Do you love me?

I had begun to question my love for the children that God has entrusted to Rog and me to care for. I can't help but get attached, personally involved; I can't help but love them. And when they make poor choices, I hurt for them, but don't tire of them. It only serves to increase my awareness of their great need, and I love them even more. But when they leave, often with no notice, no closure, it's very difficult.

Most don't understand the tears. And because they come often, some might be tempted to see me as an emotional mess. It was the same when I was teaching. In fact, another teacher once told me I'd be much better off to distance myself from the children (whatever that means), and just enjoy teaching the material. But I wasn't there to simply teach material. I was there to teach children.

Still, I understand the need to keep a balance and let the Spirit of God rule rather than my emotions. I felt in my heart this was true for me, but needed the reassurance from the Word to quiet my heart and keep me from discouragement. I needed to know that my feelings had not been able to overshadow my judgment, as strong as they sometimes could be.

So, I opened my Bible for my morning devotions, and there was the answer I had been asking the Lord for. "Do you love me? ...Feed my sheep" John 21:15-17. After reading the passage, a pointed question in Our Daily Bread for the day got my attention; "Jesus didn't ask Peter if he loved His sheep, but if he loved Him." Once Peter affirmed his love for Christ, he was told to feed His sheep.

Loving Jesus with all my heart, and allowing Him to love them through me, deepens my love from simply an emotion to a purposeful action of Christ Himself. It provides the balance and the motivation to continue loving, in spite of the hurt, in spite of the misunderstanding.

All at once I knew that if I ever lost this passion, it would be my love for Christ that would first be in question, not my love for others. And that's not what I ever want to happen. So, to keep it all in perspective I will return to this question often..."Do you love me?"