I found myself thinking today of why it's harder some days than others to live completely abandoned to Jesus. Am I the only one that struggles with feelings of failure, this disappointment with myself in having disappointed my Savior? Sure, I keep my chin up; it doesn't cripple me, but that is only because I'm constantly walking in His love (I keep going, knowing He loves me without condition), keenly aware of His grace and the fact that without Him I can do nothing (John 15). I'm crying out to God, often moment by moment, for His help, His mercy, the ability to trust Him more, a joyful acceptance of His ways especially when I don't understand; the ability to banish fears, the ability to love the way He loves, the ability to set aside all the surface stuff and just be consumed with all that He is. When the flesh (the part of me that would live consumed with self without God) rears it's ugly head, an all-out battle begins. Utter abandonment to Jesus is all that saves me from utter wretchedness.
Absolute abandonment Lord,
it’s what you want from me all along.
More of you, it’s my heart cry
More of you, to live or die
Abandoned, all of me, from now on.
Content to stay and face the daily grind
Is not my heart’s honest condition
But to ask and seek is to find
And when I lay it all on the line
The Father gently smiles on my submission.
Absolute abandonment,
Why did I resist you for so long?
More of you, it’s my heart cry
More of you, to live or die
Abandoned, all of me, from now on.
What’s ahead if I let go?
Is it for me to even know?
Abandoned to His love I’m in His arms.
His will is where I find my resting place.
Why wrestle with a God so wise and strong?
I know His love’s surrounding me
It’s where I know I want to be
My soul is done with this struggle hard and long.
Absolute abandonment,
It’s what you’ve wanted from me all along
More of you, it’s my heart cry
More of you, to live or die
Abandoned, all of me, from now on.
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Desiring Rest
Is it really August?? I find myself shaking my head in unbelief these days as time continues to fly by, and realize how tired I am. Rest. .. I had one of the most restful days at home recently in a long time...months. It was one of those quiet, lazy days, nowhere to rush off to. Much needed sleep, some sun-soaking, some reading, a little TV (Monk, my favorite! I can just so relate to him!). Then, it was back to reality.
Maybe it was because I had so immensely enjoyed the respite. My mind seemed to be in gear, though the body was still lagging a bit. Well, maybe the mind wasn't all there either, but regardless, I was back to the fast-paced demands of my daily responsibilities.
It didn't take long back in "the thick of things" and the pressure started to mount. In addition to the mounting pressures and demands, an oppression began to creep over me. I fought through, praying, holding on to Scripture. Before going to bed, I flipped on the TV and Joyce Myers was on. I was reminded of how important the peace of God is and how directly related it is to the power available to me through Christ. Without the power of Christ resting on me, without resting in Him, I am rendered useless, weak, and ineffective.
I know this, so what was the problem? How was it that the restful bliss I enjoyed just yesterday had so quickly escaped me? I was craving it again, rest. “Oh that I had wings like a dove; I would fly away and be at rest”, the psalmist cried (Psalms 55:6). No, flying away was not the answer, but I could identify with the longing of the psalmist in those words. But, fly to Jesus! Now that was possible!
“Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.” Matthew 11:29
Learn of me, Jesus says, and you will find rest…”unto your souls”. When the soul is at rest, all is well. No one had more demands on him than Jesus in the course of a day. He admonished his disciples to “come apart awhile”. Physical and emotional rest is necessary. But he also met these demands through prayer and dependence on His Father. So must I. A wise friend once told me, “Ang, God will never expect more from you than you are able to accomplish with His enablement, but man will.” Has that ever proven true! Learning to say no…I’ll save that for another day.
I fly to Jesus on a moment by moment basis. If I don’t, I’m quickly wearied spiritually. I appropriate His peace through thinking on His Word and trying to apply His principles of living…learning of Him and how he would deal with pressures, deal with people, juggle a sometimes exhausting schedule. I listen to music that encourages and uplifts, helps direct my thoughts. I pray. In other words, in times when physical rest is just not possible, and the “outward man is perishing” (2 Corinthians 4:16), I rest internally. And I resolve that by the grace of God
I will remain calm.
I will draw on joy for strength.
I will be at peace, for He is my peace.
I will rest in Him the Restorer and Refresher of my soul.
He is my Strong Tower, my Refuge.
He is my Rock, solid and unchanging.
He is Rest.
So, are there days I would love for my only worry in the world to be “if the tide will reach my chair”? (thank you Zac Brown Band for those happy thoughts!) Believe me, I enjoy those times as much as the next person and am grateful for every one of them. Sand, sky, ocean breezes…I think of them often. And even though that’s not my life most days, life is good, and comes with all the Rest in the world!
Return to your rest, O my soul,
For the LORD has dealt bountifully with you.
For You have rescued my soul from death,
My eyes from tears,
My feet from stumbling. Psalm 116: 7-8
Maybe it was because I had so immensely enjoyed the respite. My mind seemed to be in gear, though the body was still lagging a bit. Well, maybe the mind wasn't all there either, but regardless, I was back to the fast-paced demands of my daily responsibilities.
It didn't take long back in "the thick of things" and the pressure started to mount. In addition to the mounting pressures and demands, an oppression began to creep over me. I fought through, praying, holding on to Scripture. Before going to bed, I flipped on the TV and Joyce Myers was on. I was reminded of how important the peace of God is and how directly related it is to the power available to me through Christ. Without the power of Christ resting on me, without resting in Him, I am rendered useless, weak, and ineffective.
I know this, so what was the problem? How was it that the restful bliss I enjoyed just yesterday had so quickly escaped me? I was craving it again, rest. “Oh that I had wings like a dove; I would fly away and be at rest”, the psalmist cried (Psalms 55:6). No, flying away was not the answer, but I could identify with the longing of the psalmist in those words. But, fly to Jesus! Now that was possible!
“Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.” Matthew 11:29
Learn of me, Jesus says, and you will find rest…”unto your souls”. When the soul is at rest, all is well. No one had more demands on him than Jesus in the course of a day. He admonished his disciples to “come apart awhile”. Physical and emotional rest is necessary. But he also met these demands through prayer and dependence on His Father. So must I. A wise friend once told me, “Ang, God will never expect more from you than you are able to accomplish with His enablement, but man will.” Has that ever proven true! Learning to say no…I’ll save that for another day.
I fly to Jesus on a moment by moment basis. If I don’t, I’m quickly wearied spiritually. I appropriate His peace through thinking on His Word and trying to apply His principles of living…learning of Him and how he would deal with pressures, deal with people, juggle a sometimes exhausting schedule. I listen to music that encourages and uplifts, helps direct my thoughts. I pray. In other words, in times when physical rest is just not possible, and the “outward man is perishing” (2 Corinthians 4:16), I rest internally. And I resolve that by the grace of God
I will remain calm.
I will draw on joy for strength.
I will be at peace, for He is my peace.
I will rest in Him the Restorer and Refresher of my soul.
He is my Strong Tower, my Refuge.
He is my Rock, solid and unchanging.
He is Rest.
So, are there days I would love for my only worry in the world to be “if the tide will reach my chair”? (thank you Zac Brown Band for those happy thoughts!) Believe me, I enjoy those times as much as the next person and am grateful for every one of them. Sand, sky, ocean breezes…I think of them often. And even though that’s not my life most days, life is good, and comes with all the Rest in the world!
Return to your rest, O my soul,
For the LORD has dealt bountifully with you.
For You have rescued my soul from death,
My eyes from tears,
My feet from stumbling. Psalm 116: 7-8
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Thank you Charlie the Appliance Guy!
It was taking a determined effort to keep my focus. It wasn’t just the little inconveniences that can crop up in a day, like the dryer going out; or the phone ringing off the hook; or the unexpected errand that has to be run that you just know is going to make dinner late. No, it was more than that. Whether it was the conversation overheard in the grocery line, the top news stories on the radio, the parent cursing and screaming at the child in the parking lot, the talk that came home with the kids from school, or scrolling through the cable guide for decent programming, everything seemed to scream that the wickedness all around me wasn’t going away. And today, well, I just felt like I was drowning in it.
I was just plain discouraged. Discouraged over choices a young person was making; it saddens me to see such a hard willfulness in anyone, but especially a young person. Discouraged with how easily people can take advantage of others; there’s just so much taking in this world and not enough giving. Discouraged with how quickly what is right can be replaced with, “what is necessary”; situational ethics are alive and well in this world. Discouraged that fear so often controls the decisions people make. Where is sound reasoning and responsible thinking rather than emotional impulsiveness? And believer, what about living by faith? Can God’s word and His ways be trusted or not?
I was having “an Elijah moment”…exhausted, ready to run and hide, feeling very alone in my desire to keep serving, keep loving, keep trying to make a difference for Christ’s sake. There were thoughts too, of those I knew were struggling, hurting, and facing serious situations. I was helpless and overwhelmed. And then, in came Charlie. Such a humble and pleasant man. No dilly-dallying around, but focused and prepared, his tool box in hand. There was a dryer that needed to be fixed and he was sure he could take care of it in a jiffy. Fixing things was his specialty, and fix it he did! As he was leaving, I don’t even remember what I said exactly, but he took a moment, pulled out a bench and sat down. He shared that he and his wife, a nurse, were headed to Haiti on a medical missions trip the next week. We started to share experiences and past trips we both had taken and what an impact they had made, perhaps in the lives of others, but most assuredly in our own lives! In just a few minutes I was refreshed, refocused, and ready to take on whatever was coming my way next.
God is so good. He loves me so much. Just when I was about to find a juniper tree of my own to crawl under (pity party), he sends Charlie the Appliance Guy by.
Plus, no more screeching dryer! How great is that?
_____________________________________________________________
Having “an Elijah Moment” of your own (I Kings 19:4)? Here are a few biblical principles to debunk your funk.
1. Make sure you get the rest and nourishment you need physically; it might seem impossible given the demands but do what you can, and trust God to give you the strength you need to do what has to be done. (I Kings 19: 4-8)
2. Listen when God speaks, and remember that it may not be in the way you expected. He can meet you where you are and use whatever He chooses (or whomever; is there an appliance man at your door?) to help you refocus and be refreshed. (I Kings 19: 9-18)
3. Turn your attention to others. There may be someone you can encourage, teach, mentor, or simply come alongside of to support. You may not be able to “fix everything”, but they’ll know you care and are willing to help them be all God wants them to be. (I Kings 19: 19-21)
4. Keep praying and praising, not because you feel like it. You may not feel like it, but God wants to hear from you and He deserves your praise. It reaffirms your trust, and honors Him. (Psalms 13)
I was just plain discouraged. Discouraged over choices a young person was making; it saddens me to see such a hard willfulness in anyone, but especially a young person. Discouraged with how easily people can take advantage of others; there’s just so much taking in this world and not enough giving. Discouraged with how quickly what is right can be replaced with, “what is necessary”; situational ethics are alive and well in this world. Discouraged that fear so often controls the decisions people make. Where is sound reasoning and responsible thinking rather than emotional impulsiveness? And believer, what about living by faith? Can God’s word and His ways be trusted or not?
I was having “an Elijah moment”…exhausted, ready to run and hide, feeling very alone in my desire to keep serving, keep loving, keep trying to make a difference for Christ’s sake. There were thoughts too, of those I knew were struggling, hurting, and facing serious situations. I was helpless and overwhelmed. And then, in came Charlie. Such a humble and pleasant man. No dilly-dallying around, but focused and prepared, his tool box in hand. There was a dryer that needed to be fixed and he was sure he could take care of it in a jiffy. Fixing things was his specialty, and fix it he did! As he was leaving, I don’t even remember what I said exactly, but he took a moment, pulled out a bench and sat down. He shared that he and his wife, a nurse, were headed to Haiti on a medical missions trip the next week. We started to share experiences and past trips we both had taken and what an impact they had made, perhaps in the lives of others, but most assuredly in our own lives! In just a few minutes I was refreshed, refocused, and ready to take on whatever was coming my way next.
God is so good. He loves me so much. Just when I was about to find a juniper tree of my own to crawl under (pity party), he sends Charlie the Appliance Guy by.
Plus, no more screeching dryer! How great is that?
_____________________________________________________________
Having “an Elijah Moment” of your own (I Kings 19:4)? Here are a few biblical principles to debunk your funk.
1. Make sure you get the rest and nourishment you need physically; it might seem impossible given the demands but do what you can, and trust God to give you the strength you need to do what has to be done. (I Kings 19: 4-8)
2. Listen when God speaks, and remember that it may not be in the way you expected. He can meet you where you are and use whatever He chooses (or whomever; is there an appliance man at your door?) to help you refocus and be refreshed. (I Kings 19: 9-18)
3. Turn your attention to others. There may be someone you can encourage, teach, mentor, or simply come alongside of to support. You may not be able to “fix everything”, but they’ll know you care and are willing to help them be all God wants them to be. (I Kings 19: 19-21)
4. Keep praying and praising, not because you feel like it. You may not feel like it, but God wants to hear from you and He deserves your praise. It reaffirms your trust, and honors Him. (Psalms 13)
Monday, March 14, 2011
Jesus Welcomes Rejects
It was the kind of moment when the impact of it just washed quickly over me and I wasn't sure what to do with it. I just knew it was so comforting and healing. It was that moment when a Truth of Scripture just bounces off the page and smacks you square in the face with how beautiful it is. I smiled, then shook my head with the realization that I am so blessed, and not worthy of the love and acceptance Jesus gives. A song came to mind:
"When no one else knows how I feel, Your love for me is proven real. When noone else cares where I've been, You run to me with outstretched hands...and You hold me in Your arms, again." (Building 429)
"They (pharisees) answered and said unto him, Thou wast altogether born in sins and dost thou teach us? And they cast him out. Jesus heard that they had cast him out; and when he had found him he said unto him, Dost thou believe on the Son of God?"
(John 9:34-35)
And here's the beautiful part: They cast him out, Jesus sought him out and found him!!
There will always be those that are 'quick to cast'; the infamous "they" will accuse, abandon, disappoint, betray, reject. You try to do the right thing, honor God, obey His word and instead of being able to be excited and joyful about something great God has done, you have to "answer to the accusers". This blind man had received sight after a lifetime of living in darkness. He had responded to Jesus in obedience, and experienced healing. Then he has to stand before Jesus' accusers. He chooses to defend Jesus' authority to heal him, even if it occured on the sabbath. The problem was that in doing this, he challenged the Pharisees who considered themselves the only authority that mattered.
It just melted my heart to see this man robbed of the joy of this moment and cast out. And he didn't even really know Jesus at this point! He just knew "a man called Jesus"(John 9:11)had authority to direct him ("go to the pool of Siloam and wash" (John 9:7), the ability to heal him, and compassion to do so. But then Jesus found him! He gave him a chance to "see" Him clearly for who He was, the very Son of God, and the man believed and worshipped.
Jesus specializes and welcomes rejects. Those that are written off by others as "insignificant nobodies", Christ died for, and they are Somebody to Him. They just need the chance to see Him for who He is, the One who can forgive them and accept them. And even in the grace already experienced in salvation there are days when doing the right thing just lands you in the outcast pile, crushed and broken. To live in such a way that your obedience to Christ is evident will challenge any idea or philosophy, action or attitude that is not wholly submitted to God's authoritative Truth. Rejection is a consequence and can be brutal.
"If the world hate you, know that it hated me before it hated you" John 15:18
They cast him out, He found him.
He finds me.
"When no one else knows how I feel, Your love for me is proven real. When noone else cares where I've been, You run to me with outstretched hands...and You hold me in Your arms, again." (Building 429)
"They (pharisees) answered and said unto him, Thou wast altogether born in sins and dost thou teach us? And they cast him out. Jesus heard that they had cast him out; and when he had found him he said unto him, Dost thou believe on the Son of God?"
(John 9:34-35)
And here's the beautiful part: They cast him out, Jesus sought him out and found him!!
There will always be those that are 'quick to cast'; the infamous "they" will accuse, abandon, disappoint, betray, reject. You try to do the right thing, honor God, obey His word and instead of being able to be excited and joyful about something great God has done, you have to "answer to the accusers". This blind man had received sight after a lifetime of living in darkness. He had responded to Jesus in obedience, and experienced healing. Then he has to stand before Jesus' accusers. He chooses to defend Jesus' authority to heal him, even if it occured on the sabbath. The problem was that in doing this, he challenged the Pharisees who considered themselves the only authority that mattered.
It just melted my heart to see this man robbed of the joy of this moment and cast out. And he didn't even really know Jesus at this point! He just knew "a man called Jesus"(John 9:11)had authority to direct him ("go to the pool of Siloam and wash" (John 9:7), the ability to heal him, and compassion to do so. But then Jesus found him! He gave him a chance to "see" Him clearly for who He was, the very Son of God, and the man believed and worshipped.
Jesus specializes and welcomes rejects. Those that are written off by others as "insignificant nobodies", Christ died for, and they are Somebody to Him. They just need the chance to see Him for who He is, the One who can forgive them and accept them. And even in the grace already experienced in salvation there are days when doing the right thing just lands you in the outcast pile, crushed and broken. To live in such a way that your obedience to Christ is evident will challenge any idea or philosophy, action or attitude that is not wholly submitted to God's authoritative Truth. Rejection is a consequence and can be brutal.
"If the world hate you, know that it hated me before it hated you" John 15:18
They cast him out, He found him.
He finds me.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
I love God's Sense of Humor!
My first reaction when opening my devotional booklet was to smirk at the irony of it; “Not funny, Lord. “ It was entitled “Emergency Room Fellowship”, and emergency rooms were not what I wanted to read about at the moment. I sighed, certain I needed something more after the night we had. Well, let me explain.
Rog had spent the previous night in the ER of all places, with one of our guys. And only because when the doctor was called we were told it would be mid-March before he could be seen. He was told to go to the ER where the doctor was on call for the evening and he would meet him there. Not until hours later did we learn that hospital policy would not allow his doctor to be notified until after one of the ER doctors had seen him. So at 1:10 a.m. (the doctor had left the hospital hours earlier of course), the ER tech called the doctor. Well, to spare you the additional details, it was nearly 5:30 a.m. before Rog finally got home, nearly 13 hours later. He actually tried to leave after the first several hours with the intent to just take him back the next morning, but was told insurance would not pay for the visit if he left after checking in! (Insurance; to have it or not to have it. What a headache either way! I’ll save that issue for another day.)
While Rog was taking care of that situation, I was dealing with a couple of my own. You know the old saying…it’s an old saying for a reason…”when it rains, it pours!” Mini-crisis #1: an angry young man that took several hours to settle down after having to accept the consequences of his belligerent and willful behavior which included deliberate destruction of property (minimal damage thankfully). On a side note, this is why many parents will not say no to a child; anything to avoid a confrontation. Tantrums are a challenge enough with toddlers, but when they’re teens, situations can be quite volatile. Oops, another issue to save for another day! (Note: by Sunday he was like a new person.) Mini-crisis #2: en route from North Carolina for a visit, our 16 year-old nephew called to say he was involved in a hit-and-run with a semi! Over the next several hours, numerous phone calls, texts, conversations with state troopers, the tow truck driver…we were satisfied that he was safe and his mom was on the way to pick him up. So, I was finally able to lie down around 4:30 a.m. after relaying phone messages through the night, between all parties involved in each situation.
In a flash, as I sat there with my Bible open, still frustrated, relieved, emotionally drained, these events crossed my mind. Had it really been just one evening? This devotion was exactly what I needed. And I finally chuckled just thinking, God has such a sense of humor! His timing is perfect. The thought was taken from Galatians about bearing one another’s burdens. This was exactly what had taken place with us and suddenly, instead of frustration and exhaustion, I was flooded with gratefulness. During the midst of the chaos, one of the phone calls I made was to co-workers and friends. No, not just co-workers and friends, but a brother and sister in Christ. In a minute, he was ready to relieve Rog at the hospital so that he could go and meet our nephew. In the end, he didn’t have to do that. So when he left me, comfortable that everyone was calm and I had the guys in bed after our devotion and snack time, he instead drove into town and picked up something for Rog and his ER patient to eat (neither had eaten in hours) without saying a word to me about it. What an encouragement he was, giving Emergency Room fellowship a whole new meaning. In the meantime, she called, knowing what kind of night it had been and prayed with me over the phone, asking God to give grace and strength and whatever else we would need to get through the rest of the weekend.
People can choose to be kind, no doubt. But when God is involved the spiritual impact is difficult to explain. Both the burdened and the burden-bearer are blessed, encouraged, uplifted, strengthened, and Christ is glorified. The “law of Christ” is fulfilled (Galatians 6:2), the law of love. It’s Christian love in action, and just one reason it’s so special to be a part of His family. It can be expressed in a smile or hug, a phone call, a prayer, or even a trip to the emergency room in the middle of the night with food!
Lord, make me a blessing to someone today. Not so that I can feel good about myself for having done a good deed, but so your name can be honored, and others can be touched. Bless both the burdened and the burden-bearer and show your love to the world in the process.
“By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another." John 13:35
Rog had spent the previous night in the ER of all places, with one of our guys. And only because when the doctor was called we were told it would be mid-March before he could be seen. He was told to go to the ER where the doctor was on call for the evening and he would meet him there. Not until hours later did we learn that hospital policy would not allow his doctor to be notified until after one of the ER doctors had seen him. So at 1:10 a.m. (the doctor had left the hospital hours earlier of course), the ER tech called the doctor. Well, to spare you the additional details, it was nearly 5:30 a.m. before Rog finally got home, nearly 13 hours later. He actually tried to leave after the first several hours with the intent to just take him back the next morning, but was told insurance would not pay for the visit if he left after checking in! (Insurance; to have it or not to have it. What a headache either way! I’ll save that issue for another day.)
While Rog was taking care of that situation, I was dealing with a couple of my own. You know the old saying…it’s an old saying for a reason…”when it rains, it pours!” Mini-crisis #1: an angry young man that took several hours to settle down after having to accept the consequences of his belligerent and willful behavior which included deliberate destruction of property (minimal damage thankfully). On a side note, this is why many parents will not say no to a child; anything to avoid a confrontation. Tantrums are a challenge enough with toddlers, but when they’re teens, situations can be quite volatile. Oops, another issue to save for another day! (Note: by Sunday he was like a new person.) Mini-crisis #2: en route from North Carolina for a visit, our 16 year-old nephew called to say he was involved in a hit-and-run with a semi! Over the next several hours, numerous phone calls, texts, conversations with state troopers, the tow truck driver…we were satisfied that he was safe and his mom was on the way to pick him up. So, I was finally able to lie down around 4:30 a.m. after relaying phone messages through the night, between all parties involved in each situation.
In a flash, as I sat there with my Bible open, still frustrated, relieved, emotionally drained, these events crossed my mind. Had it really been just one evening? This devotion was exactly what I needed. And I finally chuckled just thinking, God has such a sense of humor! His timing is perfect. The thought was taken from Galatians about bearing one another’s burdens. This was exactly what had taken place with us and suddenly, instead of frustration and exhaustion, I was flooded with gratefulness. During the midst of the chaos, one of the phone calls I made was to co-workers and friends. No, not just co-workers and friends, but a brother and sister in Christ. In a minute, he was ready to relieve Rog at the hospital so that he could go and meet our nephew. In the end, he didn’t have to do that. So when he left me, comfortable that everyone was calm and I had the guys in bed after our devotion and snack time, he instead drove into town and picked up something for Rog and his ER patient to eat (neither had eaten in hours) without saying a word to me about it. What an encouragement he was, giving Emergency Room fellowship a whole new meaning. In the meantime, she called, knowing what kind of night it had been and prayed with me over the phone, asking God to give grace and strength and whatever else we would need to get through the rest of the weekend.
People can choose to be kind, no doubt. But when God is involved the spiritual impact is difficult to explain. Both the burdened and the burden-bearer are blessed, encouraged, uplifted, strengthened, and Christ is glorified. The “law of Christ” is fulfilled (Galatians 6:2), the law of love. It’s Christian love in action, and just one reason it’s so special to be a part of His family. It can be expressed in a smile or hug, a phone call, a prayer, or even a trip to the emergency room in the middle of the night with food!
Lord, make me a blessing to someone today. Not so that I can feel good about myself for having done a good deed, but so your name can be honored, and others can be touched. Bless both the burdened and the burden-bearer and show your love to the world in the process.
“By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another." John 13:35
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)