"Flawed, but Fiercely Loved"

The words from my morning devotional gripped my heart; “flawed, but fiercely loved.”  Part of me was overwhelmed with my failures and inadequacies as I zeroed in on that word that I understood so well…flawed.  I could relate and was certainly feeling the weight of them as I approached the Scripture that morning. Even my prayers were flawed.

I stammered and attempted to verbalize to the Lord just what I was dealing with but the words wouldn’t come.  I asked for forgiveness. I had not willingly or knowingly tried to dishonor Christ in any way, but my heart was heavy with the weakness and waywardness of my thoughts. Such unrest in my spirit that morning.

And then, almost at the very same moment I was overwhelmed with His great love for me.  A fierce love. A pursuing love. One that doesn’t let go. All the flaws make His love for me an even greater wonder.  “Jesus loves even me”. The old hymn came floating back into my memory. Even me. I needed it, wanted it, but still had moments of struggle accepting it for what it is, just pure, unadulterated love.  

Gripped by this great truth I was awed at the greatness of His patience with me.  Patiently allowing me to wallow in my whirlwind of emotions, Patiently waiting for me to lift my eyes off myself and back to Him.  Patiently waiting for me just to come with a heart of worship, not “woe is me”.

According to the powerful Truth of His Word, I am eternally held.  I am forever accepted. I belong to Him. I came to Him in belief, trusting Jesus that HE is Who He says HE is and that He died for me….in my flaws and failures.  He embraced me in them, lovingly accepted me in spite of them. Who He is and what He did is what mattered, This faith journey did not begin and does not rest on what I have ever done, or what I can or cannot do.  My belief brought me to Him, but it was His death and glorious resurrection that saved me.

As if saving me was not enough, I can bask in this fierce love, eternally held, daily carried.  And this Truth lifts me above my flaws and empowers me to live for Him, this great Savior. I am not defined or deterred by my flaws and failures.  They are His because I am His.

“Flawed, but fiercely loved!”  This may just be my new battle cry to shout in the face of Satan when he would attempt to defeat me with self-pity, discouragement and doubt.  The banner of Jesus’ love is lifted over me, His Truth goes before me, putting Satan to flight. “Run devil! Yes I am flawed, but fiercely loved!”   

The sunrise that morning was breathtakingly beautiful. Just a simple little reminder from the Creator that I am fiercely loved.

Breathtaking.

The Struggle is Real

The last day of Summer.  I was sitting on the front porch with a cup of coffee, contemplating how quickly things can change. One hot day in July, in an instant, I was in a new role.  My mother-in-law fell. Just last year I was challenged to care for her through two major surgeries, staying with her and juggling work for several weeks each time as she transitioned back home. But now it was clear she could not live alone any longer. The decision was made to move her in with us.  But, this meant our son and his family that currently lived with us would need to move into her home. Major adjustment and transition for everyone. It was just across the driveway, but it may as well have been 500 miles for what it involved!! Well, that’s an exaggeration of course. But it was definitely an undertaking to move two families at once and made quite the spectacle at times as we drove everything from beds to boxes across the yard in the back of our gator. As if that wasn’t humorous in itself, It took the dogs and the two younger grandkids a couple weeks to figure out what had actually taken place and where they actually lived!  

And now, here we are.  We’re all settled and the arrangement is working very well. I am not back to work full-time yet but doing a little here and there part-time.  So in the last four months we’ve made a major ministry move, moved Mom in to provide round-the-clock care, and my work situation changed drastically which in turn affected our financial situation as well.  Just when you think life is getting somewhat routine and boring….umh, that was sarcasm by the way.

I’ve found myself struggling a bit to just sit back and well, not do much.  And I’m used to doing a lot, all the time. Being home everyday, and as Mom has improved,  I’ve actually been able to do a lot of things I haven’t had time for before like organizing closets, cleaning out drawers, sorting through stuff (you know, all that stuff that can accumulate that can actually be thrown out if given any attention) and, sitting on my front porch sipping coffee.  So there I was, sitting and sipping, praying, and trying to process it all. I turned my head and wow, the most beautiful sunburst was peeking through the trees. I couldn’t pull my gaze away. But I didn’t just see sunshine. I saw rays of hope bursting through the morning mist. I prayed a prayer of praise for the awesome reminder to keep the eternal perspective, and asked the Lord to just help me stay in step with Him through all the changes.   

The Struggle is Real

Don’t lose sight of the eternal in the middle of the NOW struggle.  

The “now” struggle is very present and pressing.  It is real. But, so is the eternal. So is Jesus!

Yes, Jesus is very real and very present in your present struggle.  He is ready to calm your heart, quiet your fears and help you rest in His unfailing love for you.  

In your confusion, as you are hurting, as you wonder what the future holds and what your next step will be...be confident He is loving you still.  He has not abandoned you to yourself or your circumstances.

Whisper His name.  Let your heart sing if your lips cannot.  He will fill you with His peace and the overwhelming sense of His purpose in it all, even if He does not immediately (or ever) reveal to you what that purpose is.  

It is enough.  HE is enough. That is the essence of hope in the struggle.  

“So we do not lose heart.  Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.  For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen.  For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.”

2 Corinthians 4:16-18*

“Let your unfailing love surround us Lord, for our hope is in you alone.  

Psalm 33:22*

“Jesus...our Hope”  2 Timothy 1:1*

*ESV