Know Your Children

I sat in the Sunday morning service and listened as Pastor spoke from I Samuel 3. My chest began to tighten a bit, and I had this feeling in my stomach, you know, the kind you get when you realize the preacher is speaking directly to you. Actually, the Spirit of God was using the Word and the pastor bringing the message to do a work in my heart. I stopped at verse 8 when I read, “And Eli perceived that the Lord had called the child.” I didn’t hear much of the rest of the message, or really remember today what it was about. But I have never forgotten the lesson the Lord taught me that morning, or what He instructed me from His Word to do.

It had been earlier that week when Joshua, five years old at the time, approached me at the kitchen sink while I did dishes. “Mom,” he said, “I think God wants me to be a preacher.” My answer was something like, “That’s nice, honey. Maybe He does.” I wouldn’t have discouraged him for anything, but sitting in church the following Sunday morning, I knew God was dealing with me about that verbal pat on the head I had given my son. It became very clear that God might very well be calling my son to himself, and like Eli I was being slow to catch on.

Yes, Joshua was only five, and had only recently trusted Jesus as his Savior. But God used this story of the child Samuel to remind me that if preaching was the path that Josh should take, then I had better be aware of it and take it seriously, and as a parent be what Josh needed to help make this a reality for him. I asked God to forgive me for taking this lightly, and to help Roger and I be the parents we needed to be, not just for Josh, but for all our children, in order to see them follow after God and serve Him in whatever way He chose.

This is when Proverbs 22:6 became an even greater responsibility; “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” This kind of training would require getting to know my children in order to know 'the way they should go'. Aha! Another principal! Get to know your children!!

Is it possible to love a child, feed them, clothe them, take care of them when they’re ill, run them to practices and programs, give them birthday parties, and all the other things we do for our children, and miss getting to know who they really are?? Sadly, I see it all too often. Parents are often busy doing, but not really getting to know their children as individuals. What are their likes, their interests, their abilities? How do they enjoy spending their time? What are their strengths, and weaknesses? It’s especially obvious at Christmas when a total stranger walks up to you in the mall and asks, “Do you think my 16 year old would like this? I really don’t have a clue.”

If you don’t know these things about your children, you can’t encourage them to pursue ways to honor the Lord with those gifts and abilities. Are they well-spoken and bold? Are they quiet and generous? Do they love music or doing things with their hands? Ask God for a keen perception into your child’s heart. Ask Him to help you be sensitive to what He may have in store for them so you can begin to introduce them to the possibilities. Then provide the instruction and direction and guidance they will need to see this for themselves and go for it.

I’m not saying determine God’s will for your child’s life and set them on their course. This they will have to do for themselves. But it will be much easier for them, and it will more likely be their heart’s desire to find God’s will for themselves, if we have put opportunities and possibilities before them. Help them believe that “with God all things are possible”, and that with Him and for Him they can “do all things”. Help them see for themselves how God has gifted them and may desire to use them.

Joshua preached his first message at 13, and is now, at 27, the pastor of a church in Provo, Utah. Another ministers full-time as a youth pastor. Two use their musical gifts to lead worship and minister in song. One uses his gifts of helps and giving as a vital part of a local church ministry in a variety of ways. By the grace of God, all our sons, together with the wonderful families God has given them (the youngest will be married next month), are actively serving the Lord in their local church and as faithful witnesses in their communities. Our hearts are full and grateful, and we are blessed to know they have chosen to follow hard after the Lord in the way He would have them go.