This time of year really brings out the “Betty Crocker” in some people. I envy them, every once in a while. Most of the time I just enjoy the fact that God has gifted some at least, with a baker’s thumb.
If you’re like me, there’s a special dessert or two that comes quickly to mind when you think of Christmas. It’s that mouth-watering something that just adds to the celebratory feeling in the air. It’s that one thing you look forward to, and you’re just sure that Christmas wouldn’t be the same without it. For me that special dessert was Grandma’s Red Velvet Cake. A great deal of time and expense went into this cake. And it was so worth it. It was the perfect Christmas cake with its festive deep red color frosted in that rich cream cheese and walnut icing. We called it Jesus’ birthday cake.
When I married and moved hundreds of miles away from home, being with extended family for Christmas was not always possible. Red Velvet Cake was one of the traditions I wanted to carry on with my own family. It wouldn’t be Grandma’s, but I wanted to try, so I had her send me her recipe. Looking over the ingredients, it was like no boxed mix I’d ever used. Who puts vinegar in a cake? Grandma added a note that puzzled me, but otherwise it didn’t appear to be too complicated. The note said something about how to mix the baking soda and the vinegar. What difference would it make?
Flour, sugar, cocoa, vanilla, baking soda, vinegar, food coloring, eggs, oil, milk…I started tossing everything in the large mixing bowl, thinking to myself that it really shouldn’t matter what order I added them. After all, it would all be mixed together in the end. Then the phone rang. I was just seconds into the phone call when one of my boys started tugging at my leg, another began yelling, “Mom, the cake, it’s exploding!”
I glanced around and sure enough, my cake was bubbling up and out of the bowl and was pouring all over the counter! What a mess! I quickly ended my call and then phoned my grandmother. When I explained to her what was happening, she laughed then replied, “You didn’t follow the directions did you?” That was an understatement. I hadn’t made a cake, I had made a volcano! That was many Christmases ago, but some things you don’t forget. An exploding cake is one of them! And thanks to Grandma, I learned an important lesson about recipes. Directions do matter. If a certain end result is expected, then I can’t just randomly throw a few ingredients together and hope for the best.
There are many that take the same haphazard approach to life that I used with that recipe. Life can become one jumbled chaotic mess when every day is just a struggle to survive the stress. Whether it’s parenting, or plans for the holidays, the mayhem that often results from “just winging it” is exhausting. Some even approach worship this way, as if God is expected to accept whatever is thrown His way; a little prayer here, a little Bible reading there, church when we can squeeze it in, and we’ve done God a favor! We play by our own rules, disregarding the Word (the directions if you will) when the situation seems to demand it, then wonder why life blows up in our face…like exploding cake batter! Life can be busy and demanding, kind of crazy sometimes. But busyness is not bedlam when God is ordering our days (Psalms 37:23).
I learned how to make Red Velvet Cake the right way, by following Grandma’s recipe as it was written.
Funny, but every time I follow the instructions…I get the same result…success! God is faithful, and His Word can be trusted. When His instructions are followed, the results are the same…we’re blessed and He is honored. Keep thinking that just any old way will do. Keep making choices and decisions with no serious thought about the directions those choices are taking you. Keep parenting just hoping they turn out ok in the end. You may end up with a bigger mess than you bargained for.
Blown up any cakes lately?? Merry Christmas!
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Sunday, December 12, 2010
It was just another day.
How is it that one day can be so full? Ups and downs, ins and outs, highs and lows, joys on one hand, stresses on the other! Because that’s what makes life what it is I suppose; moments that become hours, hours that are full, with joy one minute and stresses the next; they delight one minute, and demand and drain the next, only to end up one long day.
I love days like today when I talk to all our sons. Even though we talk to each of them often, it has been a while since I talked to all of them in the same day. I had thoughts of our grandson Gabriel Ethan today. It was his 4th birthday. He had a joke to tell Poppy when we talked to him. I had thoughts of our newest grandchildren…praying for Emma, wanting to see Josie, wondering how Dan, Steph and the kids were doing now that they were home from the hospital with Lily. And then finding that Becca is having contractions and really feeling like it may not be too much longer before Ellie makes her appearance! Then Elisha calls, and though he’s talking a mile a minute I manage to catch a few words about opening his present, and winning his game, and I know they received their Christmas package. I hear my message ringtone and pick up my phone to see a picture of Ephraim with his Christmas present. Across the miles, over the phone, snatches of pure delight filled some of this day’s moments.
The activities of the day filled the rest, from routine chores to Christmas play practice. And now that the house is quiet, the activities are over, and it’s time to be able to rest, well, I’m awake with a busy mind and tired body! That’s how it goes some evenings. Letting the end catch up with the beginning I guess.
Jesus said He is the Beginning and the End, the Alpha and Omega, the first and the last (Rev. 1:8,11), and I am so glad. Because there are often moments in the day when I don’t know the end from the beginning, or which end is up! But to know Him is enough. Whether the moment is bringing delight or I’m thinking the demons of hell must have been loosed, Jesus is enough. I just have to grab a moment, and in my mind step into a quiet place, breathe deeply, and remember…He is enough. It’s in that moment my mind and strength is renewed and I move forward not necessarily knowing how the day will end but confident that He has already gone before me. And moment by moment, hour by hour, days like this one are becoming a wonderful lifetime.
“ And Isaac gave up the ghost, and died, and was gathered unto his people, [being] old and full of days: and his sons Esau and Jacob buried him” Genesis 35:29.
I want my days to be full, and my life full of days.
I love days like today when I talk to all our sons. Even though we talk to each of them often, it has been a while since I talked to all of them in the same day. I had thoughts of our grandson Gabriel Ethan today. It was his 4th birthday. He had a joke to tell Poppy when we talked to him. I had thoughts of our newest grandchildren…praying for Emma, wanting to see Josie, wondering how Dan, Steph and the kids were doing now that they were home from the hospital with Lily. And then finding that Becca is having contractions and really feeling like it may not be too much longer before Ellie makes her appearance! Then Elisha calls, and though he’s talking a mile a minute I manage to catch a few words about opening his present, and winning his game, and I know they received their Christmas package. I hear my message ringtone and pick up my phone to see a picture of Ephraim with his Christmas present. Across the miles, over the phone, snatches of pure delight filled some of this day’s moments.
The activities of the day filled the rest, from routine chores to Christmas play practice. And now that the house is quiet, the activities are over, and it’s time to be able to rest, well, I’m awake with a busy mind and tired body! That’s how it goes some evenings. Letting the end catch up with the beginning I guess.
Jesus said He is the Beginning and the End, the Alpha and Omega, the first and the last (Rev. 1:8,11), and I am so glad. Because there are often moments in the day when I don’t know the end from the beginning, or which end is up! But to know Him is enough. Whether the moment is bringing delight or I’m thinking the demons of hell must have been loosed, Jesus is enough. I just have to grab a moment, and in my mind step into a quiet place, breathe deeply, and remember…He is enough. It’s in that moment my mind and strength is renewed and I move forward not necessarily knowing how the day will end but confident that He has already gone before me. And moment by moment, hour by hour, days like this one are becoming a wonderful lifetime.
“ And Isaac gave up the ghost, and died, and was gathered unto his people, [being] old and full of days: and his sons Esau and Jacob buried him” Genesis 35:29.
I want my days to be full, and my life full of days.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Reindeer Surprise
Our grandson, Elijah, has been quite fascinated with reindeer this Christmas season. Rudolph was the first Christmas special we watched. His stuffed Rudolph goes everywhere…everywhere! He can spot them a mile away, in a yard, a store window. Every animal from farm cows to jungle cats has imaginatively doubled as reindeer complete with names.
So when Rog made a trip up into the attic to check on the furnace and called down to me, “Hey, there are reindeer up here!” well, Elijah was at the bottom of the ladder in a split second, wide-eyed and waiting. I yelled up, “Sure there are!”
“No, I’m serious, there are reindeer up here! And a sleigh, and…what do you know, a Santa??? I quickly climbed the ladder only to meet the first reindeer face to face as he started to hand it down. Over 12 years we have lived in this house with no knowledge of reindeer in the attic. They obviously had belonged to the previous owners, but had evidently been abandoned or forgotten to the dark, cold attic corner.
Well, they are now in the yard…minus the Santa; he landed a spot on the back deck as a door mat. But the reindeer? They found a spot out front near the spiral lit Christmas trees that very night.
Life is just full of surprises, isn’t it? From our earthly perspective at least . I know God has a sense of humor. He used reindeer in my attic to remind me not to let the grinches and grumpies of this world rob me of His joy and simple pleasures that may be closer than I think.
I have a sneaking suspicion that outside of the grace of God and His joy made available to me I could easily become one of those grinches or grumpies. And I know exactly what “gets my goat”. Selfishness, rudeness, injustices, inconsistencies, arrogance…and I guess I should add being judgmental right? Hey, I look in the mirror often. That’s one reason I’m so easily frustrated. I know what the Word of God is capable of…it has transformed me. And even though many would likely say I’ve a ways to go, I’m not what I used to be, and don’t want to be. I can’t imagine life any other way. But I let God deal with that and continue to draw me closer to Himself. The greater the focus on the person of Christ, the less the fretting over things, situations, people…I cannot change or control. Especially the little things that might appear huge at the moment but really…they’re little in the light of eternity. But it’s not like God is unaware of even the huge things. How fruitless to fret! And I am the one that loses if my joy is sapped.
I’m not the only one who’s learned the power of this truth. Opening a Christmas card today from a dear friend was another welcomed reminder of how very much she taught me about joy years ago. And she’s never let it go. On the front of her card, “Joy” in large red script. Her message, her strength in very dark times, was and continues to be “joy”, joy in Jesus. Joy in Him, not in what He chooses to do or not do for us when we think we can’t go on, but a depth of joy that waits and trusts and prays, for years! It strengthens you to conquer the ups and downs, to accept what comes from His hand, and sees God do awesome things. And there are others…they have chosen joy in Jesus as a reality in their lives in spite of their circumstances, their hurts. They’re an inspiration and have taught me so much.
Sure, choosing joy is going to be challenged every now and then. And there are plenty of heartaches and hurts and headaches to go around. Read the newspaper, go to the mall, go to work! But don’t give up. Keep joy alive. Maybe this Christmas joy can reign, even with the same old ornaments, the same old Christmas music, the same old Christmas routine….Christmas programs, Christmas shopping, the cooking and baking and wrapping and rushing. And yes, the same people, maybe even family. Ask God to open your eyes to see differently. Ask Him to forgive the sins of irritation, frustration, impatience, doubt, anger, arrogance, whatever it might be. Tell him you want the joy. You might have to tell Him often. But you may just find it in a way you’re not expecting.
There may be reindeer in your attic.
So when Rog made a trip up into the attic to check on the furnace and called down to me, “Hey, there are reindeer up here!” well, Elijah was at the bottom of the ladder in a split second, wide-eyed and waiting. I yelled up, “Sure there are!”
“No, I’m serious, there are reindeer up here! And a sleigh, and…what do you know, a Santa??? I quickly climbed the ladder only to meet the first reindeer face to face as he started to hand it down. Over 12 years we have lived in this house with no knowledge of reindeer in the attic. They obviously had belonged to the previous owners, but had evidently been abandoned or forgotten to the dark, cold attic corner.
Well, they are now in the yard…minus the Santa; he landed a spot on the back deck as a door mat. But the reindeer? They found a spot out front near the spiral lit Christmas trees that very night.
Life is just full of surprises, isn’t it? From our earthly perspective at least . I know God has a sense of humor. He used reindeer in my attic to remind me not to let the grinches and grumpies of this world rob me of His joy and simple pleasures that may be closer than I think.
I have a sneaking suspicion that outside of the grace of God and His joy made available to me I could easily become one of those grinches or grumpies. And I know exactly what “gets my goat”. Selfishness, rudeness, injustices, inconsistencies, arrogance…and I guess I should add being judgmental right? Hey, I look in the mirror often. That’s one reason I’m so easily frustrated. I know what the Word of God is capable of…it has transformed me. And even though many would likely say I’ve a ways to go, I’m not what I used to be, and don’t want to be. I can’t imagine life any other way. But I let God deal with that and continue to draw me closer to Himself. The greater the focus on the person of Christ, the less the fretting over things, situations, people…I cannot change or control. Especially the little things that might appear huge at the moment but really…they’re little in the light of eternity. But it’s not like God is unaware of even the huge things. How fruitless to fret! And I am the one that loses if my joy is sapped.
I’m not the only one who’s learned the power of this truth. Opening a Christmas card today from a dear friend was another welcomed reminder of how very much she taught me about joy years ago. And she’s never let it go. On the front of her card, “Joy” in large red script. Her message, her strength in very dark times, was and continues to be “joy”, joy in Jesus. Joy in Him, not in what He chooses to do or not do for us when we think we can’t go on, but a depth of joy that waits and trusts and prays, for years! It strengthens you to conquer the ups and downs, to accept what comes from His hand, and sees God do awesome things. And there are others…they have chosen joy in Jesus as a reality in their lives in spite of their circumstances, their hurts. They’re an inspiration and have taught me so much.
Sure, choosing joy is going to be challenged every now and then. And there are plenty of heartaches and hurts and headaches to go around. Read the newspaper, go to the mall, go to work! But don’t give up. Keep joy alive. Maybe this Christmas joy can reign, even with the same old ornaments, the same old Christmas music, the same old Christmas routine….Christmas programs, Christmas shopping, the cooking and baking and wrapping and rushing. And yes, the same people, maybe even family. Ask God to open your eyes to see differently. Ask Him to forgive the sins of irritation, frustration, impatience, doubt, anger, arrogance, whatever it might be. Tell him you want the joy. You might have to tell Him often. But you may just find it in a way you’re not expecting.
There may be reindeer in your attic.
Friday, November 19, 2010
Perfect Hatred
The Scripture speaks of “hating with a perfect hatred”. Theologians undoubtedly have explained it. I’m not sure I fully understand it but sometimes I’m sure I feel it.
Consider Psalms 139:21-22; “Do not I hate them O Lord that hate Thee? And am not I grieved with those that rise up against Thee? I hate them with perfect hatred: I count them mine enemies.”
Yes, I can feel it sometimes, but I quickly give it back to God because, in my raw emotion, to hold on to it would only fuel feelings better left with Him. My human hatred would be far from “perfect” and would likely be misdirected, unleashed on individuals rather than a world of failed, deceptive systems. It seems there’s always a ‘system’ at work that is supposed to have all the answers…a government system, an education system, a social services system, even a religious system. Even with all the good people out there and great programs available, they unfortunately fall miserably short of ever being able to meet humanity’s greatest need, a love-relationship with their Creator.
More importantly, the Enemy is not my cranky neighbor, or the teen with the purple hair and smart mouth, or the woman behind the desk whose hands are tied. It’s not even the cashier that sabotages my order at McDonald’s. How do you confuse mocha with caramel anyway?? But this isn’t about me being personally offended or needing a platform to strike back.
I look in the eyes of a teen that harbors a hardness of heart; I walk by a parked car in a parking lot and hear the foul language and the harshness and the meanness pouring from an adult’s mouth toward another, especially a child. I see the places people live, not because they have to but because they choose to, in the filth, the perversion, the drinking and drugging, the reckless sex, the noncommittal relationships, the materialism and pleasure-seeking. It’s the nothing-really-matters place, the until-something-better-comes-along place, the mind-your-own-business place, the going-nowhere-fast place. The grieving, the heaviness, like someone died… it’s there again; I’m incensed with the product of sin and selfishness, wickedness and a no-God-consciousness glaring me in the face.
I often even feel it rising to the surface when I see the carelessness and complacency of believers, those that won’t rely on the Word and the Spirit of God to draw them to Christlikeness. Rather, they’re allowing themselves to be strongly influenced by the world’s systems, their way of thinking. They’re slowly swallowing the philosophy of self-centeredness, the “it’s all about me” mentality. They can’t handle the thought of not being accepted, of appearing to be weird or outdated in their thinking, of not going along, fitting in or adapting to current trends. There’s a fear of questions being raised about their actions and attitudes, or about having a firm belief in anything and especially God. Everything has to be situational, or else there’s no way out when cornered to commit. Christ is Truth, yet truth is so lightly regarded. Self-importance is priority and will not allow for anything that might threaten it.
Yet, when they are weak and stumbling, being strangled by stress, or suffocating in the grip of some habit or desire, they wonder where God is. Worse yet, they see their children not having any desire to know God or live for Him and wonder why…the heaviness, there it is again. The hurt is even harder to handle, knowing there is a simple solution. Simple, yes, but costly. As in Jesus’ day there are some not willing to pay the price to follow Him (Mark 8:34; John 6:66-67).
Is there anything positive this “hatred” can accomplish? Yes, and there is a glorious dimension to it. It is to pray and trust and give and serve and live for Christ instead of dwelling on the darkness. It is to wait and expect and be excited to see the power of unconditional love take hold and begin to melt a hard heart; it is to watch as the saving grace of Christ is appropriated and a life is changed; it is the thrill when God intervenes on behalf of His children and miracles happen! It’s the peace that comes with a quiet acceptance of the sovereignty of God, an understanding of His love and care that is difficult to explain but divinely intoxicating to experience. It’s to praise Him and be genuinely thankful when others come to know Him as you do.
A perfect God with perfect hatred will mete out perfect justice in His perfect time. I give my hatred to Him. I am grateful for His perfect love. Others can know His perfect love. It’s so perfect and real that it overwhelms me. Righteous hatred births humility, unconditional love, and a burning passion for others to know and live for the Savior.
“You who love the LORD, hate evil!” Psalm 97: 10 NKJV
Consider Psalms 139:21-22; “Do not I hate them O Lord that hate Thee? And am not I grieved with those that rise up against Thee? I hate them with perfect hatred: I count them mine enemies.”
Yes, I can feel it sometimes, but I quickly give it back to God because, in my raw emotion, to hold on to it would only fuel feelings better left with Him. My human hatred would be far from “perfect” and would likely be misdirected, unleashed on individuals rather than a world of failed, deceptive systems. It seems there’s always a ‘system’ at work that is supposed to have all the answers…a government system, an education system, a social services system, even a religious system. Even with all the good people out there and great programs available, they unfortunately fall miserably short of ever being able to meet humanity’s greatest need, a love-relationship with their Creator.
More importantly, the Enemy is not my cranky neighbor, or the teen with the purple hair and smart mouth, or the woman behind the desk whose hands are tied. It’s not even the cashier that sabotages my order at McDonald’s. How do you confuse mocha with caramel anyway?? But this isn’t about me being personally offended or needing a platform to strike back.
I look in the eyes of a teen that harbors a hardness of heart; I walk by a parked car in a parking lot and hear the foul language and the harshness and the meanness pouring from an adult’s mouth toward another, especially a child. I see the places people live, not because they have to but because they choose to, in the filth, the perversion, the drinking and drugging, the reckless sex, the noncommittal relationships, the materialism and pleasure-seeking. It’s the nothing-really-matters place, the until-something-better-comes-along place, the mind-your-own-business place, the going-nowhere-fast place. The grieving, the heaviness, like someone died… it’s there again; I’m incensed with the product of sin and selfishness, wickedness and a no-God-consciousness glaring me in the face.
I often even feel it rising to the surface when I see the carelessness and complacency of believers, those that won’t rely on the Word and the Spirit of God to draw them to Christlikeness. Rather, they’re allowing themselves to be strongly influenced by the world’s systems, their way of thinking. They’re slowly swallowing the philosophy of self-centeredness, the “it’s all about me” mentality. They can’t handle the thought of not being accepted, of appearing to be weird or outdated in their thinking, of not going along, fitting in or adapting to current trends. There’s a fear of questions being raised about their actions and attitudes, or about having a firm belief in anything and especially God. Everything has to be situational, or else there’s no way out when cornered to commit. Christ is Truth, yet truth is so lightly regarded. Self-importance is priority and will not allow for anything that might threaten it.
Yet, when they are weak and stumbling, being strangled by stress, or suffocating in the grip of some habit or desire, they wonder where God is. Worse yet, they see their children not having any desire to know God or live for Him and wonder why…the heaviness, there it is again. The hurt is even harder to handle, knowing there is a simple solution. Simple, yes, but costly. As in Jesus’ day there are some not willing to pay the price to follow Him (Mark 8:34; John 6:66-67).
Is there anything positive this “hatred” can accomplish? Yes, and there is a glorious dimension to it. It is to pray and trust and give and serve and live for Christ instead of dwelling on the darkness. It is to wait and expect and be excited to see the power of unconditional love take hold and begin to melt a hard heart; it is to watch as the saving grace of Christ is appropriated and a life is changed; it is the thrill when God intervenes on behalf of His children and miracles happen! It’s the peace that comes with a quiet acceptance of the sovereignty of God, an understanding of His love and care that is difficult to explain but divinely intoxicating to experience. It’s to praise Him and be genuinely thankful when others come to know Him as you do.
A perfect God with perfect hatred will mete out perfect justice in His perfect time. I give my hatred to Him. I am grateful for His perfect love. Others can know His perfect love. It’s so perfect and real that it overwhelms me. Righteous hatred births humility, unconditional love, and a burning passion for others to know and live for the Savior.
“You who love the LORD, hate evil!” Psalm 97: 10 NKJV
Monday, November 1, 2010
After an intensely oppressive Saturday, Sunday was a breath of fresh air!! It was as if God had opened a window...I could breathe freely, see clearly, pray openly without the terrible struggle. Christ was so very near in morning worship. In fact, the reminders of His nearness were every where; in the prayers of people, in the fellowship, in the message, in the songs...especially in the songs: "Near to the Heart of God"; "Draw me Nearer"; "Nearer my God to Thee".
A friend had spent time in prayer with me; my sons had called to check on me and were quick to encourage with Scripture and prayer. My husband had offered support and encouragement, and went beyond just "sharing the load". Finally, I was able to go to bed around 11:30 p.m. exhausted, but with joy and a quiet confidence that God was at work. Even during the night, I woke several times only to have a number of people come to mind that I knew were going through terribly challenging times. The Lord impressed me to consider that my spiritual struggle may not have been just about me, and I prayed.
Such a marked difference the two days were! There was a spirit of calm in the cottage, not the incessant bickering and edginess. My heaviness of the previous day was gone, and my emotions had survived the gamut they had experienced. Even into Monday, there was indication that God was still working in so many ways. The Chris Tomlin song, "Indescribable" comes to mind..."awestuck we fall to our knees and we humbly proclaim, you are amazing God".
"Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the powere of His might. Put on the whole armour of God that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the the evil day, and having done all, to stand."
I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me.
Standing.
A friend had spent time in prayer with me; my sons had called to check on me and were quick to encourage with Scripture and prayer. My husband had offered support and encouragement, and went beyond just "sharing the load". Finally, I was able to go to bed around 11:30 p.m. exhausted, but with joy and a quiet confidence that God was at work. Even during the night, I woke several times only to have a number of people come to mind that I knew were going through terribly challenging times. The Lord impressed me to consider that my spiritual struggle may not have been just about me, and I prayed.
Such a marked difference the two days were! There was a spirit of calm in the cottage, not the incessant bickering and edginess. My heaviness of the previous day was gone, and my emotions had survived the gamut they had experienced. Even into Monday, there was indication that God was still working in so many ways. The Chris Tomlin song, "Indescribable" comes to mind..."awestuck we fall to our knees and we humbly proclaim, you are amazing God".
"Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the powere of His might. Put on the whole armour of God that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the the evil day, and having done all, to stand."
I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me.
Standing.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
What a day it has been. Just one 24-hour day?? First not wanting to talk to a soul, then wanting to share everything with anyone that would listen. The highs and lows have been just that; first joy then a heavy heart. It has been a while since I've fought a spiritual battle this intense. And that is what it has been, a spiritual battle. Each time I would sense the onslaught, I would go to the Scripture, spend time earnestly praying...and each time within hours, God impressed someone to contact me with the exact same message He had for me in His Word and in prayer. It reassured me of His presence; it encouraged me to be strong; it made me laugh out loud!
I posted on fb this morning:
I looked out over the pond, and then across those beautiful hills. There was a frost on the ground and the color was fading...but the sky was as blue as could be!And so clearly the thought came..."this joy that I have, the world didn't give it and the world can't take it away".
The Lord knew the many concerns of my heart in recent days.
Another post later:
so, no sooner had I meditated on the joy that the world can't take away...Satan must have determined, "but I can sure make you try to give it up!"
I then went on to comment on the old saying..."and that's when all Hades broke loose!" I experienced a direct hit on my joy bucket!!
One of my sons had been talking to me earlier this week about that very thing...how so many believers are robbed of their joy, and they are rendered useless. If there is one thing I don't want to be, it's useless; all the "D" words...defeated, discouraged, distraught, damaged, disillusioned...I'm sure there are more, but "good grief" (thanks, Peanuts! love 'em) that's enough!
Life is full; life is good; life is meaningful...and too short to sit and sour over any and everything! I know...crazy. at least by the standard of those that don't operate within this realm. It's hard to explain. Maybe I shouldn't be sharing it at all. It's just been a day I will remember for a while. So intense, so....good. Only because I know I've been stretched. And, even when there will likely be hell's fury to face on yet another day, I woke up with joy, and praise God I'm going to bed with joy.
"...the joy of the Lord is your strength" (Neh 8:10)
I posted on fb this morning:
I looked out over the pond, and then across those beautiful hills. There was a frost on the ground and the color was fading...but the sky was as blue as could be!And so clearly the thought came..."this joy that I have, the world didn't give it and the world can't take it away".
The Lord knew the many concerns of my heart in recent days.
Another post later:
so, no sooner had I meditated on the joy that the world can't take away...Satan must have determined, "but I can sure make you try to give it up!"
I then went on to comment on the old saying..."and that's when all Hades broke loose!" I experienced a direct hit on my joy bucket!!
One of my sons had been talking to me earlier this week about that very thing...how so many believers are robbed of their joy, and they are rendered useless. If there is one thing I don't want to be, it's useless; all the "D" words...defeated, discouraged, distraught, damaged, disillusioned...I'm sure there are more, but "good grief" (thanks, Peanuts! love 'em) that's enough!
Life is full; life is good; life is meaningful...and too short to sit and sour over any and everything! I know...crazy. at least by the standard of those that don't operate within this realm. It's hard to explain. Maybe I shouldn't be sharing it at all. It's just been a day I will remember for a while. So intense, so....good. Only because I know I've been stretched. And, even when there will likely be hell's fury to face on yet another day, I woke up with joy, and praise God I'm going to bed with joy.
"...the joy of the Lord is your strength" (Neh 8:10)
Thursday, August 26, 2010
the Chalk Drawing
As the chalk artist put the final touches on his drawing, I sat there in the pew struggling to even see it through the tears. It was beautiful, but it made me so angry. It showed Moses there on the top of Mount Pisgah looking out over ‘the Promised Land’. God was giving Moses an opportunity to see it, but he would not go in. In his face was the look of deep longing, but at the same time, acceptance and a depth of understanding and contentment. Had the artist really captured that, or was that just what I was seeing?
That was over 30 years ago, but I remember so vividly the strong emotion, the questions that filled me as I went over the story in my mind. What a struggle raged in me; and it would have to be settled before leaving the church that evening. Somehow I knew this was not just about Moses. This was about where I was going in my relationship with God from that point forward. Would I be able to trust Him to do right? At the time, what He chose for Moses just didn’t seem quite fair to me. Yes, Moses had made some mistakes; he had sinned. But he had been forgiven, right? God used him in tremendous ways as a great leader. He had done so much, put up with so much. I didn’t understand it all then, but I did know that faith involved trusting even when I didn’t understand. But that would mean I wouldn’t be in control anymore. God would have to be.
Things have always been so black and white for me; cut and dried, yes or no, all or nothing, no middle of the road. So if I took this step I knew there was no turning back regardless of where it took me. And deep down that’s what I wanted, something genuine, something bigger than me, something with meaning and purpose, but at what cost? Jesus was trying to show me that my relationship with Him could be more than just knowing I was going to heaven when I died. It could be more than just knowing the Bible stories, more than just being “a pretty good person”. But I would have to learn what it meant to really trust Him and trust His ways. I went forward that night to affirm my decision and left that evening knowing my life had taken a significant turn. I was able to surrender my anger, my disbelief at how God had chosen to deal with Moses. I was able to tell Him I wanted to trust, but I would need His help.
A lot of years have passed. I’m grateful for the lessons learned, the love and hunger the Lord gave me for His Word, the wise and mentoring women He has allowed me to know and be impacted by. And every time I have trusted Him, with everything from life-changing decisions to my daily routine and everything in between…He has proven I can trust Him more. I can trust Him for guidance. I can trust Him with relationships. I can trust Him when life’s events just don’t make any sense to me. I can trust Him with all the inconsistencies and unfairness. I can trust Him with the choices and philosophies and behaviors of others that I cannot control or change. And I must confess this is my greatest challenge. I’m the one that sees things cut and dried, black and white, remember? So things are either right or they are wrong. Sometimes the frustration and irritation, the disappointment and disillusionment, is a major battle, because it often appears that gray is the choice of color for so many. I must continually rely on the Lord for His patience, understanding, and resolve when mine is slipping away. Am I the only one that just wants to “shake some sense” into people every once in a while??? But that’s not my job. My job is not to set right all the wrongs. My job is not to champion all the causes. My job is not to make others simply do the right thing (simply??). That’s God’s job, and I must let Him do His job. My responsibility, my great blessing, is to trust, yielding to Him with a willing acceptance.
“Shall not the Judge of all the earth do right?” (Genesis 18:25) Yes, but at times it seems as though it won’t be in my lifetime! And that may be so, but that is His business. In my passion , when I resort to the ways of the ‘Sons of Thunder’ and just want to ‘call fire down from heaven’, I am quickly humbled with God’s patient care of me and find myself asking Jesus for His holy sweetness (I am quite aware I will not melt in a downpour!).
The chalk artist left a drawing with the host pastor that night, who later became my father-in-law. When packing for a move to another ministry, Dad decided to give the drawing to me. Unrolling the canvas, I should not have been surprised to find it was ‘my Moses’ picture! God has such a sense of humor. Seeing it this time however, stirred no anger, only a warm acceptance and gratitude. The drawing is long gone, lost in the many moves and turns my life has taken. The message etched on my heart that night remains. I don’t always understand His ways, but I don’t doubt His love. It is strong and forever. I am confident He will always do what is right and what is best. He has proven it over and over again.
I can trust Him.
That was over 30 years ago, but I remember so vividly the strong emotion, the questions that filled me as I went over the story in my mind. What a struggle raged in me; and it would have to be settled before leaving the church that evening. Somehow I knew this was not just about Moses. This was about where I was going in my relationship with God from that point forward. Would I be able to trust Him to do right? At the time, what He chose for Moses just didn’t seem quite fair to me. Yes, Moses had made some mistakes; he had sinned. But he had been forgiven, right? God used him in tremendous ways as a great leader. He had done so much, put up with so much. I didn’t understand it all then, but I did know that faith involved trusting even when I didn’t understand. But that would mean I wouldn’t be in control anymore. God would have to be.
Things have always been so black and white for me; cut and dried, yes or no, all or nothing, no middle of the road. So if I took this step I knew there was no turning back regardless of where it took me. And deep down that’s what I wanted, something genuine, something bigger than me, something with meaning and purpose, but at what cost? Jesus was trying to show me that my relationship with Him could be more than just knowing I was going to heaven when I died. It could be more than just knowing the Bible stories, more than just being “a pretty good person”. But I would have to learn what it meant to really trust Him and trust His ways. I went forward that night to affirm my decision and left that evening knowing my life had taken a significant turn. I was able to surrender my anger, my disbelief at how God had chosen to deal with Moses. I was able to tell Him I wanted to trust, but I would need His help.
A lot of years have passed. I’m grateful for the lessons learned, the love and hunger the Lord gave me for His Word, the wise and mentoring women He has allowed me to know and be impacted by. And every time I have trusted Him, with everything from life-changing decisions to my daily routine and everything in between…He has proven I can trust Him more. I can trust Him for guidance. I can trust Him with relationships. I can trust Him when life’s events just don’t make any sense to me. I can trust Him with all the inconsistencies and unfairness. I can trust Him with the choices and philosophies and behaviors of others that I cannot control or change. And I must confess this is my greatest challenge. I’m the one that sees things cut and dried, black and white, remember? So things are either right or they are wrong. Sometimes the frustration and irritation, the disappointment and disillusionment, is a major battle, because it often appears that gray is the choice of color for so many. I must continually rely on the Lord for His patience, understanding, and resolve when mine is slipping away. Am I the only one that just wants to “shake some sense” into people every once in a while??? But that’s not my job. My job is not to set right all the wrongs. My job is not to champion all the causes. My job is not to make others simply do the right thing (simply??). That’s God’s job, and I must let Him do His job. My responsibility, my great blessing, is to trust, yielding to Him with a willing acceptance.
“Shall not the Judge of all the earth do right?” (Genesis 18:25) Yes, but at times it seems as though it won’t be in my lifetime! And that may be so, but that is His business. In my passion , when I resort to the ways of the ‘Sons of Thunder’ and just want to ‘call fire down from heaven’, I am quickly humbled with God’s patient care of me and find myself asking Jesus for His holy sweetness (I am quite aware I will not melt in a downpour!).
The chalk artist left a drawing with the host pastor that night, who later became my father-in-law. When packing for a move to another ministry, Dad decided to give the drawing to me. Unrolling the canvas, I should not have been surprised to find it was ‘my Moses’ picture! God has such a sense of humor. Seeing it this time however, stirred no anger, only a warm acceptance and gratitude. The drawing is long gone, lost in the many moves and turns my life has taken. The message etched on my heart that night remains. I don’t always understand His ways, but I don’t doubt His love. It is strong and forever. I am confident He will always do what is right and what is best. He has proven it over and over again.
I can trust Him.
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