Jesus You Are Near

For in Him we live and move and have our being.  Acts 17:28

This is one of my favorite verses of scripture.  It says it all.  I am nothing, He is everything.  He is the giver of life.  I cannot bring life into existence; I cannot take life away.  That is within the life-giving power of His great hands.  If I, or anyone, has life, it is because of Him.

This prayer by Gwen Ford Faulkenberry confesses that very thought:

             “Jesus You are nearer than my next breath.  You never take Your eyes off me.  Every moment of my day I am held in Your nail-scarred hands.  Since nothing comes into my life that doesn’t’ pass through You first, help me Lord, to trust in You.”

So, knowing and believing the very truth of His Word, that we live and move and have our being in Him, I have no problem understanding or accepting that my next breath comes from Him.  But to read these words in light of the past few months, the past few days…”Jesus, You are nearer than my next breath.” I could only sigh, and say “oh God” in humble gratitude.

Dr. Jernigan, Ephraim's pediatrician/nephrologist
with him since before he was born

Veronica, Ephraim's living donor

How near He has been, giving us wisdom and moving us forward as we pursued the purchase of the farm…Hope Springs (and it does!); how near He has been enabling me to trust Him when everything in me wanted to crumble at the thought of my grandson going on dialysis when his kidney failed…it just wasn’t what I had planned for him and my son and his wife to have to go through.  They had already gone through so much in the last four years.  But oh how God has been glorified in his little life these last four years.  God chose to breathe life into him against all odds, and has sustained him to this point.  On this past Thursday, October 24, Ephraim was given a chance at life again as God provided “the perfect kidney” through another of His dear children, Veronica Shelton. 

 

 

In Him we live and move and have our being.  It is true.  We have lived it, especially in this last week.  On Saturday, October 26, our oldest son and his wife gave birth to their fourth beautiful baby, a girl…Madalyn Kate…our 15^th grandchild!  Just one more great and gracious testimony to the truth that God is the great Life-giver.  It couldn’t have come at a more precious time.  When Christina became pregnant, no one had any idea that Ephraim would have this transplant as late as October.  In May, when he had to go on dialysis we prayed it wouldn’t be long.  But it was as long as it needed to be, and God saw fit to have these two life-giving events in our family coincide.  

 

 

 

Elisha with his dad, Aaron who had the
pleasure of baptizing him.

And the icing on the on the cake??  The ultimate event to attest to God’s great life-giving nearness? Another grandson, six year old Elisha called on the way home from church to share some awesome news!  “Grammy, I got baptized today!”  He had called some time ago to tell us he had given his heart to Jesus.  But now, to be baptized?  He had given ample indication of his understanding and desire to show everyone, being obedient and sealing this decision, that he now belonged to Jesus.  Gratitude swelled!!  Glory, and God be praised! 

 

There will be a few more bumps in the road I am sure as we travel along.  But life is so good!  And with God, the great Life-giver, it is great! 

 

My Beloved

You are nearer…

Than the sun that pours through my window at dawn,

Warming me, waking me--inviting me into the new day.

You are nearer…

Than the cool water that I splash on my face

Tingling and sparkling in my skin…refreshing me.

You are nearer…

Than the outside air and the wind that blows

Through my hair--awakening my soul

To the beauty around me and the beauty of life.

You are nearer…

Than the gentle warmth

Of the firelight--softening, illuminating, and soothing

You give me satisfaction and peace

At the end of a day well spent

And, when my head falls softly onto the pillow at night

You are nearer…

Than the moon and stars above me,

Watching over me,

Lighting the world.

Jesus, You are nearer than my next breath.

You never take Your eyes off me.

Every moment of my day I am held in Your nail-scarred hands.

Since nothing comes into my life that doesn’t pass through You first,

Help me, Lord, to trust in You.

                                                                        Gwen Ford Falkenberry, Jesus Be Near Me

 

 

Birthdays, and just Days

"Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work with in us, to Him be glory..." Ephesians 3:20-21

A small but oh so meaningful gift, just peanuts really (literally!); an amazing miracle; a much needed hug; an answer to prayer; a funny card; a quick kiss…birthdays, or just days.  I can choose to celebrate life or just live a miserable, complaining, ungrateful, pity-party existence. 

 Yesterday was my husband’s 53^rd birthday. It did not go by unnoticed or uncelebrated, but it wasn’t all I wanted it to be either. He gives so much.  Life can get so stinkin’ complicated, and I let it overwhelm me. Then again,  relationships matter to me ALL the time, and I make a point to try to let people know how much I love them in the moment, especially my family and friends because I’m not one of those wonderful ladies that manage to keep track of every special day and plan accordingly.  That’s not an excuse, well, actually it is and not a very good one.  I envy those people, because however big or small the gesture, it can be such an encouragement. It’s just that, when I try to be like that, I fail miserably.  And as if that’s not enough, even when I want to show how much I care I let daily distractions win out all too often.

 

I’m so grateful my husband is patient and kind.  He’s a simple man that is happy with simple shows of love and appreciation.  He’s confident enough, and very grateful for a family that he knows loves him.  So, it is not unusual to hear him say often, as he did last night before falling asleep, “we have such a great family!”

Yesterday Stephanie, our daughter (in-law)made Roger his favorite cake, German Chocolate. 

The three  grandchildren bought gifts with their own money for Poppy…cashews and one of his favorite green teas.  They also made him birds (he loves birds)out of origami.  Is that cool or what? . 

He received a video text from another daughter (in-law).  It was one of our hearing impaired granddaughters signing and singing Happy Birthday.  Precious!! 

And then last night, Ephraim, our 4 year-old grandson waiting kidney transplant called.  He was home from the hospital after yet another long and scary day, and he wanted to wish Poppy a Happy Birthday!  Just hearing his voice on the phone after the week he has had, well, it brought a lump to my throat. 

Earlier, we looked at a picture posted by another daughter (in law) of the grandkids in a corn box, and we had to laugh out loud at the antics, especially of one!  Each of the boys (and their fams)let him know in their own unique ways that he was in their thoughts, and that he is loved. 

Birthdays will come and go.  Days will continue to be full and crazy.  Transplant has been scheduled for October 24^th, and we are making plans to be with Seth and Rebecca during this time.  Our oldest son and his sweet wife will likely be having our 15^th grandchild that same week.  She is due the 21^st.  Jordan has another round of shots scheduled for the 21^st in preparation for her senior trip to the Dominican Republic.  She has gotten her driver’s license this week and there are other “senior biggies” on the horizon that we want to share with her.  I feel the weight on the shoulders of a close friend who sees her daddy’s health failing after a serious hospital stay.  She’s spending all the time she can with him and helping her mom.  It’s a difficult time.  I wish I could do more to help her get through this time. 

I can’t imagine my life being any other way.  I know you feel the same.  Most of you are living the same!!! And believe me, I pray for you individually and regularly.  You know who you are!  And some of you might be surprised to know how often you come to mind. 

Life is good.  It’s hard sometimes, but it’s still good because God is good.  And He’s big.  So,so big.  As overwhelmed as I can get in a day, His love overwhelms me more.  Sometimes I just sit still and wallow in it.  And as other precious friends and family pray and encourage in the many ways they do, I am tangibly touched.  I can fail miserably, and knowing His love is still there brings me back to try again.  I can “feel” inadequate and undeserving, but that’s just one way I “know” His love is real. He is bigger than how I feel. 

I wouldn’t make it as a birthday planner that’s for sure.  But Jesus makes every day worth celebrating.

I choose to celebrate.