Asswaged!

"And God remembered Noah, and every living thing, and all the cattle that was with him in the ark..." Genesis 8:1a

The floodgates opened, just as God had said they would.  There they were, Noah and his family and all the animals that God had instructed him to bring onto the ark...together, stuck on that boat!  Not for days, not for weeks, but months!  Over a year actually. 

But they were on the boat.  God remembered Noah.  In obedience and faith Noah built the ark "to the saving of his family".   All those that scoffed at it were lost in the deluge. 

Some days I find myself whining about some situation Rog and I are dealing with, whether it's at home with the farm, at the church, a family concern, or our job at the ranch.  Sometimes I am fearful and anxious about how something will turn out.  Satan would have me think we're all stuck on this boat and it's gonna go down!

But it's not.  God's got this. 

"and God made a wind to pass over the earth and the waters asswaged," Gen. 8:1b

Asswaged!  Is that an awesome word? (Gotta love the KJV)  The wind blew, and the waters began to recede.  Emphasis on began.  The waters did not disappear overnight.  They had to ride it out for quite some time.  But when the wind blew something began to happen.  Even before they could see evidence of the waters going down, it was.  They did not know where they would eventually land, but Noah was confident it would be safe and completely dry! 

I can have that same confidence.  God is that way.  He begins working and I don't often see it or recognize any change.  But it soon becomes clear that He is definitely at work.  I just have to be patient and "ride it out", knowing that I will safely land. 

God remembers. 

Dressed and Draped

“I am overwhelmed with joy in the Lord my God! For He has dressed me with the clothing of salvation, and draped me in a robe of righteousness.”  Isaiah 61:10

 He has dressed me.

My granddaughters are at the age that they enjoy dressing their dolls.  In fact, two of the younger ones enjoy dressing up everything…, themselves, stuffed animals, the dog…!  And they want everyone to see how BEAUTIFUL their “dirls” look (that’s three year old Lily talk for ‘girls’) with EVERY outfit!  Such fun. 

I get overwhelmed easily.  I write quite a bit about being overwhelmed.  But this overwhelmed is a good thing!  It’s being overwhelmed with joy in the Lord, my God.  Let’s break it down.

Overwhelmed ---with JOY!

Overwhelmed with joy ----IN THE LORD!

Overwhelmed with joy in the Lord MY GOD!

Why?? What has me overwhelmed?

He has dressed me.
HE…THE LORD MY GOD…has dressed me.
He has dressed me with THE CLOTHING OF SALVATION!
He has draped me in a ROBE OF RIGHTEOUSNESS. 

Thinking of my God delighting in dressing me the way my granddaughters delight in dressing their dolls just gave me a whole new perspective on this truth.  I know salvation is of the Lord.  It is definitely more about Him than it is about me, I just enjoy the benefits of His great salvation.  But thinking of how it delights the Father to dress me in His clothing of salvation, to imagine Him draping me with His robe of righteousness, well, it does something to me. 

I remember the way my Dad looked at me on my wedding day, seeing me standing there in Mama and Daddy’s bedroom in my gown.  He teared up and couldn’t say much, just that I was beautiful, that he loved me, and that I would always be his little girl.  Then, “It’s time to go.”  He may not even remember it.  It was 35 years ago, but I remember it still.  It brings a smile to my face, and when he is gone it will likely bring a tear to my eye, and overwhelm me with joy. 

That’s sort of what I felt when I read this verse and really gave it some thought, picturing a loving Father embracing me with His love this way.  I am overwhelmed with joy.  The Lord my God has personally clothed me with His salvation and draped me in His robe of righteousness.  Maybe you don’t have that kind of relationship with an earthly father; you can’t picture this kind of tender moment.  I’m sorry.  But I want you to know that God loves you that way.  He aches to have you experience the depth of that kind of love, one that would get personally involved in your life, and give you of Himself all He has to offer.  Believe me, once you grasp it, it with overwhelm you with joy too. 

 

 

 

Overwhelmed, or Overshadowed

 “There are times in our lives when a death, a tragedy, or a sudden turn of events eclipses everything else.  It happened to an unmarried young woman who was told that she would become the mother of the promised Messiah, God’s Son (Luke 1:26-33)…The impossibility in Mary’s life was overshadowed not by darkness but by the brightness of God’s glory and power.  Her response continues to leave us in awe:  Let it be to me according to your word..v. 38.  Overshadowed…it speaks so powerfully of the Lord’s presence in our hearts and His ability to outshine the darkest moments.”  (excerpt from Our Daily Bread, November 22, 2013)

And here I was, thinking I was overwhelmed --and I have been recently.  But after reading this devotional and seeing the emphasis on ‘overshadowed’, I was flooded with gratitude.  Not for being overwhelmed.  That feeling is my own doing, a reaction to everything going on in my life lately.  But grateful to know that while I am feeling overwhelmed, I have also been overshadowed.  My great and gracious Father has overshadowed me with His love, His forgiveness, His help, His presence.  He also used people He has in my life right now to get my attention and remind me there is a better way than all that being overwhelmed can bring out in me. 

 
However deep the new low can go, he has shown me that His love is deeper. 

Overshadowed.  Isn’t it amazing the impact of one little word?  Rather than give in to being overwhelmed, I determine to remember that I am overshadowed.  And hopefully my “record low” will never be broken again.  If it was up to me, I’d be “overwhelmed” with even the thought of that possibility. I know my weaknesses, my tendencies.   But, because of Him…well, it’s definitely possible.  So I start today working towards that goal once again, of not allowing the circumstances of life, the overwhelmed feelings, to control me.  I will not focus on whether or not I will fail again, but on Jesus. 

 

For with God nothing will be impossible” Luke 1:37 

 

 

Jesus You Are Near

For in Him we live and move and have our being.  Acts 17:28

This is one of my favorite verses of scripture.  It says it all.  I am nothing, He is everything.  He is the giver of life.  I cannot bring life into existence; I cannot take life away.  That is within the life-giving power of His great hands.  If I, or anyone, has life, it is because of Him.

This prayer by Gwen Ford Faulkenberry confesses that very thought:

             “Jesus You are nearer than my next breath.  You never take Your eyes off me.  Every moment of my day I am held in Your nail-scarred hands.  Since nothing comes into my life that doesn’t’ pass through You first, help me Lord, to trust in You.”

So, knowing and believing the very truth of His Word, that we live and move and have our being in Him, I have no problem understanding or accepting that my next breath comes from Him.  But to read these words in light of the past few months, the past few days…”Jesus, You are nearer than my next breath.” I could only sigh, and say “oh God” in humble gratitude.

Dr. Jernigan, Ephraim's pediatrician/nephrologist
with him since before he was born

Veronica, Ephraim's living donor

How near He has been, giving us wisdom and moving us forward as we pursued the purchase of the farm…Hope Springs (and it does!); how near He has been enabling me to trust Him when everything in me wanted to crumble at the thought of my grandson going on dialysis when his kidney failed…it just wasn’t what I had planned for him and my son and his wife to have to go through.  They had already gone through so much in the last four years.  But oh how God has been glorified in his little life these last four years.  God chose to breathe life into him against all odds, and has sustained him to this point.  On this past Thursday, October 24, Ephraim was given a chance at life again as God provided “the perfect kidney” through another of His dear children, Veronica Shelton. 

 

 

In Him we live and move and have our being.  It is true.  We have lived it, especially in this last week.  On Saturday, October 26, our oldest son and his wife gave birth to their fourth beautiful baby, a girl…Madalyn Kate…our 15^th grandchild!  Just one more great and gracious testimony to the truth that God is the great Life-giver.  It couldn’t have come at a more precious time.  When Christina became pregnant, no one had any idea that Ephraim would have this transplant as late as October.  In May, when he had to go on dialysis we prayed it wouldn’t be long.  But it was as long as it needed to be, and God saw fit to have these two life-giving events in our family coincide.  

 

 

 

Elisha with his dad, Aaron who had the
pleasure of baptizing him.

And the icing on the on the cake??  The ultimate event to attest to God’s great life-giving nearness? Another grandson, six year old Elisha called on the way home from church to share some awesome news!  “Grammy, I got baptized today!”  He had called some time ago to tell us he had given his heart to Jesus.  But now, to be baptized?  He had given ample indication of his understanding and desire to show everyone, being obedient and sealing this decision, that he now belonged to Jesus.  Gratitude swelled!!  Glory, and God be praised! 

 

There will be a few more bumps in the road I am sure as we travel along.  But life is so good!  And with God, the great Life-giver, it is great! 

 

My Beloved

You are nearer…

Than the sun that pours through my window at dawn,

Warming me, waking me--inviting me into the new day.

You are nearer…

Than the cool water that I splash on my face

Tingling and sparkling in my skin…refreshing me.

You are nearer…

Than the outside air and the wind that blows

Through my hair--awakening my soul

To the beauty around me and the beauty of life.

You are nearer…

Than the gentle warmth

Of the firelight--softening, illuminating, and soothing

You give me satisfaction and peace

At the end of a day well spent

And, when my head falls softly onto the pillow at night

You are nearer…

Than the moon and stars above me,

Watching over me,

Lighting the world.

Jesus, You are nearer than my next breath.

You never take Your eyes off me.

Every moment of my day I am held in Your nail-scarred hands.

Since nothing comes into my life that doesn’t pass through You first,

Help me, Lord, to trust in You.

                                                                        Gwen Ford Falkenberry, Jesus Be Near Me

 

 

Birthdays, and just Days

"Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work with in us, to Him be glory..." Ephesians 3:20-21

A small but oh so meaningful gift, just peanuts really (literally!); an amazing miracle; a much needed hug; an answer to prayer; a funny card; a quick kiss…birthdays, or just days.  I can choose to celebrate life or just live a miserable, complaining, ungrateful, pity-party existence. 

 Yesterday was my husband’s 53^rd birthday. It did not go by unnoticed or uncelebrated, but it wasn’t all I wanted it to be either. He gives so much.  Life can get so stinkin’ complicated, and I let it overwhelm me. Then again,  relationships matter to me ALL the time, and I make a point to try to let people know how much I love them in the moment, especially my family and friends because I’m not one of those wonderful ladies that manage to keep track of every special day and plan accordingly.  That’s not an excuse, well, actually it is and not a very good one.  I envy those people, because however big or small the gesture, it can be such an encouragement. It’s just that, when I try to be like that, I fail miserably.  And as if that’s not enough, even when I want to show how much I care I let daily distractions win out all too often.

 

I’m so grateful my husband is patient and kind.  He’s a simple man that is happy with simple shows of love and appreciation.  He’s confident enough, and very grateful for a family that he knows loves him.  So, it is not unusual to hear him say often, as he did last night before falling asleep, “we have such a great family!”

Yesterday Stephanie, our daughter (in-law)made Roger his favorite cake, German Chocolate. 

The three  grandchildren bought gifts with their own money for Poppy…cashews and one of his favorite green teas.  They also made him birds (he loves birds)out of origami.  Is that cool or what? . 

He received a video text from another daughter (in-law).  It was one of our hearing impaired granddaughters signing and singing Happy Birthday.  Precious!! 

And then last night, Ephraim, our 4 year-old grandson waiting kidney transplant called.  He was home from the hospital after yet another long and scary day, and he wanted to wish Poppy a Happy Birthday!  Just hearing his voice on the phone after the week he has had, well, it brought a lump to my throat. 

Earlier, we looked at a picture posted by another daughter (in law) of the grandkids in a corn box, and we had to laugh out loud at the antics, especially of one!  Each of the boys (and their fams)let him know in their own unique ways that he was in their thoughts, and that he is loved. 

Birthdays will come and go.  Days will continue to be full and crazy.  Transplant has been scheduled for October 24^th, and we are making plans to be with Seth and Rebecca during this time.  Our oldest son and his sweet wife will likely be having our 15^th grandchild that same week.  She is due the 21^st.  Jordan has another round of shots scheduled for the 21^st in preparation for her senior trip to the Dominican Republic.  She has gotten her driver’s license this week and there are other “senior biggies” on the horizon that we want to share with her.  I feel the weight on the shoulders of a close friend who sees her daddy’s health failing after a serious hospital stay.  She’s spending all the time she can with him and helping her mom.  It’s a difficult time.  I wish I could do more to help her get through this time. 

I can’t imagine my life being any other way.  I know you feel the same.  Most of you are living the same!!! And believe me, I pray for you individually and regularly.  You know who you are!  And some of you might be surprised to know how often you come to mind. 

Life is good.  It’s hard sometimes, but it’s still good because God is good.  And He’s big.  So,so big.  As overwhelmed as I can get in a day, His love overwhelms me more.  Sometimes I just sit still and wallow in it.  And as other precious friends and family pray and encourage in the many ways they do, I am tangibly touched.  I can fail miserably, and knowing His love is still there brings me back to try again.  I can “feel” inadequate and undeserving, but that’s just one way I “know” His love is real. He is bigger than how I feel. 

I wouldn’t make it as a birthday planner that’s for sure.  But Jesus makes every day worth celebrating.

I choose to celebrate. 

About Falling and Flying

It’s funny how falling flat on your face can be just the thing you need to get you back on your feet, standing strong, and humbled.  The expression, “that knocked me off my feet!”, well, I experienced it this week, literally. 

Tilly, our Australian Shepherd pup, was on her runner attached to ‘her’ tree.  It’s her favorite spot in the yard.  I was leaving, headed back to the ranch for the week and had my hands full…computer, tote bag, purse…making my way to the  Jeep.  I walked past her on the asphalt, not thinking…though I knew…that she could reach that far.  Before I knew it she was wrapped around my feet, had me lassoed.  Then with a quick yank, down I went.  She had pulled my feet right out from under me!  With nothing to break my fall, it was hello asphalt!

I feel that way often, like I’ve had my feet yanked out from under me.  It’s the unexpected news, the unexpected situation that arises, the unexpected expectation or responsibility that lands in my lap; the unexpected moment that demands a split second decision.  For a while I’m flying high feeling like I’ve got the bull by the horns so to speak, got it all under control, after all, I’m Wonder Woman!  And then wham! I’m falling flat on my face. 

But it’s not a bad place to b, when God is there to catch me and pick me back up when I cry out to Him.  I found myself this week “falling”.  I was no longer in control, I couldn’t change the situation.  I couldn’t change the behaviors and attitudes of the ones I was dealing with. Nothing I said seemed to be making a difference.  The boys (here in our children’s home) were angry, provoking each other, and it was just exploding, affecting everyone.  All of a sudden, I didn’t want to be there.  I didn’t want to continue to try to minister to these boys.  I didn’t want to try to instruct, teach, parent, counsel, help them work through it, help them see a better way.  In the midst of the morning verbal brawl, one young was trying to take care of the dishwasher and I snapped.  He caught my fury!  “What are you doing?  That doesn’t go there!  Now look at this mess!” And I burst into tears!!  I left them all silent and dumbfounded, him at the dishwasher, the others at the dining room table.  I was crying and upset because the dishwasher wasn’t loaded right??

Oh well, one day maybe they’ll get it.  Usually what a woman is crying about is not what she’s really crying about, and this was one of those times.  But I went to the bedroom, fell across the bed, and wept, asking God first of all to forgive me for not wanting to be where He wanted me to be.  For letting it all get to me.  For not remembering that it’s not me and anything that I can say or do to change hearts anyway!  I cannot control every situation. Sometimes, especially in the environment we’re in, things are gonna get a little crazy! 

No, I’m not always in control, but God is.  It’s humbling to step back and remove myself emotionally from the situation sometimes, but it’s necessary.  Maybe a day doesn’t hold what I thought it would after a phone call changes the plans I had!  But that’s ok because I’m not in control, God is.  So I can do this. 

Not because I’m “Wonder Woman”, but because He is Wonderful. 

 

“Help me rest in Your embrace today and keep me humble in my spirit, that I may be gentler, meeker, quietly stronger. More like You.”  (Gwen Ford Faulkenberry, Jesus Be Near Me)

 

Humble in my spirit…yep, even if that means using a puppy to cause me to fall flat on my face!  Even if it means allowing dishwasher duty to bring me to tears! Thank you Lord for wiping away my tears and catching me when I fall.

 

“The Eternal God is thy refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms” Deuteronomy 33:27

My crazy wonderful life!

I shot a text back to a friend with these words, then stopped to read what I wrote.  It made me smile to think about all it means to have and live my crazy wonderful life.  From allergies to alpacas…yes, alpacas…this has definitely been one crazy summer.   

Jordan just had her wisdom teeth out and ended up with dry sockets; this meant trips to the oral surgeon’s office 3 times a week.  One of the technicians, someone I knew from years ago but hadn’t seen in a long while, was surprised and asked, “when did you get a girl??!”  She and her husband knew us when our kids were all growing up together and knew we had all boys.  My first thought was, “my crazy wonderful life, do we really have time for me to tell you how we ended up with a girl!!” I just shared that Jordan became a part of the family nearly two years ago and left it at that.  Jordan had to get back to school! 

The Horse Barn

How quickly life happens.  I’m usually better off not having any warning when my life is about to take a major turn.  But I have found that God has His ways of preparing me even when I don’t quite know what He is preparing me for.  It was like that this summer with the purchase and move to our farm. 

Our search for different housing started several years ago.  Our needs had definitely changed as all the boys married, moved all over the country, and started having our grandchildren.  Then, Dan and Steph moved back from Utah with their three children and Steph was expecting.  I had begun to have problems with my hips and legs that doctors were having a difficult time diagnosing.  All I knew was that it was getting more and more painful to go up and down stairs and we were told to expect it o only get worse as I got older.  Next, Jordan entered the picture.  Our four bedroom two bath home was no longer adequate. 

While in Utah, Dan and Steph had become very interested in raising alpacas.  After educating  me about this creature and considering the possibilities, that became a part of the search criteria, the possibility of land, barns, etc…those things that would make it possible if that door opened, and we prayed. 

Boy did it open!  And rather suddenly.  In April, we found an incredible place that we knew held possibilities that we were yet to consider.  But after going to three banks, Rog was told the same thing each time; because the property had more than five acres and had two houses on it, it did not qualify for a traditional home mortgage…he would have to do a farm loan which would require 20% down.  That was not an option for us.  But the last bank suggested the Farm Bureau.  Excited, he found the 25 acre property qualified, but he didn’t.  It required that he have at least three years’ experience actually  operating a farm.  Bummer.   

He called our realtor and gave him the news and we tried not to be too disappointed.  We had been looking for several years!  Nothing had been right, until now.  We had a hard time believing this was not the place the Lord had for us.  But we were content to trust Him knowing He might have something else altogether in mind. 

The next day our realtor called back.  He ran into a friend of his at yet another bank that mentioned a promotional program they were doing right now and asked us to talk with them.  Roger was hesitant at first after being told the same thing by three banks already.  But he decided it couldn’t hurt.  Not only did he qualify, the property qualified, but they would finance it 100%!  No money down!  We were floored.  From that point on it was like a snowball rolling downhill as we literally sat back and watched doors open and more than one person involved (banker, financial advisor, realtor, etc…) tell us this must be a “God thing”.  Indeed it was, and we were so grateful and humbled.  We just wanted to be able to see God do whatever He had planned with it all. 

Now, back to the alpacas.  Shortly after the closing I walked into a staff meeting at work and they were talking about us having purchased a farm.  One of the ladies asked, “Angela, what in the world are you all going to do with a farm?”  Another lady exclaimed, “They’re gonna raise llamas!”  Well, not quite.  So I explained that we were interested in possibly raising alpacas, as well as boarding some horses.  The next day, a dear lady called the ranch and told Karen, our office manager, that she had eight alpacas she was trying to find a home for.  After praying and looking for three weeks, she thought of the children’s home her church financially supported.  Karen explained that the ranch was not in a position to take them, but that one of the ranch staff couples just bought a farm and planned to raise none other than…alpacas!  Karen gave her our number, she called, we talked, I called Rog, we prayed…she prayed, and the next thing we know we have 8 alpacas.  Interestingly enough, we had closed, but weren’t planning to be able to move right away.  The folks we bought from were being delayed getting into the place they purchased, but when I called them, they were more than gracious about us getting those alpacas settled on the property!  So, they moved before we did! 

Well, we’re a month into the move and still trying to get everything out of the old place.  We found the farm in April, signed the contract in May, closed in July, moved in August and will hopefully have our  place ready to list by the end of September. 

The daily duties and other summer activities were not set aside in all the changes…Vacation Bible School, our 40^th anniversary celebration at church, school shopping for our 10 ranch guys and Jordan, visits from family and friends, a ranch trip to Carowinds, all the doctor’s visits for myself and Jordan to have her ready for her senior year and trip to the Dominican Republic; you know how it is, life just keeps moving along! 

We’re soon expecting our 15 grandchild, due to arrive in October to Josh and Christina.  We’ll be heading down to Atlanta when we get the call that our grandson Ephraim’s kidney transplant has been scheduled.  And I’m sure there will be other surprises, things that life will bring our way and that I’m sure are no surprise to God! 

After all, this crazy wonderful life of mine??  God’s got it all under control.  I just have to stay close to Him.