Just a Walk in the Park

Today, Rog and I took a time-out.  We grabbed a sub from Scheetz and headed to Grandview, an area national park.  Although we are out there quite often, especially with our guys from the ranch hiking trails, it has been years since it has just been the two of us to walk them together.  I commented while we ate, that as much as I love the beach, my beach in particular I call it, the Outer Banks of North Carolina, and as much as I miss it and think about it, I feel privileged to live here in West Virginia.  It’s a beautiful place year-round that God has allowed us to call home for these nearly twenty years now.   

Did I just say twenty years?  Most definitely.  Just one span of life events that have brought us to where we are today.  Days are so full, but I think we’ve learned, and continue to learn ways to pace ourselves and keep life in perspective. While strolling through a bargain outlet just yesterday, I picked up a little book on stress of all things!  One of its many insightful thoughts follows. 

                “Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things¹.”

 I find myself doing this a lot, especially on days like today when I can walk a trail with my hubby.  I don’t take that time for granted.  Moments like that are already a “big thing”, not something I’ll just look back on and remember how precious they were.  Here are a few of my “big things” just this week:

                enjoying the smell of puppy breath from our new Aussie pup Tilly and hearing the squeals from the grandchildren as they play together; 

               watching a sci-fi with Roger, Jordan, and a couple of our ranch guys that made me shriek and cover my eyes!  (who wants to see someone eaten by a giant mole-rat!);

                being startled, then awed as a deer crossed our path on our hike then stopped just feet away as if to give us a chance to just enjoy his graceful beauty;

                driving a winding country road with the windows down and the music up, eating ice cream and singing along to a favorite song.  

 Yet, I’ve had occasion to worry and fret.  What I didn’t mention was that also this week my son began his rigorous testing in preparation to give one of his kidneys to his son awaiting transplant.  My phone rang at 6:15 this morning.  Our oldest son was on the way to the hospital with his wife who is expecting their fourth child…she’s not due until October.  Our air conditioner went out and we were told today it would have to be replaced…at an estimated cost of around $3600.00.  I’ve spent time on the phone, and at the police station as a victim of credit card fraud, making sure that I don’t continue to be used to fund someone else’s vacation, shopping spree, new car!!  (Yes, application was made for a $12,000 draw against Capitol One Visa for a used car!) I’ve had Jordan at the doctor again, as I have repeatedly over the last month, this time for a ct scan, trying to determine the source of her health issue.  So, more time spent on the phone and visiting the doctor’s offices, both her regular doctor and now a specialist, the express clinic, the hospital, the diagnostic testing center, etc…only to wait for follow-up or more testing.  I continue to seek God for wisdom and patience in dealing with one of the most challenging groups of boys we’ve been blessed to minister to at the ranch, from their explosive anger to their disheartening apathy. 

Whether it’s chaos or concern, my heart immediately goes to prayer.  I pray because calm is not always my immediate reaction.  A confident rest in the knowledge that God is always in control is not always my immediate reaction.  As I lift the moment to God, I fret only a moment rather than hours or days, and that is a great victory for me.  I may have to take it (whatever it happens to be at the time) to Him over and over again as the power of human emotion settles over me and tries to fuel anxiety.  But that’s okay.  God meets me in my moment every time. 

Just a walk in the park? No, for me it was a great deal more.   And it came just in time, since we arrived home only to find that the dishwasher had died! 

 “…take your cares outdoors, breathe deeply of the fresh air, walk among tall trees, and lift your eyes upward.  You will quickly realize that no matter what obstacles you are facing, you and your worries are only a small part of the greater universe designed by our Creator².” 

 

Do you need a time-out?

 ¹Robert Brault; from Stress Less and Enjoy Each Day, David Zerfoss

²David Zerfoss; Stress Less and Enjoy Each Day

Anniversary Daze

Tomorrow marks the 10^th anniversary of a journey of love and commitment for our sons and their beautiful families.  In five short years we celebrated four weddings.  In a two week span, from May 22^nd to June 5^th, all four sons celebrate with their wives the day they were united before God to begin their journeys together.

As this time of year approaches I find myself taking a step back, reflecting on all the excitement, the joy, the chaos at times of these special family events and all that has resulted in these unions; the grandchildren, the expanded family that some may call inlaws, the shared friendships, the vacations!! (Hey, if they're going to live so far away, it's a bonus that it has been in some great vacation spots (Utah, Texas, Indiana, Georgia, Hawaii)!!  We are so blessed.  In Roger’s Wednesday Bible Study from II Samuel on the reign of David, I could say with the King of Israel in II Samuel 7:18:

           “Who am I, O Lord God? and what is my house, that thou hast brought me hitherto?”

The boys have faced their challenges, are facing them still, just like Rog and I have in our 34 years.  In fact, this year both Seth and Rebecca, and Aaron and Martha spent their anniversaries in the hospital with their precious children.  But when every day is a celebration of life and love and commitment, what’s an anniversary?  They each relish the moments they have to remember and enjoy their special days in their own unique ways.  I don’t always let them know how proud I am, how wonderful they are, how blessed I feel, but my heart swells to see them growing together in their love for each other, their families, and the Savior they all serve.  It is a joy I do not take for granted.  As these two weeks come and go, in often the same daze as then, I look back and laugh and cry and enjoy it all over again as only a doting mom can.  And I try to remember to at least acknowledge the day in some way or wish them a Happy Anniversary (they know their mother!)!

When so many long for a love that’s real and lasting, our house is full to overflowing, and I praise God.  Each individual family is now its own unit and unique.  We will fail each other from time to time, but it will make us stronger.  The closeness is intentional, it doesn’t just happen.  It’s about helping each other, praying for each other, talking to each other (some families don’t even do this!), hurting together, forgiving each other, working and serving together, supporting each other, laughing and crying together even thousands of miles apart…It’s a daze I have no desire to recover from!  

 

         HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO MY WONDERFUL SONS
                    AND THEIR BEAUTIFUL WIVES
                              Aaron & Martha - May 22 - 9 years
                                            Seth & Rebecca - May 24 - 5 years
                                      Daniel & Stephanie - May 31st - 10 Years
                                       Joshua & Christina - June 5th - 9 years

 

 

 

Ephraim's Nurse

I sat in church Sunday evening listening to my son, Daniel, preach.  He was speaking on the providence of God, and everything in me was straining to listen and grab hold in faith of this great Truth.  As the message from the book of Esther developed, I prayed silently the familiar words of scripture, “…for such a time as this.” We had received news that morning that the dialysis that had been so desperately avoided for our grandson was now inevitable.  Ephraim’s kidney was failing and without it, he would not make it to transplant.

God had so graciously sustained his little kidney so far.  Transplant was right around the corner; the first stage of testing already scheduled.  He would soon be four years old when they said he shouldn’t have lived.  So why dialysis now when it could be so detrimental to transplant readiness in the long run? I believe God is Sovereign, and that He is in control even in dark days, even when His children are in disobedience, just as Dan was sharing.  The timing of the message itself was providential.  I needed this reminder that my faithful and loving God was without a doubt still in control.  While my heart silently cried and prayed, God silently worked. 

 

In the book of Esther, God’s name is not mentioned but His silent work is undeniably evidenced.  And so we would see it be so with Ephraim.  The next day while Rebecca was with Ephraim, undergoing that first round of dialysis, our son Seth called to tell us about what he described as “an awesome God moment”.  I listened intently, curious but   grateful to hear the encouragement and excitement in his voice as he shared about Ephraim’s nurse.

On that same Sunday morning that I wrestled with the providence of God, another woman wrestled with God about going to church, knowing she should be worshipping and serving Him again.  Once the decision was made, the question remained as to where to attend.  She realized a church was meeting right across the street from her house in a school, and decided to try it.  At some point during the service, a blog was read by a young woman named Rebecca with a son named Ephraim that would soon be facing dialysis while waiting for a kidney transplant if God did not intervene.  Her ears perked up.  She was a dialysis nurse.  As the church brought this family before God, she joined in prayer for them even without knowing them.  What she did know was the ordeal dialysis could be.  The next morning when she arrived at work and was handed her chart, she was surprised to find that she had been assigned to none other than the little boy that she had prayed for.  When she met Rebecca, she pulled her aside and began to share this “no accident” incident.  Nurse Andrea would be right by Ephraim’s side for the duration. 

“Momma, God is still using Ephraim.  I know we didn’t want the dialysis to happen, but God did!” Seth explained.  “It’s going to be ok.” 

What had been so clouded was now profoundly clear!  God was right there, silently working in providence His sovereign will.  God was right there, in that room, holding Ephraim’s hand through a caring, providentially chosen, nurse.  He chose her for Ephraim, and Ephraim’s situation at this time was for her. 

I know I often underestimate God’s providence, but it is real and it is powerful.  In His sovereignty He is silently at work in the details of our lives. 

 

Just ask Ephraim’s nurse. 

 

 

A Child-like Faith

A friend (and co-worker) was sharing with her young son that our grandson Ephraim was going to be able to have his kidney transplant.  They have been faithfully praying for him all this time.  “Oh, thank God!” he exclaimed.  Then, in that precious child-like innocence he asked, “What is that, anyway?”

Lord, I want that kind of faith!   Children don’t have to know or understand; they just believe God.  And isn’t that what He has asked us to do, just trust Him?  Unfortunately, our idea of prayer and faith is often like a trip to visit Santa at the mall.  We have our list.  We’ve been good.  Why wouldn’t He make sure we get what we ask for? 

Scripture tells us that his ways are not ours, His plans are best*.  And even though that may be hard to accept, it’s best if we do.  And that is not just a pat answer.  It’s Truth.  God is so good and patient that even when we struggle with that, He understands and holds us in His hands.  And just like a loving parent with a trusting child, He won’t let go. 

“Lord I believe; help thou mine unbelief.”  Mark 9:24

 *Isaiah 55:8-9 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.  For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

Jeremiah 29:11 “I say this because I know what I am planning for you,” says the Lord. I have good plans for you, not plans to hurt you. I will give you hope and a good future.”  (NCV)

"Fruitful in the Land of my Affliction"

Our youngest son Seth and his wife Rebecca have been on an incredible journey.  Their oldest child, one of our precious grandchildren, Ephraim Josiah, was born with….wait, first things first…he was born, and he lived.  He lived beyond what anyone had thought possible from a medical perspective.  Ephraim will be four years old on the 18^th of May. 

What a bright, beautiful child he is.  He has been through so much in his four years.  God has seen fit to sustain him with very minimal kidney function.  And even though there have been surgeries and procedures, medications and treatments, he has survived major setbacks, and thrived.  Now it is clear and a decision has been made to begin moving him through processing for a kidney transplant.  Seth, his daddy, is the first donor candidate and will soon begin the process as well. 

Rebecca emailed me today with a preview of Ephraim’s logo with COTA (Children’s Organ Transplant Association) that will be ascribed with the message “fruitful in the Land of my affliction”.  My thoughts went immediately to the Scripture in Psalm 119.

“It is good for me that I have been afflicted; that I might learn Thy statutes.”  “I know, O Lord, that thy judgments are right, and that Thou in faithfulness hast afflicted me.  Let Thy merciful kindness be for my comfort.”  Ps. 119:71,75,76

Good? Good to be afflicted?  What a paradox.  But God specializes in those.  And I am so glad.  I would not want to even consider accepting the truth of it otherwise.  He is faithful, so I can trust Him.  I do that through faith, not dwelling on how I feel.  Knowing God is altogether Good, and that all He does He does with divine kindness that is beyond my ability to even understand, is the comfort that sustains. 

It is not just possible; being “fruitful in the land of my affliction” is a reality.  Ephraim is.  And he is not the only one.  God is great and God is good.  When we are confident that we are walking with Him, we can be confident He is with us in any and every affliction.  There are no accidents or mistakes with our loving Creator God and Savior, only divine appointments. 

Rest in Him.                                

 

 

Regrets, we all have them.

I opened my devotional this morning to read, “None of us can say that we have no regrets.”  Oh the weight of those words.  They ring so true.  Past sins, past failures, mistakes; words and actions we wish we could take back; things we wish now we had never done; things we wish we had done differently.  If we dwell on these things though, it can crush us, keep us discouraged and defeated as we try to live this life of faith. 

 But God…don’t you just love those words?  I do.  They are two that are most precious to me.

                “But God who is rich in mercy” (Eph 2:4);

                “But God meant it for good”( Ex 50:20);

                “But God shall be with you” (Ex 48:21);

                “But God is the strength of my life and my portion forever” (Ps 73:26);

                “But God commended His love toward us in that, while we were yet sinners Christ

                                 died for us” (Rom 5:8);

                “But God is faithful” (I Cor 10:13).

 

I can do nothing about my past regrets but give them to God in repentance and faith.  He promises to forgive and cleanse.  Yes there are often consequences to handle, “but God"!  He does not leave us to walk alone.  When others might say, “you made your bed now go lie in it!”, Jesus says, “take up your bed and walk!”  Living in regret will cripple. 

Instead of saying “if only”, get in the habit of saying “but God”!  He heals, He forgives, He restores!  Instead of allowing discouragement and defeat to keep you bound to the past, claim God’s promises for a bright and beautiful future. 

With Christ, life’s a beautiful thing!

               

'Streams in the Desert'

It was December of 1986, my last ladies Bible study. Shortly after Christmas we would be packing for the move we would make in January. So much had changed in those few years since coming to New York; Rog and I had changed. God had grown us, stretched us, and brought us to the realization that He had plans for our future that we would never have dreamed of. This small group of ladies had become so dear. I was the young wife and mother in the bunch, and they had mentored and encouraged me in ways I had not expected.

It was here I began to write for our church newsletter. It was here I began to lead the Ladies Bible Study. It was here I began to teach Sunday School and work with the teens and children in the church and Christian School. It was here I began to reach out into the community, visiting families and bringing their children to church on a church bus. I was like a sponge, soaking up all these godly women were pouring into me. The foundation had actually been laid earlier in Virginia with a Bible study I was involved in there, but it was in Saratoga Springs that I began to put into practice some of the things I had begun to understand about what it meant to really live for Christ.

As we sat around the table that snowy December morning in my friend’s kitchen, there were mixed emotions. Some people have lived in one area their entire lives. They live and work and worship with many of the same friends and family they have grown up with and known all their lives. I’m beginning to get a sense of what that is like. We have been here in West Virginia now going on 20 years! We have strong ties and bonds here now. And I enjoy this, seeing the roots go ever deeper as the years pass. But I also treasure the memories of these earlier days in my “growing up years”, spiritually speaking, as a young wife and mother. Roger had not long come to the realization that God’s desire for him was to serve as a preacher, and probably as a pastor. That of course meant that I would be a pastor’s wife!! Not in a million years would I have seen myself in that role just a few short years prior. There was much education and training before us, but after much prayer and counsel we were convinced of the direction we would be going. I was excited, but yet overwhelmed with thoughts of where this decision might take us. But God had prepared us and brought us to this point; He was going before us, and we were embarking on this journey together as a family.

Our goodbyes said in the midst of hugs and tears, we prayed together, and they prayed for me and Rog and our young family, that God’s hand of blessing would be on us. Lynn Greene, one of these sweet ladies, then gave me a gift that I use to this day. It was a copy of Mrs. Charles E. Cowman’s Streams in the Desert, a daily devotional, now a classic. How many times have the Scriptures and the articles in this collection brought to me ‘a word in due season’…at crucial times in my walk with the Lord, ups, downs, highs, lows. Even though I have used a number of devotionals through the years (in fact, I collect them!) I would find myself going back to this one over and over again on some certain, some random days. The wisdom of saints in these pages! Men and women that have gone before me that have seen the faithfulness of God in so many ways, it just always speaks volumes to me. I also will often read the note Lynn wrote to me in the front cover:


Dear Angela,
May the Lord bless you and your Bible Study. May he continue to use you in the lives of other
ladies. May He be with you and help you to uplift your husband an d family in His great work for
the Lord. May you in “all ways acknowledge Him and he will direct your path.”
Love In Him,
Lynn Green, Ps 107:29


With the Lord’s great grace and His enablement, I am trying to continue to do this, Lynn! God’s Word is even more a treasure to me now than it was then. I continue to make myself available to other ladies both old and young to encourage and teach and minister with (though I am still learning so much from so many!); I continue to strive to be the help my husband needs as a loving, supportive wife; my children and my grandchildren are still my priority and my joy to love and serve; and I continue to trust the Savior to guide and direct my every step. He has directed our paths to this point and I know He will be faithful to see us safely to His desired place for us as we keep following hard after Him.

And that Streams I was given? It is still a favorite and a faithful companion, not only in my devotional time, but any time I need the wealth of wisdom and inspiration it provides.

I leave you with some of my favorite thoughts from its pages. BE BLESSED!



The problem of getting great things from God is being able to hold on for the last half hour.-----selected
March 5, on Hebrews 3:14

He has kept you hitherto; do you but hold fast to His dear hand, and He will lead you safely through all things; and when you cannot stand, He will bear you in His arms. ----J. Hudson Taylor, February 8.

“Moses drew near unto the thick darkness where God was” (Ex. 20:21). God has still His hidden secrets, hidden from the wise and prudent. Do not fear them; be content to accept things that you cannot understand; wait patiently. Presently He will reveal to you the treasures of darkness, the riches of the glory of the mystery. Mystery is only the veil of God’s face. Do not be afraid to enter the cloud that is settling down on your life. God is in it. ----selected; March 14