Loaded Questions

“Now the Angel of the Lord found her by a spring of water in the wilderness…and He said, Hagar, Sarai’s maid, where have you come from and where are you going?” Genesis 16: 7-8

Wow, loaded questions. Where have you come from? Where are you going? Well, Hagar had an answer for where she had come from. She was “fleeing from the presence” of Sarai.

Quite the drama plays itself out in this relationship triangle. There’s Abraham, married to Sarah (Abram and Sarai at this point). They’ve been promised a son, but Sarah is unable to bare children. She believes God will make good on His Word, but she’s not sure when or how. Perhaps He needs her assistance in this matter. Enter Hagar, Sarah’s handmaid. It has been ten years already, and still the Lord has kept Sarah from bearing children (16:2). So, she suggests to Abraham that perhaps she could raise up a child born to him from Hagar; kind of a surrogate mother situation, only without the technological availability of in vitro fertilization. Well, this sounds like a reasonable arrangement until Hagar actually conceives. Sarah begins to feel despised by Hagar and decides she has made a terrible mistake. When Abraham says she can deal with Hagar as she pleases, Sarah is harsh with her. Hagar flees.

The Lord comes to Hagar in her place of despair. She’s pregnant, alone, and since she cannot tell the Lord where she is going she is likely wondering, “what next?” She knows where she came from, a very difficult and awkward situation. Perhaps Hagar had been a bit too excited about the baby. Maybe she appeared to be flaunting the fact that she was able to conceive so quickly. Maybe she somehow made Sarah feel that she was favored now by Abraham. After all, she was going to give him a child. Whatever the case, Hagar was treated harshly enough to make her decide to run away from it all.

It’s January, and I’m guessing I’m not alone, especially this time of year, in spending some time looking back. As the New Year approached I began to pray and think about what might lie ahead in 2012. Speculation, anticipation, even some anxiety is perhaps normal…or at least typical when considering the future. Maybe it’s my age, but looking back is also somewhat nostalgic. I’m thankful to be able to look back and treasure most of the memories of my childhood; those early years of marriage; the privilege to have born and reared children; the lessons learned, the friendships forged; the places traveled; and the many special people over the years God has allowed me to get to know and love. I am also often overwhelmed with a grateful heart when I think of where God has brought me from, what life might have been like without Christ, His patience with me.

But it’s not just in these contemplative moments that the questions of where I’ve come from and where I’m going enter my thoughts. Like Hagar, there have been a few times I have been distraught over circumstances that were draining me dry. After a while, I just wanted out, wanted the hurt to just stop, wanted the situation to just be over. Failures are often easier to try to ignore or leave behind, than face; hurts might seem easier to run from rather than work through. Whether it’s a strong-willed toddler or a turbulent teen, conflict at work or in the home, things can often escalate to something we’d rather run from than embrace. But running away, especially if you don’t know where you’re going, is not the answer.

I imagine Hagar was resistant and aghast when the Lord told her to go back and face the very thing she was trying to escape. It was not going to be easy to go back and submit herself once again to Sarah’s harsh treatment. She may have brought much of it on herself, but even if she had not it would be humbling to return and purposely subject herself to the unfavorable situation she would be in. Yet, that is exactly what the Lord told her to do.

I am sure the Lord has not confronted me with these same questions for the last time, and not just on a yearly basis as I reflect on the passing of time. Because repeat performances of painful experiences are not usually desired, when things get difficult, it’s natural to just want out. There is a time for walking away, and this is not about being doormats or martyrs either. This is about a willingness to submit as the Lord directs, trusting Him to give strength and grace to face whatever we might otherwise wish to just escape from. It won’t be easy, I’ve been there. But God is so very faithful. It’s worth wading through the high water to get what God has for you on the other side of the flood. When fleeing is all you can feel, when you don’t think you can go on, let Him find you where you are, lovingly confront you in your distress, and give you what you need to make it through. He may just ask you a couple of loaded questions to help.

“Where are you coming from?”
What is it exactly that I am trying to escape from? Is it fear, uncertainty, failure, heartache, mistreatment, unfair or unnecessary conflict? Am I feeling that it’s just too much for anyone to expect? Is it just too hard, too demanding? Is there anything I can do to make the situation better? Is there something I could do differently? What if God doesn’t want it to end just yet, can I trust Him? Will I trust Him?

“Where are you going?”
How does God expect me to handle things? What can I learn from this situation? In what ways can God use this to grow me, stretch my faith and increase my dependency on Him? What should I do while I’m waiting? What if this isn’t even about me, but God is using my situation to impact someone else? Are my responses and reactions honoring Him? Is it time for a change? Is a breakthrough or an open door about to happen?

Thank you Charlie the Appliance Guy!

It was taking a determined effort to keep my focus. It wasn’t just the little inconveniences that can crop up in a day, like the dryer going out; or the phone ringing off the hook; or the unexpected errand that has to be run that you just know is going to make dinner late. No, it was more than that. Whether it was the conversation overheard in the grocery line, the top news stories on the radio, the parent cursing and screaming at the child in the parking lot, the talk that came home with the kids from school, or scrolling through the cable guide for decent programming, everything seemed to scream that the wickedness all around me wasn’t going away. And today, well, I just felt like I was drowning in it.

I was just plain discouraged. Discouraged over choices a young person was making; it saddens me to see such a hard willfulness in anyone, but especially a young person. Discouraged with how easily people can take advantage of others; there’s just so much taking in this world and not enough giving. Discouraged with how quickly what is right can be replaced with, “what is necessary”; situational ethics are alive and well in this world. Discouraged that fear so often controls the decisions people make. Where is sound reasoning and responsible thinking rather than emotional impulsiveness? And believer, what about living by faith? Can God’s word and His ways be trusted or not?

I was having “an Elijah moment”…exhausted, ready to run and hide, feeling very alone in my desire to keep serving, keep loving, keep trying to make a difference for Christ’s sake. There were thoughts too, of those I knew were struggling, hurting, and facing serious situations. I was helpless and overwhelmed. And then, in came Charlie. Such a humble and pleasant man. No dilly-dallying around, but focused and prepared, his tool box in hand. There was a dryer that needed to be fixed and he was sure he could take care of it in a jiffy. Fixing things was his specialty, and fix it he did! As he was leaving, I don’t even remember what I said exactly, but he took a moment, pulled out a bench and sat down. He shared that he and his wife, a nurse, were headed to Haiti on a medical missions trip the next week. We started to share experiences and past trips we both had taken and what an impact they had made, perhaps in the lives of others, but most assuredly in our own lives! In just a few minutes I was refreshed, refocused, and ready to take on whatever was coming my way next.

God is so good. He loves me so much. Just when I was about to find a juniper tree of my own to crawl under (pity party), he sends Charlie the Appliance Guy by.

Plus, no more screeching dryer! How great is that?

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Having “an Elijah Moment” of your own (I Kings 19:4)? Here are a few biblical principles to debunk your funk.
1. Make sure you get the rest and nourishment you need physically; it might seem impossible given the demands but do what you can, and trust God to give you the strength you need to do what has to be done. (I Kings 19: 4-8)
2. Listen when God speaks, and remember that it may not be in the way you expected. He can meet you where you are and use whatever He chooses (or whomever; is there an appliance man at your door?) to help you refocus and be refreshed. (I Kings 19: 9-18)
3. Turn your attention to others. There may be someone you can encourage, teach, mentor, or simply come alongside of to support. You may not be able to “fix everything”, but they’ll know you care and are willing to help them be all God wants them to be. (I Kings 19: 19-21)
4. Keep praying and praising, not because you feel like it. You may not feel like it, but God wants to hear from you and He deserves your praise. It reaffirms your trust, and honors Him. (Psalms 13)