“Now the Angel of the Lord found her by a spring of water in the wilderness…and He said, Hagar, Sarai’s maid, where have you come from and where are you going?” Genesis 16: 7-8
Wow, loaded questions. Where have you come from? Where are you going? Well, Hagar had an answer for where she had come from. She was “fleeing from the presence” of Sarai.
Quite the drama plays itself out in this relationship triangle. There’s Abraham, married to Sarah (Abram and Sarai at this point). They’ve been promised a son, but Sarah is unable to bare children. She believes God will make good on His Word, but she’s not sure when or how. Perhaps He needs her assistance in this matter. Enter Hagar, Sarah’s handmaid. It has been ten years already, and still the Lord has kept Sarah from bearing children (16:2). So, she suggests to Abraham that perhaps she could raise up a child born to him from Hagar; kind of a surrogate mother situation, only without the technological availability of in vitro fertilization. Well, this sounds like a reasonable arrangement until Hagar actually conceives. Sarah begins to feel despised by Hagar and decides she has made a terrible mistake. When Abraham says she can deal with Hagar as she pleases, Sarah is harsh with her. Hagar flees.
The Lord comes to Hagar in her place of despair. She’s pregnant, alone, and since she cannot tell the Lord where she is going she is likely wondering, “what next?” She knows where she came from, a very difficult and awkward situation. Perhaps Hagar had been a bit too excited about the baby. Maybe she appeared to be flaunting the fact that she was able to conceive so quickly. Maybe she somehow made Sarah feel that she was favored now by Abraham. After all, she was going to give him a child. Whatever the case, Hagar was treated harshly enough to make her decide to run away from it all.
It’s January, and I’m guessing I’m not alone, especially this time of year, in spending some time looking back. As the New Year approached I began to pray and think about what might lie ahead in 2012. Speculation, anticipation, even some anxiety is perhaps normal…or at least typical when considering the future. Maybe it’s my age, but looking back is also somewhat nostalgic. I’m thankful to be able to look back and treasure most of the memories of my childhood; those early years of marriage; the privilege to have born and reared children; the lessons learned, the friendships forged; the places traveled; and the many special people over the years God has allowed me to get to know and love. I am also often overwhelmed with a grateful heart when I think of where God has brought me from, what life might have been like without Christ, His patience with me.
But it’s not just in these contemplative moments that the questions of where I’ve come from and where I’m going enter my thoughts. Like Hagar, there have been a few times I have been distraught over circumstances that were draining me dry. After a while, I just wanted out, wanted the hurt to just stop, wanted the situation to just be over. Failures are often easier to try to ignore or leave behind, than face; hurts might seem easier to run from rather than work through. Whether it’s a strong-willed toddler or a turbulent teen, conflict at work or in the home, things can often escalate to something we’d rather run from than embrace. But running away, especially if you don’t know where you’re going, is not the answer.
I imagine Hagar was resistant and aghast when the Lord told her to go back and face the very thing she was trying to escape. It was not going to be easy to go back and submit herself once again to Sarah’s harsh treatment. She may have brought much of it on herself, but even if she had not it would be humbling to return and purposely subject herself to the unfavorable situation she would be in. Yet, that is exactly what the Lord told her to do.
I am sure the Lord has not confronted me with these same questions for the last time, and not just on a yearly basis as I reflect on the passing of time. Because repeat performances of painful experiences are not usually desired, when things get difficult, it’s natural to just want out. There is a time for walking away, and this is not about being doormats or martyrs either. This is about a willingness to submit as the Lord directs, trusting Him to give strength and grace to face whatever we might otherwise wish to just escape from. It won’t be easy, I’ve been there. But God is so very faithful. It’s worth wading through the high water to get what God has for you on the other side of the flood. When fleeing is all you can feel, when you don’t think you can go on, let Him find you where you are, lovingly confront you in your distress, and give you what you need to make it through. He may just ask you a couple of loaded questions to help.
“Where are you coming from?”
What is it exactly that I am trying to escape from? Is it fear, uncertainty, failure, heartache, mistreatment, unfair or unnecessary conflict? Am I feeling that it’s just too much for anyone to expect? Is it just too hard, too demanding? Is there anything I can do to make the situation better? Is there something I could do differently? What if God doesn’t want it to end just yet, can I trust Him? Will I trust Him?
“Where are you going?”
How does God expect me to handle things? What can I learn from this situation? In what ways can God use this to grow me, stretch my faith and increase my dependency on Him? What should I do while I’m waiting? What if this isn’t even about me, but God is using my situation to impact someone else? Are my responses and reactions honoring Him? Is it time for a change? Is a breakthrough or an open door about to happen?
