Oh Lord, You are my Lamp. The Lord lights up my darkness.  2 Samuel 22:29 NLT

How quickly the dark cloud can settle over me, and I find myself fighting to get out from under its oppressive weight. For someone that has dealt with mild depression for much of my life, I recognize the triggers; I am just not always able to avoid them. I am so grateful God knows me inside and out. He loves me and understands me and knows right where to meet me in these moments.

Like, the Sunday evening I did not want to go back to church. And as a pastor’s wife that’s not the best place to be, as you might well understand. But I was angry, hurt, grieving over a situation, compounded by other things I had already been dealing with and mulling over. Plus, my summer vacation was over…as a teacher it was time to head back to school and I wasn’t ready for that either. Things were about to get crazy busy again.

Silently praying on the way to church, picking out hymns of trust and praise to have ready for the service, I fought back tears and just waited on the Lord to minister grace to my needy heart. 

And He did.

My pastor husband decided to do a follow-up from the morning’s message on “Your Story” by inviting anyone that would like to do so, to share “their story”. As I listened to the stories of God’s guidance in lives, His wisdom given when needed for a decision, His grace that sustained through all the unanswered questions, His forgiveness when wayward, His peace when confused and unsettled, and His welcoming arms for those seeking restoration. In some situations, God had even chosen to physically heal. And there was sweet comfort for those that had experienced loss. 

Of course the tears started flowing; I couldn’t hold them back. But they were cleansing tears, the kind that leave you feeling humbled and refreshed and encouraged and grateful, all at the same time. So I let them come, while sharing some of my own heart. 

The dark cloud had no chance to stall out over me that time. God used His sweet presence and precious church family to minister to me and “lighten my darkness” before it had a chance to get a major grip on me. It was so wonderful to be reminded of how great and good He is. And then, my devotion the next morning in Our Daily Bread was about the Lord doing this very thing!! Coincidence? No, not with God. He definitely turned my darkness into light once again. What a Savior!!

The next day was a new day, full of hope and joy. Thank You Jesus.