A friend posted an inspirational meme this morning on Facebook (thank you Kim!)
The birds are out in multitudes and their early morning songs are waking me along with the earlier sunrises. Nest-building is in full swing! When I read this meme I couldn’t help but visualize those mama and daddy birds in this very process with their young, and what a beautiful picture it is. I am reminded that just like those little birds, I am in the care of a loving heavenly Father. Are the circumstances swirling in my life right now actually a loving Father “pushing me to the edge”, strengthening my faith and testing my wings for flight?
Life has definitely whirled out of control lately on several fronts, and I find myself often seeking the solitude of the early morning to just get alone with God and get a grip. In two short years our whole life situation has changed and we now seem to be headed in a completely different direction. I have stopped asking “God, is this You? Is this really what You are doing?” Our job situation has changed...drastically, thus our financial situation has changed drastically; our living situation has completely changed; our church and ministry situation has changed; our family roles have changed; our health has even changed!
Is anyone else experiencing the tension and turmoil of what seems to be utter chaos? Are you caught up in a whirlwind of overwhelming situations that are invading your life, one right after the other, trying to rob you of joy and peace, causing you to question and wrestle with choices and challenges? Wondering where God is and why He seems silent? When you pray the only answer seems to be trust and wait and that just feels so empty?!
I’ll share some of the circumstances for those who want to take the time to read the details, but the specifics don’t matter as much as the take-away...and there is one! GOD IS STILL GREAT AND GOOD! TRUST AND WAIT ARE NOT WASTED CHRISTIANESE NICETIES! They are powerful tools that sharpen and strengthen the Christ-follower if we let them.
The songs of the birds have reminded me of the beauty of just being. I sense God’s presence ever strong and true. I know His promises are being worked out in my life. I know the end result of all these challenges will be for our good and His glory. His Word is timely and practical and relevant and personal. But it’s the process, just getting through the day-to-day that’s not so easy. As in the past, I will either “fall off the edge” into His loving hands, or I’ll soar, learning to reach new heights! So can you. Just don’t give up and don’t give in. If you are a Christ-follower, the same God that resurrected Jesus from the dead (and that’s power!) is the same God that is at work in you and your world. Keep your focus on the person of Jesus, not just on what He may or may not be doing. Ask God to grow your faith, believing what you cannot yet see. Ask Him to use your wait, for you or someone else, for heart needs and needed change, for spiritual and lasting impact. Ask Him to deepen your compassion, enrich your prayer life, open your eyes to opportunities, to increase your ability to see all the positive and dwell on those things (Philippians 4:8) And daily, even moment by moment, thank Him for it all, all it involves, all it is and will accomplish, and for the great Savior, Friend, Guide, Provider, Comforter He is.
(1 Thessalonians 5:18)
At my age, I thought my husband and I were settling in. Our children were raised and I truly believed that was the larger part of my life’s work. They are all faithfully serving the Lord, with beautiful families of their own, faith challenges and struggles of their own but with a big God. And yes, one facet of our time of ministry is behind us for now as Roger is not currently pastoring a church. But God has given me an excitement for the new possibilities before us and that eventually all these changes, all this struggle and loss, will make sense. That’s just God. He’s purposeful and particular. We just have to be open and sensitive to His way of getting our attention and directing us, leading us. Time spent in earnest prayer, time spent in the Word, seeing circumstances through the lense of faith and opportunity, continuing in faithful service and care for others...all this works to bring direction and stability...and answers! I am choosing to not limit my God. The fact that God is in control and can be trusted is enough. Let that truth sink in and empower you to greater faith in Him today.
I do not have to know all or understand. God does.
“To God belong wisdom and power; counsel and understanding are His” Job 12:13
Those details I mentioned:
Having bought our farm six years ago in the next county over, it now appears we may be moving back to where we were for the first 20 years of living in WV, unless the Lord makes it clear for some reason that we are to completely relocate altogether. Remember, I’m trying to be open to whatever, especially when it doesn’t seem to make sense that we would be led to make these life changes only to be redirected in a short period of time!! But, “trust and obey, there’s no other way”, as the old hymn says! So for six years, together with our 2nd son Dan, and his family, we have tried our hand at raising goats, chickens, rabbits, and primarily alpacas. Our farm was ideal for our living situation...the larger home on the property for our son, his family and us; the smaller home was a perfect “mother-in-law cottage” used and loved by my mother-in-law. We were located exactly halfway between our church/ministry and our jobs. Once our jobs ended, for the last two years, I have worked with my son Dan, to open and operate a coffee shop here in the small town of Oak Hill where we have the farm. In October he opened another shop in nearby Beckley. Eighteen months ago my husband took a position back in Beckley as administrator of Greater Beckley Christian School and we all joined Faith Baptist Church. In July of 2018 my mother-in-law fell and we moved her in with us and I became full-time caregiver. Until recent new health complications with her, I was still able to help at the coffee shop a few days a week, but that is becoming harder and harder with the 24 hour care Mom is now needing. In February Roger experienced a mild stroke and is now having to work to keep his blood pressure in check. I was sick the entirety of November and December with bronchitis/sinus infection/pneumonia and chronic urinary tract infections. I tried to go back to work in January only to have 10-day-long relapses in both February and March. Dan and Steph during this time, had their 7th child and there were complications that kept her and baby Benaiah hospitalized for longer than usual. (There were only four children when we first came to the farm!) And now Dan has found he will be needing a surgery. This will all affect the shops of course. And with Roger and Dan so busy with other responsibilities, Steph busy with the children and new baby, me busy with Mom Harding, well, the care of the farm was lacking and taxing. So, we have been making the necessary adjustments (listing our farm, downsizing the animals, changing vehicles, etc…) to better suit our new situations, but you likely understand why some days I can find myself a bit overwhelmed. As mom’s health declines and I spend multiple days in doctor’s offices, as new challenges surface almost daily, we are grateful for the many ways God has proven His love and faithfulness to us. I just want to scream it for all those that may not know Him or may not choose a daily faith-walk with Jesus!
All these things have also served to make me even more keenly aware of the struggles and hurts of others. I look at our situations and I can only see the goodness and greatness of God as He gives great grace in the middle of great suffering that others are experiencing. We have dear friends in Venezuela, and all they are experiencing at the hands of a misguided, cruel and collapsing government system is heartbreaking. I pray desperately and daily for their life and work there and the Venezuelan people they love. There are other atrocities, occurring daily abroad, in Nigeria, China, North Korea to name a few. Then there is abortion and addiction at home, in my own community and family, destroying individuals, families and whole communities. My personal struggles pale in comparison when I take a step back and consider the broader perspective. Oh how this world needs Jesus! And oh how we need the encouragement, support, and prayers for each other!
It’s hard to express the joy and anticipation I am truly experiencing as I share these developments. Yes, there have been, and I am confident still will be, plenty of tears...that’s just me! And again, that process...it’s not all clear yet, and that’s stressful. The financial pressures are draining, the uncertainty is unsettling. But there have been lessons in praying, lessons in waiting, lessons in repenting and forgiving, lessons in relationships, lessons in giving...yes, giving. We are seeing our giving in spite of our need overflow in rich generosity and abundant joy (2 Corinthians 8:2). We are going along the path with just enough light for the next step. But that’s all that is promised, and all that we need!! (Psalm 119:105).
So hang in there, this ride is not over!! Thank you Jesus!
