Where is God when I need Him?

Exodus 17:7  “Is the Lord here with us or not?” (NLT)

You begin a new venture, confident of the Lord’s direction.  You make some serious decisions, a change in direction, and it is awesome to see how God works even in the details, putting it all together.  He used His Word to open your eyes and heart to something new or different that He wanted to do in your life.  As you prayed and sought clarity and peace, He made it so clear through circumstances, counsel, and a dozen other ways, that He was leading.  Yes it would be a jump, a dive into the deep end so to speak, a leap of faith.  But you were going with God, so it would be ok!  You head out, and God is doing some pretty cool stuff!

Then, you hit the first snag, the bump in the road. Things start to get hard, a little cloudy.  Before you know it you’re experiencing a full-blown storm, a dark and turbulent time.  

LET ME ENCOURAGE YOU.  Don’t let the first question of your hurting heart be, “Is the Lord here with us or not?”  This is a faith walk, a journey of trust.  And believe me, God is right there.  

This faith walk was something new for the children of Israel.  Moses definitely had his hands full leading this bunch out of Egypt.  They had seen the greatest works of God this side of creation,  “God’s mighty hand” at work on their behalf; He delivered them from their bondage,  heard the cries of their hearts, the woeful prayers for help.  But after a short stint in the desert heat, they were lamenting before Moses that they would be better off having stayed in Egypt (as slaves, being treated horrendously!).  They were without water.  It was a serious dilemma.  They would most definitely die without it.  So naturally they wondered...and verbalized expressly to Moses...WHERE WAS GOD!?  If He had truly led them out of Egypt, performed all those great and powerful acts, for them, then where was He now?  Would He rescue them from injustice, cruel mistreatment, slave labor, and certain death when Egypt’s army pursued them, hold back the waters of the Red Sea making a pathway of escape, just to allow them to perish in the desert for lack of water?  

Maybe they didn’t follow that same thought process.  Maybe all they could think about was the present reality.  The need was real.  The immediate circumstance was pressing in on them so all thoughts of the future and a purpose in their problem may have left them.  They needed a reminder that He was in fact there. And God showed Himself very real and very powerful and very present, again.  He provided water, in the desert, from a rock.

God help us not to shrink in the shadows of uncertainty, not to abandon all thoughts of your goodness and greatness when we can’t see You, can’t feel You, can’t understand what or why.  Help us never to doubt your sweet presence, your powerful presence.  Remind us how clear things were in the beginning, how strong the sense of direction and decision.  Help us trust you completely, and calmly wait while you work, until once again there is no doubting this was a God-thing!

Where is God?  He’s right where He has always been...where you are.  

it's just like God

It’s just like God to do what He says He will do.  It’s Who He is; it’s His character.  He is faithful; He can be trusted.  

When the Lord Himself visited Abraham, as recorded in Genesis 18 and told him that Sarah would bear him a son in his old age, Sarah had trouble believing it.  And she heard it first hand!  She was inside the tent and overheard the conversation.  Her reaction?  She laughed.  It was one of those “are-you-kidding-me?” kind of laughs.  It didn’t make sense!  First, she couldn’t see herself at her age, with Abraham, at his age, “having pleasure”.  And even if they enjoyed the intimacy of husband and wife “at their age”, she was well past the age of child-bearing.  She was 90, and Abraham 100 years old.  

We can all relate to Sarah. After all, it was a pretty incredible, hard-to-believe promise.  But it was a promise, a promise from God no less!  But our reactions are often like hers.  You read in God’s Word to forgive.  Well, that’s fine and good, but does He really expect that in “my situation?” And He promises to forgive us if we forgive others; He promises His peace and strength if we do.  But really?  It doesn’t make sense.  How does forgiveness free me, heal me, make me stronger?  You’re right.  It doesn’t make sense.  No more than a 90 year old woman having a baby.  It doesn’t make sense.  It’s just true.  

I read in the Word to give, and not just give out of my abundance but to give beyond my ability to see how, if I give what I really need for myself, how my own needs will be met.  It doesn’t make sense.  No, it’s just true.  And then there’s the “love your enemies” thing.  How in the world does showing love to someone that I know hates me make any difference at all?  What does it change?  It changes me.  It changes my perspective.  I am the better and stronger person for it.  But that doesn’t make sense either.  It’s just true.  And the rewards are real, just like God promises.  

    “And the Lord visited Sarah as He had said, and the Lord did unto Sarah as

    He had spoken.”  Genesis 21: 1

In other words, God did just what He promised.  Sarah did indeed get pregnant, and she had Abraham’s son, Isaac, the son of promise.  “Is anything too hard for the Lord?” the messenger asked in Genesis 18.  No, nothing is too hard for the Lord.  It’s just too hard for us to believe sometimes.  But’s that’s ok.  The fact that we may have difficulty believing doesn’t change God’s faithfulness to His Word.  It may keep you from benefiting from the blessing of believing His promises if you can’t just take Him at His Word, but He won’t fail in the reality of those promises.  

So the next time you come across a promise in God’s Word and the reality of it just doesn’t make sense, just ask for help to accept it as the Truth it is.  Start living it out.  Put it into practice and see what God does with it. It may seem laughable at first.  But Sarah saw God’s incredible promise fulfilled.  So can you.  

Because it’s just like God to make good on a promise.  

Weeds

They had been blooming all summer and into fall, and they were pretty.  At least I thought they were, even if no one else did.  Especially when they were smaller, with those bright purple petals and darker purple and yellow centers.  But now they were large and growing on both sides of the steps down from the porch.  It was now December, in southern West Virginia, and they were still blooming!  But they were weeds, starting to look more like weeds, kinda scraggly, thin and faded, and taking over the bed.  And to Makenzie, my 11 year old granddaughter, the fact that I had let them grow to this size without removing them from the flower bed, well, it raised some questions in her mind.  

I was coming back to the house after being out in the pasture helping my hubby with some fencing.  Makenzie was coming out.  “Why haven’t you pulled up these weeds, Grammy? she asked. “They’re like monsters now.”  “WelI,” I answered, “I thought they were pretty, and they didn’t seem to be bothering anything.” After discussing the situation a few more minutes, I decided with her help to go ahead and pull them out, a fairly simple task that shouldn’t take long.  Well, that was before I started tugging at the roots and realized they went down pretty deep. But it had to come out now.  I had made such a mess.  So I bent over, gripped with both hands, dug in my heels and pulled even harder, and then it gave way.  The next thing I knew I was tumbling backwards over the large rocks that defined the bed, landing on my backside, feet up in the air, dirt flying.  Kenzie was trying to decide if I was really hurt, and having trouble not laughing.  

No, I was not terribly hurt.  A couple of scrapes, moderate bruises, and I was a bit sore the next morning, but I’d live.  And the weeds had been taken care of.  But the process had been a bit painful, and I got dirty.  

I faced a hurt this week that brought this little tussle with a weed to mind.  Hurts can cause a root of bitterness to start its descent into the depths of the heart, and I knew what the Scripture says about a root of bitterness.  It can find a place in the heart, and like those weeds, if it is not taken care of can do damage both to one’s self and others.  Things might look pretty good on the surface, but down deep, the longer the root remains, the stronger the grip grows.  Before long, if not dealt with, it will hinder positive growth all around. Your relationship with God and with others will suffer, keeping you from having the close, loving relationships with others you should have. Peace will escape you, and worst of all, it will keep you from experiencing God’s grace.  God’s grace will always be available, but a root of bitterness will keep you from being able to know it’s reality at work in your life.   

    “Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God.  Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.”  Hebrews 12:15

I don’t know about you, but I need God’s grace at work in and through me...lots of it!  Amazing Grace...it’s not just a song.  His grace gives me a reason to get out of bed and face myself in the mirror when I have failed miserably.  His grace comforts me and pulls me out of the pit of sadness when all I want to do is cry.  His grace woos me with song, and builds joy back into my soul, when I just want to hide away.  His grace gently reminds me that Jesus has been in the pit, and He endured it for me!  He loves me (when others may not). He accepts me (when others may not). He has a purpose for me on a daily basis (when others may make me feel insignificant or dispensable), and that great purpose is to know Him and love Him more.  It’s to live to honor Him.  He is worth it, and makes my life worth it.  So when the bitterness tries to creep in, I go to Him with a resolve to rid myself of it.  I don’t want anything to keep me from “receiving the grace of God” when I would need it most.  So I give it to Him and I commit to doing what He says I must do in order to see the root destroyed…

    forgive;

    pray;

    confess;

    make changes;

    love unconditionally, like He does.

Digging that root out can be painful, but grace unfettered awaits!  I’m not saying it will be easy; you might just end up on your backside in the dirt!  

But it’s so worth it.  

Sitting in Darkness

I had been struggling for some time with the dark cloud that had been trying to envelop me.  Then on Christmas Eve Eve...you know, the day before Christmas Eve, it only took one comment in a conversation to take me over the edge.  And there I was, sinking deeper into the hole than I already was.  All of sudden it was just too much for me.  I was tired of fighting it off, and just tired, period.  All I wanted to do was get home to my bed and bury myself in it.  And I did.  

Between periods of sleep and tears, my mind went back to a verse of Scripture that I had highlighted in my thru-the-Bible daily reading from Micah on December 21st.  Something about falling, and darkness, and the enemy.  It was talking about me.  

    “Rejoice not against me , O mine enemy; when I fall, I shall arise; when I sit in darkness, the Lord shall be a light unto me...He will bring me forth to the light, and I shall behold His righteousness.”  Micah 7: 8-9

I slept until time for our candlelight service.  I didn’t want to go, did not feel like going, but I did what I always do, I keep going, I push through because I’ve learned I’m better for it. The sleep and the prayerful tears, had strengthened me a bit.  The heaviness was weighing on me physically now though as it normally does after a while; headache, weak knees, tender muscles.  But I managed to begin the service with an opening carol on the piano, then sat down.  While Rog (my husband) spoke about the Light that had come into the world of darkness, giving us Christmas, I wandered back to the verse I had seen in Micah.  I knew the enemy was rejoicing against me.  I couldn’t pull myself out of the dark pit.  And I didn’t want to go any deeper.  I had already been struggling for months.  And it was Christmas for heaven’s sake!  I really wanted to be able to enjoy this time with my family.  I wanted to be able to worship unhindered and undistracted.  Sometimes I could do things that would help….rest, watch what I eat, and always I stay in my Bible.  Even when I read it and don’t remember what I’ve read, even if it’s just a verse, even if I just hold it and pray for God to bring it to memory when I don’t have it in me to read it...always, His Word is my stay.  

This time was no different. I was just unable to see the depression lift this time before I slipped deeper still into the dark hole. It was suffocating me, but I held on.  I kept going over and over the verses in Micah, and just thanking God for His love for me.  I knew He was holding me even in the darkness.  So regardless of how long it lasted or where it took me, He was with me.  He was going to bring me out to the Light again in His time.  His Word promised it.  

On Christmas Eve Roger and I were to go on cottage at the children’s home where we work.  We would just be there overnight.  I had slept most of the day. I tried to eat a bit of dinner since I had eaten nothing since our breakfast on the 23rd.  When I walked in, something broke.  By the time we were getting into bed I knew it was lifting.  I was exhausted, but excited because I knew God was working.  Christmas day would be different!  

The next morning Rog and I were up early, before the scheduled med time.  One of the girls, seeing me come from the kitchen with a cup of coffee, came to me for a hug after getting her meds, before heading back to bed.  She was struggling too, and I knew she was in somewhat of a dark hole herself, primarily of her own doing.  I asked if I could share a verse of Scripture that had helped me, and she said yes.  I shared Micah 7:8-9 and told her I was praying that she would be able to let Jesus be a light for her in her darkness.  We talked for a bit, and she was able to go lie down again. By the time we were leaving, I knew His light in me was getting stronger again.  Christmas would be merry and bright.  

My depression has been a lifelong struggle.  I’ve learned to manage it with the Lord’s help when I have an onset, but it never goes away completely.  It just hides for a while.  I’m just extremely grateful that in my darkest moments Christ has been there to comfort me, keep me from doing harm to myself, give me strength and resolve to not give up in despair, hope to hang on with confidence in His promises, and to give me joy, the deep ever-present joy of knowing Jesus loves me, has not and never will abandon me in my darkness and helplessness, keeps me safe in Him, and always brings me back.  

Sitting in darkness is only a reminder of how bright and beautiful my Savior’s light really is.  

December 26, 2015

Mad River Dash

“And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts….”

 

On Wednesday, I made a mad dash to the river over my lunch break.  As I was driving to “my spot” I just thanked the Lord that I live in such a beautiful place and that I worked closely enough to the river to be able to do this.  I pulled off and parked, rolled down the window and just listened and prayed.    The sound of the wind rustling through the trees, and the water rushing over the rocks was soul soothing.  It’s not “my beach”, but it’s a close second!  I was emotional, “worked up” over some things, letting myself get overwhelmed and out of sorts.  If I was going to get through the rest of the day and see it be productive…without snapping someone’s head off…I needed to seek out the Lord’s calm and help.   And just like God, He met me there.  I then took a few moments to renew my mind with some Scripture…thankful I had a signal on my phone and could pull up my Bible app!  I reflected back on my devotional reading from that morning then, it was back to work.   By the end of the day, I was surprised at how refreshed I was! 

 

But here I am again this morning…4:30 a.m. morning…once again seeking His peace.  That’s what happens when you go to bed with a troubled heart.  So when I opened my Bible app it didn’t surprise me to see this verse for the day from Colossians.  In fact, it made me smile.  For the second time this week, God was meeting me where I was and redirecting my focus back to Him, my Peace.  And not at the river this time, but in the quiet of my living room. 

 

There are so many things (and sometimes they’re big things) that happen in the course of a day that wear on my emotions.  And that’s most of my problem.  My emotions are like a roller coaster, and some days they take a huge hit.  At least now as I’ve grown in my walk with Christ, they’re more like the kiddy roller coasters.  The dips and turns aren’t nearly as huge!  But they still show up, because I feel things very deeply.  Those closest to me say “it’s the passion coming out”.  Passionate, that’s a nice way to put it I suppose!  I know that about myself and I’ve worked to temper the intensity because it’s usually misunderstood. I’ve come to accept that my strong personality is not always appreciated or understood.  So I’ve adapted, and it’s in these moments when I’m struggling with the side of me that may “come on strong” that I need God most.  It’s also especially difficult and awkward to try to explain why you are suddenly a bundle of tears.  I’d rather not.

 

Keeping my emotions in check is not a natural trait for me.  I also know it is best and right to allow the Spirit of God to control my emotions rather than allow them to control me.  People are a lot less likely to get hurt this way, and I enjoy life more.  My focus cannot be on how I feel because feelings are unstable and changing.  I do not make decisions based on how I feel.  I make decisions based on what is right because I may not always “feel” like doing the right thing.  Plus, I want “an others” focus, not a self-focus for my life, like Jesus. 

 

“Don’t worry about anything; instead pray about everything.  Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done.  Then you will experience God’s peace which exceeds anything we can understand.  His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus”  (Phil 4: 7, NLT). 

 

So maybe this takes a mad dash to the river every once in a while.  But it’s worth it to experience the peace that really does surpass my understanding. 

 

Me and my crazy dog.

I was so exasperated!  My beautiful but insanely crazy Australian Shepherd was draining me of energy and my normal critter compassion.  My patience was wearing thin and I was so close to a trip to the pound.  “And I chose you!” I yelled.  No sooner were the words out of my mouth and I felt the pang in my gut that said, “God’s not happy with that!”

Yes, I had chosen her.  She was so cuddly and cute as a puppy.  And the thought of her staying one more minute in that crowded, hot pet store crate seemed cruel.  Roger had been looking into the breed for a while and was surprised to actually find one in the store.  We went in there pretty often and had never seen one.  When he took me over to see her it was love at first sight.  She wasn’t your typical Aussie.  No, she was a White!  Blue eyes, a few brown and gray spots on her ear and hind legs, and a pink nose, beautiful!  We also knew she would be full of energy and would need lots of wide open space to run free.  This was not the dog for an apartment dweller, so we were sure the farm would be the perfect place for her.  

But she was older now and wreaking havoc around the house, scaring the grandkids, chasing the animals.  Our work situation was such that we weren’t home very much, and because she was so difficult to handle she spent a lot of time either on a chain or in her crate.  It brought me to tears knowing she was having to live this way.  I began praying that she’d calm down, that I’d see some change as she got older.  A friend prayed with me when I got to work one morning in tears.  Roger always said he wouldn’t have a critter that he wouldn’t pray for! 

When I heard myself yelling at her that day, I could immediately hear the Lord saying the same thing about me.  He chose me.  He drew me to Himself.  He rescued me.  And how often He must be exasperated with me in my stubbornness!  How patient He had been with me over the years, teaching me, growing me, loving me.  Tilly needed my loving attention and determined teaching, not my anger and exasperation. 

I quickly thanked the Lord for the “slap on the face”, reminding me of His grace and patience, and began praying about an intentional plan of action for me and my crazy dog.  I had read in my research that as a working breed they needed to feel useful or they are miserable.  It had escaped me that I needed to find ways to help her feel like she had a purpose other than being cute and cuddly.  So, I set out to get some things that would help me accomplish this with her.  Then, I established a routine so that she would know what to expect.  It would be her time to be with us.  Our work situation had recently changed, so this was now going to be possible on a daily basis!  It’s just like God to concern Himself with the things that matter so much to us!  And if it didn’t work out, I’d love her regardless and have no regrets. 

In just a short period of time she has become such a loving and good dog.  Her excitement still gets the best of her at times, but it’s not frightening to the children or destructive, and it’s quickly reigned in as she learns to listen more and more.  My crazy dog and I have learned some things.  So thankful God is patient with me, ever teaching, ever loving me closer to Himself. 

Yes, I chose Tilly.  And it makes my heart glad. 

Are You Listening to Me?

“And the Lord God said…”  Genesis 2:18

The LORD GOD said [bold, caps, underlined…emphasis mine!]

It’s a brand new year!  If you’re reading this, we’re off on yet another adventure.  We have been given one more day to LISTEN!  If there is one thing I want to do this year, it is hear what the Lord God says.

I finished a different through-the-Bible plan this year with a Promise Bible my hubby purchased for me last Christmas while visiting our oldest son and his family.  Every day, I was drawn to it like a magnet.  I didn’t always get to read each daily segment, but I was so conscious of it when I didn’t, so wanting to “catch up” or, not wanting to get too far behind.  We ended this year on a trip also, a whirlwind kid/grandkid tour starting in Atlanta with our youngest son and his fam, stopping back in WV overnight to hear our second son preach and spend a “Christmas evening” with them. Then it was on to Indiana to see the oldest and his fam.  We brought the New Year in with the number- 3 son and his fam in Philadelphia.  Since I had my Promise Bible with me, ending 2014, I started over on the first of 2015.  These beginning chapters in Genesis were so familiar.  But there were certain words and phrases that just kept grabbing my attention: God created; the Spirit of God moved; God saw; God divided; God called; God said; God made;  God set them; God blessed them; God ended His work.  Then, all of a sudden a change occurs in chapter 2 verse 4.  It now begins to say, “the LORD God made”; the LORD God formed; the LORD God planted; the LORD God commanded; the LORD God caused; the LORD God said. 

The powerful Creator God became personal, intimate. 

The name “LORD God” was so intimate that the Jewish tradition did not allow for it to be spoken.  We know it as Yahwey, Jehovah.  Too holy to voice, too sacred to even spell, it was YHWY. But not only did God the Creator perform all these wonderful acts, He desired from the beginning to communicate with His creation.  And He has not stopped.  After all, what is a relationship without communication??  And what would our world be without words, spoken or written?  God is all about words.  In fact, He is the Word ("In the beginning was the Word, the Word was with God and the Word was God," John 1:1).  He is speaking.  The problem is that we’re not listening. 

Yes, the Scripture is familiar to me.  I have read it all my life.  I have made it a point to learn it, memorize it, and apply its Truth.  Maybe for you it is new, maybe a bit overwhelming.  Maybe you are doubting its relevance in our world today or intimidated or even angered by its authoritative nature.  Regardless, God has spoken.  He is the great Creator God, the LORD God, and He wants us to hear what He has to say.  It matters.  Whether it is a passage of Scripture you have read a hundred times, or you have just read it for the first time, it is now a part of you and it is alive and powerful.  It can change you, cheer you, encourage you, guide you, teach you, correct you, instruct you, empower you, help you, heal you, save you.  JUST LISTEN! 

“Did you hear the words coming out of my mouth?!”  I’ve said that from time to time to one of my boys or one of the many God has given me to care for, when I just knew that somewhere between the words leaving my mouth and being put into action, they just got lost!  The connection was never made between what I had just said and what they had just heard.  It was obvious that even though they heard what I said, they did not listen!  Listening involves more than just hearing.  Until there is impact or action there is no listening. 

The LORD God has spoken people, and I want to listen, more now than ever before.  I want it to penetrate my heart and life, bringing me into an even deeper understanding of His grace, His power, His love.  And I want to act on it in abandon, letting it work itself out in my every deed. I hope you do too.  It could make all the difference in how 2015 plays out.   

 

HAPPY NEW YEAR!