, not only in my devotional time, but any time I need the wealth of wisdom and inspiration it provides.

I leave you with some of my favorite thoughts from its pages. BE BLESSED!



The problem of getting great things from God is being able to hold on for the last half hour.-----selected
March 5, on Hebrews 3:14

He has kept you hitherto; do you but hold fast to His dear hand, and He will lead you safely through all things; and when you cannot stand, He will bear you in His arms. ----J. Hudson Taylor, February 8.

“Moses drew near unto the thick darkness where God was” (Ex. 20:21). God has still His hidden secrets, hidden from the wise and prudent. Do not fear them; be content to accept things that you cannot understand; wait patiently. Presently He will reveal to you the treasures of darkness, the riches of the glory of the mystery. Mystery is only the veil of God’s face. Do not be afraid to enter the cloud that is settling down on your life. God is in it. ----selected; March 14

The Star

There was a star in the Eastern sky
That shone down on Bethlehem,
A few had recognized the sign
A King was born to them
Drew them to a manger
To a virgin mother's son
Who would draw us to salvation
God's gift to everyone

And the star still shines
After all this time
As a light for me and you
It beckons us to seek him
Wise men still do
Wise men still do

In these crazy troubled times
The world seems so out of tune
Sometime's it's like we're living
Without a flame to light the room
If you're feeling faithless
And you think you've lost your way
O there is a hope that's bright enough
To turn your night to day

Diamond Rio, The Star Still Shines, 10.9.2007


I was going through Christmas decorations, sorting them by what to keep and what was way past time to throw out. My son Aaron was across the room at the desk on the computer doing some homework. I had been sitting for a few moments, holding ‘the star’, a cardboard cutout stapled to a toilet paper roll and covered in aluminum foil. I couldn’t bring myself to toss it in the throw away pile. We could afford better now, and I had looked for another tree topper, but nothing seemed suitable. Should I keep looking? Maybe I would use a bow this year instead. Even if I replaced “the star”, I’d hang on to it. As I sat there thinking about the Christmas I made that star and how tough that year had been, Aaron spoke:

“I love that star!” I looked up. “You’re not going to get rid of it, are you?”
“Of course not!” I replied. He smiled and went back to work. That was years ago, and that star tops our tree to this day. It represents a precious, though difficult memory of less fortunate times but of a faithful God. Aaron was only two the year that star was made. It’s the only topper he ever remembered seeing. So when I heard him say, “I love that star,” well, tossing it out would have been like tossing out part of what God had used to reveal himself to him.

That star is more than just cardboard and aluminum foil. It is part of Christmas and the reason we celebrate. It has been re-wrapped quite a few times, but oh does it shine! It represents hope, and a God who lights our way. Because of Him we don’t walk in darkness or confusion. Sometimes we must wait for direction, but He is always there letting us know we can trust Him for our every step.

The wise men followed the Star, and as the song says, “Wise men still do."