The Stethoscope

Anyone else might have thought the question was quite random, but I knew it was the Lord at work in the details once again.

My son Seth and his wife Rebecca were being trained on the ins and outs of the nasal port (feeding tube) their son Ephraim was now requiring. A “kidney baby”, he was now losing weight and quite rapidly, so this was necessary if he was to remain on track for the kidney transplant. In the training it was brought to their attention that a stethoscope would be needed to make sure placement was accurate and to lessen injury with insertion and removal of the tube. It would be expensive to purchase, and at the time, insurance was not covering all the extras. The disposable one used by the home health nurse was only for training purposes; they would have to have their own.

When Seth replied, “I have one,” the questioning look on the face of the home health nurse was obvious and somewhat humorous. After all, not just everyone had a stethoscope lying around for no reason, especially a counseling major working at a bank.

But that’s where the Sovereign God of details comes in. At one time Seth had considered medicine as a career choice and was accepted into Marshall University’s pre-med program. The Christmas of his senior year in high school his grandmother gave him a stethoscope. This stethoscope had a history behind it, having belonged to a co-worker of hers. Living and working in a rural county in Virginia, she was surprised to learn that her co-worker had also attended Marshall University in West Virginia. But developments after a stint oversees practicing medicine stirred him in another direction after returning to the states. He had given her the stethoscope and told her to pass it on to her grandson in the hopes that it would still be found useful and perhaps be an encouragement to him during any challenging days he might encounter. Little did he know!

After Seth’s first year he also began sensing a change in the direction he should take and determined that medicine was not it. When sharing this with me and his dad I immediately thought of the stethoscope. Once again it seemed its fate would be to land in a drawer somewhere unused. But we wanted nothing more than to support him in his decision, knowing he had made it a matter of prayer. His grandmother would also be a bit disappointed at first but would also encourage him to follow what he knew in his heart was the right choice.

So, enter the present situation…Seth’s son was in need of a stethoscope. And he knew he had one. I know, coincidence, right? Perhaps. But when I answered the phone and he said, “Mom, I know this is kind of random, but do you still have my stethoscope?” I was able to tell him it was still hanging in his room just where it was when he left. He then went on to explain why it was needed. As he talked I couldn’t help but think that years earlier God knew Seth would be in need of a stethoscope and had provided it. It had not been used by him to this point, but it would be now, and in caring for his own son!

With all the challenges they had already faced with Ephraim, and all the miracles God had performed on this child, all the prayers answered, yet He had chosen not to provide a complete healing. Rather, along the way as each need surfaced, including while still in his mother’s womb, God had intervened. With the Lord’s hand on him, Ephraim had survived the pregnancy against all odds, survived a dry birth without any of the infections or complications normally associated with it, avoided dialysis, and for over a year his little abnormal, barely functioning kidney had sustained him. When the weight loss started and it was determined that his kidneys were now failing, once again God intervened. Problems developed with the feeding tube early on when the regulator kept malfunctioning. A chest port surgery had been scheduled but was 3 weeks away. When they were told nothing more could be done until the upcoming surgery they decided to join the rest of the family on vacation at the beach. It was hard to watch Ephraim become more frail each day, but at least we would all be able to face it together.

So, there at our special beach retreat on the Outer Banks, where so many wonderful times had already been spent together (including Seth and Rebecca’s wedding), the brothers and their families, along with Rog and myself and Seth’s paternal grandmother, gathered together and prayed over Ephraim shortly after they arrived. What a precious time. And then I remembered… the stethoscope! I had brought it with me and wanted to make sure I gave it to them. While everyone continued sharing and encouraging and just enjoying the moment, Rebecca’s phone rang. It was her home health nurse…also on vacation! The on-call nurse had called her and explained what was happening, asking for any suggestions. She had one last idea for them to try to get this regulator functioning properly. If that didn’t work, she didn’t know what else to tell them.

Well, not only did it work and Ephraim started getting a full feeding each night, but he started eating again through the day…everything in sight!! By the end of the week he had gained a pound and a half!

I knew there would likely be more challenges for them to face in the coming months if a transplant was in God’s plan. I also knew I had to let “my boys” and their beautiful wives and children…(my grandchildren!)...go back to their own homes, their own ministries, some hundreds, some thousands of miles away until the next time, whenever that might be. But it was ok. We had shared a precious time together, and God was in it all, every detail.

And Seth had his stethoscope.

“Let the peace of God rule….Let the word of Christ dwell…”

From Colossians 3

What a battle the will is known to wage at times. I know what the Scripture says. I know what God desires for me. I want this peace in my heart that is spoken of. I just want God to DO something…change my situation…change other people…that I might have this inner peace, when all along the determining factor for having that peace or not having it, lies with me.

How many imperatives are given in Colossians 3 alone: set; mortify; put off; put on; forgive, let…??? Having the peace of God rule in my heart begins with choosing to take a personal look at my role in this reality.

If I’m honest with myself, I can find it easy to justify holding on to my unrest based on what I feel is the responsibility of others to STOP IRRITATING ME. Why can’t people just do what they’re supposed to do? Why can’t people just be responsible and kind and considerate and respectful and patient and honest, and unselfish…and, wait! I can’t control these behaviors in others, but the behaviors of others do not have to control me. I have a privilege, a high calling…to honor my Savior by choosing to do as He asks. That in itself should be reason enough to “let”, but amazingly in my obedience, He eliminates the inner turmoil, the frustration, the anger, the irritation that I experience by holding on, by reacting, by expecting something of others that is not mine to control.

Easier said than done? Probably. But that’s not the issue. So, how? How do I practically apply this “letting” principle? It’s a conscious, determined effort. Once the will chooses to redirect the mind’s thinking, the emotions and feelings are easier brought into check. Make it a step by step process…stop, step back, step forward.

Stop: take a moment to stop what you’re doing, what you’re thinking, and deliberately change your thoughts and actions. Verbalize it if necessary. Make a declaration…I will be patient with others, I will change what I can, and let go what I cannot. I will…
Step back: take a deep breath, think on Scripture, pray, releasing your FEELINGS to the Lord. Receive all He promises about the situation…wisdom, strength, patience, whatever it is.
Step forward: go on with your day, doing what needs to be done. Praise the Lord for His abiding presence and work in your life, for what He has done TO you.

It’s just like God to take all I bring to Him in unrest, and turn it into beautiful peace.

Reading from Job 23..."Oh that I knew where I might find Him" (v.3).

A Job moment...times I felt God was so far away...at times, moments stretched into long, dry seasons. I've often thought of Elijah at the brook Cherith in these times. God sent him there, then the brook dried up!

But during even these times my faith was strengthened when I just refused to stop believing, refused to give in to how I was feeling. And yet I knew even that resolve came from Him because everything in me just wanted to give up.

Struggling to get up in the mornings, struggling to pray...but when I stopped struggling and just quieted my heart before Him, that strong sense of knowing, just knowing He in fact was very near...it would settle me. I did not feel His presence. I did not feel much at all for the numbness that could envelop me. But I would know. I would know, and then remember His promises, promises of His love, His faithfulness...a sense of deep, abiding love...love that stays, that won't let you go, that disallowed any thoughts and feelings of abandonment. Regardless of how I felt, I had Him...more importantly, He had me.

How amazing is that sense of knowing and being known, especially when you cannot feel.

"...and the sheep follow HIm for they know His voice."
"My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me."
John 10:4, 27

Parenting on Purpose

The message was from Joshua 24: 14-16. I don't remember at the moment exactly what the primary message was...only what immediately jumped off the page of my Bible to me. This will happen so often, and hopefully it does to you also...you know, when regardless of what the emphasis may have been, the Lord uses His word to impact you through it.

I've been mulling over this idea of parenting on purpose for some time now. I guess because I see so many haphazard approaches to parenting. And in too many cases the child birthed into this world is viewed as more of a burden than a blessing; someone to be tolerated as the offspring of some random physical relationship rather than children to be cherished and nurtured, and to forever bless your life from the moment they arrive.

No, parenting shouldn't just happen. It should be purposeful. There should be a plan, some goals to see accomplished. It's a work in progress, hard work; a mission moving forward on a regular basis. But it's so easy to get busy just getting through each day and not realize that YEARS are slipping by! There is a bountiful harvest to be enjoyed when the seed planted grows and develops into what it is meant to be.

I am so thankful that God impressed Rog and I early on in our marriage to commit to raising a family, not just having children...and there is a significant difference. We wanted to raise them by His standards and principles, with His enabling, and for His glory. That purposeful, determined commitment made all the difference, in the joy we would experience in this journey, in the hope and healing available with failure and heartbreak, in the wonderful reward of seeing adult children now with their own families committed to raising their own children "in the fear and admonition of the Lord". They have made their own commitments to purposeful and determined parenting. As they realized God's plan for them in marriage, it became a heartfelt desire to not just have children, but to have them and see them raised to honor the Lord and serve Him as He saw fit to give them this tremendous stewardship.

So what does all this have to do with Joshua 24? In 24:15 Joshua makes the familiar declaration, "...but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." As the leader in his home he charts the course, he establishes the direction, he unveils the path his family will follow. While so many parents wait and hope and even pray their children will choose to follow after the Lord and His will for their lives, their approach is not a planned pro-active one. Joshua took a pro-active approach, set a goal to be reached and set forth how to reach it. He is not making a choice for them in this statement, but if there was a choice to be made by his family it would be to choose NOT to serve the Lord.

Sometimes children will grab hold of the truth presented to them and blossom in response to it without what appears to be a whole lot of effort on anyone's part. Praise God! He is indeed at work in the hearts of individuals regardless! But why take that chance and just hope your children are going to make positive, godly choices simply because they are your children and it is what you assume will happen? Why not take determined action, set out to accomplish certain God-honoring goals, tackle the project with a plan!

Yet it is true, the choice will inevitably be the individual's. And when the parent has purposed to do all within their power to see the child first come to know Christ then choose to live for Him, and the child still rejects, that parent can;
1) know they have followed God in obedience to His plan and program of parenting...they have honored Him and that is the most important thing;
2) trust those children to God's great love and care without the regret of passive parenting, knowing they could have done more to bring them to the God-choice;
3) continue to hope and pray and love, always expecting a prodigal return.

"Your home is the single most powerful arena on earth to change a life for God" (Wilkerson, The Prayer of Jabez). Don't just passively let that opportunity slip by.

A Christmas Message

This season brings with it a chance to approach the beautiful Christmas Story with the anticipation of a fresh look at its timeless message. Every year I am amazed at the way God deals with my heart and opens it to rest in the truths that I need for that particular Christmas. There have been messages of the peace available if I could but rest in Him; the admonition to not fear when fear would choke me; the humorous reflection on the Light of Christmas the year every light, from those outside to the ones on our tree, burnt out!

This year the message was about gifts. Not the ones we might look for under the tree or shop for. On the way back from Atlanta over Thanksgiving, visiting Seth, Rebecca and Ephraim, we heard a song called "Thank God for kids". Considering all God had done in bringing Ephraim into this world with all the impossible challenges he faced(impossible with man, not with God) well, I think you can imagine how the song must have impacted me after just holding that little booger. You see, we take to heart the truth of Scripture that children are a gift of God (Psalm 127: 3). As parents we are gifted when God sees fit to bring a child into our lives. But all children are a gift to this world, not just ours to us. And to think that God chose to bring the Savior into this world as a child! Some would say, like the song, "What a crazy way to save the world". But when you think about it, the first gift of Christmas was a child. The great Giver gave His only beloved Son.

Gifts are meaningless until received, appreciated, cared for, valued, and cherished. It breaks my heart that so many "gifts" (children) are rejected, tolerated, neglected, abused, undervalued for the treasure they are, even destroyed before ever given a chance at life. The other great burden is to deal with a child whose heart and mind is already so full of the world's filth. They are hard, and quite frankly often hard to love. But these too, are God's gift and I was reminded this year at Ronnie's death that God deals with hard cases. His love for them is powerful, and He loves them through us. Look into the eyes of a child, listen to them laugh, hold them close when they run to you for a hug, and "thank God for kids". Remembering to "thank God for kids" when they're angry and hurtful, or being stubborn and willful, irresponsible and mischievous, even hard and hateful, is not just a challenge, it's a must, as much for us as for them.

If you are like me you just get tired, physically, spiritually, mentally. Like Mary you can almost hear the cry, "I just don't have it in me to do this Lord." The week before Christmas when the heavy snow came and we were without power for 3 days, well let's just say that being inside for 3 days with no power, no hot water, with 10 restless teens the week before Christmas...Peace on Earth took on a whole new meaning! I found myself stressed and tearful and edgy. Then I'd be laughing at the ways they amused themselves and how helpful they could be. I concluded I was losing it. Then, we'd get a phone call and I'd hear "Hi Grammy!" on the other end of the phone. Remembering how "gifted" I was made the difference.

Because of the weather primarily, and sickness, our Christmas program was canceled along with the Christmas fellowship. Shopping for Christmas baskets also had to be postponed. It was just a different Christmas season altogether. But it still came, and it was still holy and blessed even with the adjustments that had to be made. We had plans, but so did The Father, and "every good and perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness or shadow of turning" (James 1:17). He delights in giving good gifts to His children, the problem is that we don't often recognize them for the gifts they are.

Sometimes it takes a little interruption now and then, something like the birth of a miracle baby that six months later makes your heart skip a beat when he smiles; the unexpected death of a teen that leaves you bittersweet memories; a snowstorm days before Christmas that doesn't fit into our planners or Smartphones; or maybe just a house full of teens that have all the answers, to draw our attention to the truly precious gifts of life. At least it did for me this year. Yes, this year it was all about the gifts.

"Thanks be unto God for His unspeakable gift." 2 Corinthians 9:15

Finding Parenting Grace

“But Noah found grace in the eyes of the Lord. These are the generations of Noah: Noah was a just man and perfect in his generations, and Noah walked with God. And Noah begat three sons, Shem, Ham, and Japheth. The earth also was corrupt before God, and the earth was filled with violence” (Genesis 6: 8-11).

It has always saddened me to hear people say, especially believers, that they don’t want any children; that they’ll never bring children into such a wicked world. I sat listening to Roger’s message on the enabling power of God’s great grace from Genesis 6, grace at work in the life of Noah in the midst of great wickedness, grace that enabled him to persevere in faith to accomplish the task before him; to obey under great pressure and ridicule; to wait on God to faithfully perform his Word. But as I read down through the passage I was immediately struck with verse 10: “And Noah begat three sons…”. In the midst of a wicked, violent culture, grace enabled Noah to rear a family. And it was grace through faith that moved Noah to “prepare an ark to the saving of his house” (Hebrews 11:7). The rest of the known world was left to experience judgment because of their unbelief, but Noah was able to impact his family for righteousness sake, and see them saved.

I talked with my oldest grandchild this week, my 5-year-old granddaughter. For months her mom and dad have gently answered her questions, led her through Scripture, and prayed for her salvation as they sensed a tenderness, an openness, and an understanding growing in her of her personal need for a Savior. In the quietness of her room one evening, she “talked with Jesus on her bed” and was later able to pray with Daddy, “thank you Jesus for doing what you said you would do when I talked to you” . I was able to share with her how excited I was that she had trusted Jesus as her Savior and encouraged her to keep learning Bible verses and to work hard in school to learn to read so she could read her Bible.
“I will Grammy,” she said.

Yes, this is a wicked world. But God’s grace is still amazing. And it is surely still available for moms and dads determining to raise their children in the “fear and admonition of the Lord”. It is powerful and enabling when they are building that ark of protection around their family to see them saved. Seeing my own sons and their wives now with their own children, nurturing them and teaching them God’s ways, and blessed to know so many other young couples that are doing the same thing, well, it’s hard to describe the feelings of gratitude and joy it brings. Is raising a child hard work?? You bet. Will there be some pain and hurt along the way?? Likely. But oh is it worth it, especially when you know it’s all because of God’s great grace.

Just remember Noah.

Long, Dry Summer

All summer long I have fought to pick up the pen. There have been days I thought I would explode if I did not. I was wakened in the middle of the night with things on my heart and mind, but could not put them in words. It was back in May when I last posted, shortly after Ronnie was killed.

As May ran into June, my emotions for a while were much like those late Spring and early Summer days…very unpredictable. In the 15 years we’ve lived here in these West Virginia mountains I’ve learned one thing, the weather can and will change very quickly. I identified this year with the message of the seasons, to expect the unexpected. In just a short span of time I went from heartbreak to overwhelming joy, and several ranges in between.

Some days it was hard to think clearly. The days were rapidly racing by, and where was I? Somewhere on the sidelines trying to get a grip.

Just as each season offers its unique characteristic to savor and enjoy, each experience brings with it an opportunity to learn more, to love deeper, and to laugh often. And laugh I must, for “a merry heart doeth good like a medicine.” (Roger and I took an online stress test. His results: you are stress free for life, but you’re driving everyone else crazy! My results: you need medication NOW!! What do they know???)

As I look back over the last few months I am aware of just how fragile life really is. I am quieted when remembering how painful and yet how joyful the moments can be. I am amazed with my unchanging God and His faithfulness in my life and in the lives of many I cherish.

Ronnie’s mom, sister and nephew have been coming to church. We have seen several of our “ranch” guys trust Christ and after discipling, are ready to be baptized in October. We welcomed our 8th grandchild into the world, a miracle baby, after Rebecca experienced a 7-week long hospital stay. We have prayed and watched as God continues to keep His healing hand on little Ephraim Josiah, overcoming all odds against him; and on Seth and Rebecca with the challenges they have faced and continue to face with their precious gift. We also rejoiced with Brent and Tonia as little Naomi made her entrance shortly after Ephraim. Our nephew was here for the summer, and as quickly as he came, he returned home. Rog and I celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary with a few days away to reflect on the years and blessings, the children and now grandchildren, the friends…all that God has given us together. Even with the few heartaches along the way, it really has been a wonderful life.

We wrapped up the summer with school shopping for our 10 guys, and a week long “Ranch vacation” in a beautiful cabin on the Little Pigeon River in Pigeon Forge, TN.

Autumn quickly approaches now with its beauty and brisk weather, and I’m sure it will bring its own unexpected changes and challenges. When the world gets a little crazy as it can now and then, I will need a pleasant place to plant my feet and get a grip. Christ is both that Person and that Place. He is gently leading through the changing seasons.


“You are my hiding place.” Psalm 32: 7a