Our grandson, Elijah, has been quite fascinated with reindeer this Christmas season. Rudolph was the first Christmas special we watched. His stuffed Rudolph goes everywhere…everywhere! He can spot them a mile away, in a yard, a store window. Every animal from farm cows to jungle cats has imaginatively doubled as reindeer complete with names.
So when Rog made a trip up into the attic to check on the furnace and called down to me, “Hey, there are reindeer up here!” well, Elijah was at the bottom of the ladder in a split second, wide-eyed and waiting. I yelled up, “Sure there are!”
“No, I’m serious, there are reindeer up here! And a sleigh, and…what do you know, a Santa??? I quickly climbed the ladder only to meet the first reindeer face to face as he started to hand it down. Over 12 years we have lived in this house with no knowledge of reindeer in the attic. They obviously had belonged to the previous owners, but had evidently been abandoned or forgotten to the dark, cold attic corner.
Well, they are now in the yard…minus the Santa; he landed a spot on the back deck as a door mat. But the reindeer? They found a spot out front near the spiral lit Christmas trees that very night.
Life is just full of surprises, isn’t it? From our earthly perspective at least . I know God has a sense of humor. He used reindeer in my attic to remind me not to let the grinches and grumpies of this world rob me of His joy and simple pleasures that may be closer than I think.
I have a sneaking suspicion that outside of the grace of God and His joy made available to me I could easily become one of those grinches or grumpies. And I know exactly what “gets my goat”. Selfishness, rudeness, injustices, inconsistencies, arrogance…and I guess I should add being judgmental right? Hey, I look in the mirror often. That’s one reason I’m so easily frustrated. I know what the Word of God is capable of…it has transformed me. And even though many would likely say I’ve a ways to go, I’m not what I used to be, and don’t want to be. I can’t imagine life any other way. But I let God deal with that and continue to draw me closer to Himself. The greater the focus on the person of Christ, the less the fretting over things, situations, people…I cannot change or control. Especially the little things that might appear huge at the moment but really…they’re little in the light of eternity. But it’s not like God is unaware of even the huge things. How fruitless to fret! And I am the one that loses if my joy is sapped.
I’m not the only one who’s learned the power of this truth. Opening a Christmas card today from a dear friend was another welcomed reminder of how very much she taught me about joy years ago. And she’s never let it go. On the front of her card, “Joy” in large red script. Her message, her strength in very dark times, was and continues to be “joy”, joy in Jesus. Joy in Him, not in what He chooses to do or not do for us when we think we can’t go on, but a depth of joy that waits and trusts and prays, for years! It strengthens you to conquer the ups and downs, to accept what comes from His hand, and sees God do awesome things. And there are others…they have chosen joy in Jesus as a reality in their lives in spite of their circumstances, their hurts. They’re an inspiration and have taught me so much.
Sure, choosing joy is going to be challenged every now and then. And there are plenty of heartaches and hurts and headaches to go around. Read the newspaper, go to the mall, go to work! But don’t give up. Keep joy alive. Maybe this Christmas joy can reign, even with the same old ornaments, the same old Christmas music, the same old Christmas routine….Christmas programs, Christmas shopping, the cooking and baking and wrapping and rushing. And yes, the same people, maybe even family. Ask God to open your eyes to see differently. Ask Him to forgive the sins of irritation, frustration, impatience, doubt, anger, arrogance, whatever it might be. Tell him you want the joy. You might have to tell Him often. But you may just find it in a way you’re not expecting.
There may be reindeer in your attic.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Friday, November 19, 2010
Perfect Hatred
The Scripture speaks of “hating with a perfect hatred”. Theologians undoubtedly have explained it. I’m not sure I fully understand it but sometimes I’m sure I feel it.
Consider Psalms 139:21-22; “Do not I hate them O Lord that hate Thee? And am not I grieved with those that rise up against Thee? I hate them with perfect hatred: I count them mine enemies.”
Yes, I can feel it sometimes, but I quickly give it back to God because, in my raw emotion, to hold on to it would only fuel feelings better left with Him. My human hatred would be far from “perfect” and would likely be misdirected, unleashed on individuals rather than a world of failed, deceptive systems. It seems there’s always a ‘system’ at work that is supposed to have all the answers…a government system, an education system, a social services system, even a religious system. Even with all the good people out there and great programs available, they unfortunately fall miserably short of ever being able to meet humanity’s greatest need, a love-relationship with their Creator.
More importantly, the Enemy is not my cranky neighbor, or the teen with the purple hair and smart mouth, or the woman behind the desk whose hands are tied. It’s not even the cashier that sabotages my order at McDonald’s. How do you confuse mocha with caramel anyway?? But this isn’t about me being personally offended or needing a platform to strike back.
I look in the eyes of a teen that harbors a hardness of heart; I walk by a parked car in a parking lot and hear the foul language and the harshness and the meanness pouring from an adult’s mouth toward another, especially a child. I see the places people live, not because they have to but because they choose to, in the filth, the perversion, the drinking and drugging, the reckless sex, the noncommittal relationships, the materialism and pleasure-seeking. It’s the nothing-really-matters place, the until-something-better-comes-along place, the mind-your-own-business place, the going-nowhere-fast place. The grieving, the heaviness, like someone died… it’s there again; I’m incensed with the product of sin and selfishness, wickedness and a no-God-consciousness glaring me in the face.
I often even feel it rising to the surface when I see the carelessness and complacency of believers, those that won’t rely on the Word and the Spirit of God to draw them to Christlikeness. Rather, they’re allowing themselves to be strongly influenced by the world’s systems, their way of thinking. They’re slowly swallowing the philosophy of self-centeredness, the “it’s all about me” mentality. They can’t handle the thought of not being accepted, of appearing to be weird or outdated in their thinking, of not going along, fitting in or adapting to current trends. There’s a fear of questions being raised about their actions and attitudes, or about having a firm belief in anything and especially God. Everything has to be situational, or else there’s no way out when cornered to commit. Christ is Truth, yet truth is so lightly regarded. Self-importance is priority and will not allow for anything that might threaten it.
Yet, when they are weak and stumbling, being strangled by stress, or suffocating in the grip of some habit or desire, they wonder where God is. Worse yet, they see their children not having any desire to know God or live for Him and wonder why…the heaviness, there it is again. The hurt is even harder to handle, knowing there is a simple solution. Simple, yes, but costly. As in Jesus’ day there are some not willing to pay the price to follow Him (Mark 8:34; John 6:66-67).
Is there anything positive this “hatred” can accomplish? Yes, and there is a glorious dimension to it. It is to pray and trust and give and serve and live for Christ instead of dwelling on the darkness. It is to wait and expect and be excited to see the power of unconditional love take hold and begin to melt a hard heart; it is to watch as the saving grace of Christ is appropriated and a life is changed; it is the thrill when God intervenes on behalf of His children and miracles happen! It’s the peace that comes with a quiet acceptance of the sovereignty of God, an understanding of His love and care that is difficult to explain but divinely intoxicating to experience. It’s to praise Him and be genuinely thankful when others come to know Him as you do.
A perfect God with perfect hatred will mete out perfect justice in His perfect time. I give my hatred to Him. I am grateful for His perfect love. Others can know His perfect love. It’s so perfect and real that it overwhelms me. Righteous hatred births humility, unconditional love, and a burning passion for others to know and live for the Savior.
“You who love the LORD, hate evil!” Psalm 97: 10 NKJV
Consider Psalms 139:21-22; “Do not I hate them O Lord that hate Thee? And am not I grieved with those that rise up against Thee? I hate them with perfect hatred: I count them mine enemies.”
Yes, I can feel it sometimes, but I quickly give it back to God because, in my raw emotion, to hold on to it would only fuel feelings better left with Him. My human hatred would be far from “perfect” and would likely be misdirected, unleashed on individuals rather than a world of failed, deceptive systems. It seems there’s always a ‘system’ at work that is supposed to have all the answers…a government system, an education system, a social services system, even a religious system. Even with all the good people out there and great programs available, they unfortunately fall miserably short of ever being able to meet humanity’s greatest need, a love-relationship with their Creator.
More importantly, the Enemy is not my cranky neighbor, or the teen with the purple hair and smart mouth, or the woman behind the desk whose hands are tied. It’s not even the cashier that sabotages my order at McDonald’s. How do you confuse mocha with caramel anyway?? But this isn’t about me being personally offended or needing a platform to strike back.
I look in the eyes of a teen that harbors a hardness of heart; I walk by a parked car in a parking lot and hear the foul language and the harshness and the meanness pouring from an adult’s mouth toward another, especially a child. I see the places people live, not because they have to but because they choose to, in the filth, the perversion, the drinking and drugging, the reckless sex, the noncommittal relationships, the materialism and pleasure-seeking. It’s the nothing-really-matters place, the until-something-better-comes-along place, the mind-your-own-business place, the going-nowhere-fast place. The grieving, the heaviness, like someone died… it’s there again; I’m incensed with the product of sin and selfishness, wickedness and a no-God-consciousness glaring me in the face.
I often even feel it rising to the surface when I see the carelessness and complacency of believers, those that won’t rely on the Word and the Spirit of God to draw them to Christlikeness. Rather, they’re allowing themselves to be strongly influenced by the world’s systems, their way of thinking. They’re slowly swallowing the philosophy of self-centeredness, the “it’s all about me” mentality. They can’t handle the thought of not being accepted, of appearing to be weird or outdated in their thinking, of not going along, fitting in or adapting to current trends. There’s a fear of questions being raised about their actions and attitudes, or about having a firm belief in anything and especially God. Everything has to be situational, or else there’s no way out when cornered to commit. Christ is Truth, yet truth is so lightly regarded. Self-importance is priority and will not allow for anything that might threaten it.
Yet, when they are weak and stumbling, being strangled by stress, or suffocating in the grip of some habit or desire, they wonder where God is. Worse yet, they see their children not having any desire to know God or live for Him and wonder why…the heaviness, there it is again. The hurt is even harder to handle, knowing there is a simple solution. Simple, yes, but costly. As in Jesus’ day there are some not willing to pay the price to follow Him (Mark 8:34; John 6:66-67).
Is there anything positive this “hatred” can accomplish? Yes, and there is a glorious dimension to it. It is to pray and trust and give and serve and live for Christ instead of dwelling on the darkness. It is to wait and expect and be excited to see the power of unconditional love take hold and begin to melt a hard heart; it is to watch as the saving grace of Christ is appropriated and a life is changed; it is the thrill when God intervenes on behalf of His children and miracles happen! It’s the peace that comes with a quiet acceptance of the sovereignty of God, an understanding of His love and care that is difficult to explain but divinely intoxicating to experience. It’s to praise Him and be genuinely thankful when others come to know Him as you do.
A perfect God with perfect hatred will mete out perfect justice in His perfect time. I give my hatred to Him. I am grateful for His perfect love. Others can know His perfect love. It’s so perfect and real that it overwhelms me. Righteous hatred births humility, unconditional love, and a burning passion for others to know and live for the Savior.
“You who love the LORD, hate evil!” Psalm 97: 10 NKJV
Monday, November 1, 2010
After an intensely oppressive Saturday, Sunday was a breath of fresh air!! It was as if God had opened a window...I could breathe freely, see clearly, pray openly without the terrible struggle. Christ was so very near in morning worship. In fact, the reminders of His nearness were every where; in the prayers of people, in the fellowship, in the message, in the songs...especially in the songs: "Near to the Heart of God"; "Draw me Nearer"; "Nearer my God to Thee".
A friend had spent time in prayer with me; my sons had called to check on me and were quick to encourage with Scripture and prayer. My husband had offered support and encouragement, and went beyond just "sharing the load". Finally, I was able to go to bed around 11:30 p.m. exhausted, but with joy and a quiet confidence that God was at work. Even during the night, I woke several times only to have a number of people come to mind that I knew were going through terribly challenging times. The Lord impressed me to consider that my spiritual struggle may not have been just about me, and I prayed.
Such a marked difference the two days were! There was a spirit of calm in the cottage, not the incessant bickering and edginess. My heaviness of the previous day was gone, and my emotions had survived the gamut they had experienced. Even into Monday, there was indication that God was still working in so many ways. The Chris Tomlin song, "Indescribable" comes to mind..."awestuck we fall to our knees and we humbly proclaim, you are amazing God".
"Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the powere of His might. Put on the whole armour of God that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the the evil day, and having done all, to stand."
I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me.
Standing.
A friend had spent time in prayer with me; my sons had called to check on me and were quick to encourage with Scripture and prayer. My husband had offered support and encouragement, and went beyond just "sharing the load". Finally, I was able to go to bed around 11:30 p.m. exhausted, but with joy and a quiet confidence that God was at work. Even during the night, I woke several times only to have a number of people come to mind that I knew were going through terribly challenging times. The Lord impressed me to consider that my spiritual struggle may not have been just about me, and I prayed.
Such a marked difference the two days were! There was a spirit of calm in the cottage, not the incessant bickering and edginess. My heaviness of the previous day was gone, and my emotions had survived the gamut they had experienced. Even into Monday, there was indication that God was still working in so many ways. The Chris Tomlin song, "Indescribable" comes to mind..."awestuck we fall to our knees and we humbly proclaim, you are amazing God".
"Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the powere of His might. Put on the whole armour of God that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the the evil day, and having done all, to stand."
I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me.
Standing.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
What a day it has been. Just one 24-hour day?? First not wanting to talk to a soul, then wanting to share everything with anyone that would listen. The highs and lows have been just that; first joy then a heavy heart. It has been a while since I've fought a spiritual battle this intense. And that is what it has been, a spiritual battle. Each time I would sense the onslaught, I would go to the Scripture, spend time earnestly praying...and each time within hours, God impressed someone to contact me with the exact same message He had for me in His Word and in prayer. It reassured me of His presence; it encouraged me to be strong; it made me laugh out loud!
I posted on fb this morning:
I looked out over the pond, and then across those beautiful hills. There was a frost on the ground and the color was fading...but the sky was as blue as could be!And so clearly the thought came..."this joy that I have, the world didn't give it and the world can't take it away".
The Lord knew the many concerns of my heart in recent days.
Another post later:
so, no sooner had I meditated on the joy that the world can't take away...Satan must have determined, "but I can sure make you try to give it up!"
I then went on to comment on the old saying..."and that's when all Hades broke loose!" I experienced a direct hit on my joy bucket!!
One of my sons had been talking to me earlier this week about that very thing...how so many believers are robbed of their joy, and they are rendered useless. If there is one thing I don't want to be, it's useless; all the "D" words...defeated, discouraged, distraught, damaged, disillusioned...I'm sure there are more, but "good grief" (thanks, Peanuts! love 'em) that's enough!
Life is full; life is good; life is meaningful...and too short to sit and sour over any and everything! I know...crazy. at least by the standard of those that don't operate within this realm. It's hard to explain. Maybe I shouldn't be sharing it at all. It's just been a day I will remember for a while. So intense, so....good. Only because I know I've been stretched. And, even when there will likely be hell's fury to face on yet another day, I woke up with joy, and praise God I'm going to bed with joy.
"...the joy of the Lord is your strength" (Neh 8:10)
I posted on fb this morning:
I looked out over the pond, and then across those beautiful hills. There was a frost on the ground and the color was fading...but the sky was as blue as could be!And so clearly the thought came..."this joy that I have, the world didn't give it and the world can't take it away".
The Lord knew the many concerns of my heart in recent days.
Another post later:
so, no sooner had I meditated on the joy that the world can't take away...Satan must have determined, "but I can sure make you try to give it up!"
I then went on to comment on the old saying..."and that's when all Hades broke loose!" I experienced a direct hit on my joy bucket!!
One of my sons had been talking to me earlier this week about that very thing...how so many believers are robbed of their joy, and they are rendered useless. If there is one thing I don't want to be, it's useless; all the "D" words...defeated, discouraged, distraught, damaged, disillusioned...I'm sure there are more, but "good grief" (thanks, Peanuts! love 'em) that's enough!
Life is full; life is good; life is meaningful...and too short to sit and sour over any and everything! I know...crazy. at least by the standard of those that don't operate within this realm. It's hard to explain. Maybe I shouldn't be sharing it at all. It's just been a day I will remember for a while. So intense, so....good. Only because I know I've been stretched. And, even when there will likely be hell's fury to face on yet another day, I woke up with joy, and praise God I'm going to bed with joy.
"...the joy of the Lord is your strength" (Neh 8:10)
Thursday, August 26, 2010
the Chalk Drawing
As the chalk artist put the final touches on his drawing, I sat there in the pew struggling to even see it through the tears. It was beautiful, but it made me so angry. It showed Moses there on the top of Mount Pisgah looking out over ‘the Promised Land’. God was giving Moses an opportunity to see it, but he would not go in. In his face was the look of deep longing, but at the same time, acceptance and a depth of understanding and contentment. Had the artist really captured that, or was that just what I was seeing?
That was over 30 years ago, but I remember so vividly the strong emotion, the questions that filled me as I went over the story in my mind. What a struggle raged in me; and it would have to be settled before leaving the church that evening. Somehow I knew this was not just about Moses. This was about where I was going in my relationship with God from that point forward. Would I be able to trust Him to do right? At the time, what He chose for Moses just didn’t seem quite fair to me. Yes, Moses had made some mistakes; he had sinned. But he had been forgiven, right? God used him in tremendous ways as a great leader. He had done so much, put up with so much. I didn’t understand it all then, but I did know that faith involved trusting even when I didn’t understand. But that would mean I wouldn’t be in control anymore. God would have to be.
Things have always been so black and white for me; cut and dried, yes or no, all or nothing, no middle of the road. So if I took this step I knew there was no turning back regardless of where it took me. And deep down that’s what I wanted, something genuine, something bigger than me, something with meaning and purpose, but at what cost? Jesus was trying to show me that my relationship with Him could be more than just knowing I was going to heaven when I died. It could be more than just knowing the Bible stories, more than just being “a pretty good person”. But I would have to learn what it meant to really trust Him and trust His ways. I went forward that night to affirm my decision and left that evening knowing my life had taken a significant turn. I was able to surrender my anger, my disbelief at how God had chosen to deal with Moses. I was able to tell Him I wanted to trust, but I would need His help.
A lot of years have passed. I’m grateful for the lessons learned, the love and hunger the Lord gave me for His Word, the wise and mentoring women He has allowed me to know and be impacted by. And every time I have trusted Him, with everything from life-changing decisions to my daily routine and everything in between…He has proven I can trust Him more. I can trust Him for guidance. I can trust Him with relationships. I can trust Him when life’s events just don’t make any sense to me. I can trust Him with all the inconsistencies and unfairness. I can trust Him with the choices and philosophies and behaviors of others that I cannot control or change. And I must confess this is my greatest challenge. I’m the one that sees things cut and dried, black and white, remember? So things are either right or they are wrong. Sometimes the frustration and irritation, the disappointment and disillusionment, is a major battle, because it often appears that gray is the choice of color for so many. I must continually rely on the Lord for His patience, understanding, and resolve when mine is slipping away. Am I the only one that just wants to “shake some sense” into people every once in a while??? But that’s not my job. My job is not to set right all the wrongs. My job is not to champion all the causes. My job is not to make others simply do the right thing (simply??). That’s God’s job, and I must let Him do His job. My responsibility, my great blessing, is to trust, yielding to Him with a willing acceptance.
“Shall not the Judge of all the earth do right?” (Genesis 18:25) Yes, but at times it seems as though it won’t be in my lifetime! And that may be so, but that is His business. In my passion , when I resort to the ways of the ‘Sons of Thunder’ and just want to ‘call fire down from heaven’, I am quickly humbled with God’s patient care of me and find myself asking Jesus for His holy sweetness (I am quite aware I will not melt in a downpour!).
The chalk artist left a drawing with the host pastor that night, who later became my father-in-law. When packing for a move to another ministry, Dad decided to give the drawing to me. Unrolling the canvas, I should not have been surprised to find it was ‘my Moses’ picture! God has such a sense of humor. Seeing it this time however, stirred no anger, only a warm acceptance and gratitude. The drawing is long gone, lost in the many moves and turns my life has taken. The message etched on my heart that night remains. I don’t always understand His ways, but I don’t doubt His love. It is strong and forever. I am confident He will always do what is right and what is best. He has proven it over and over again.
I can trust Him.
That was over 30 years ago, but I remember so vividly the strong emotion, the questions that filled me as I went over the story in my mind. What a struggle raged in me; and it would have to be settled before leaving the church that evening. Somehow I knew this was not just about Moses. This was about where I was going in my relationship with God from that point forward. Would I be able to trust Him to do right? At the time, what He chose for Moses just didn’t seem quite fair to me. Yes, Moses had made some mistakes; he had sinned. But he had been forgiven, right? God used him in tremendous ways as a great leader. He had done so much, put up with so much. I didn’t understand it all then, but I did know that faith involved trusting even when I didn’t understand. But that would mean I wouldn’t be in control anymore. God would have to be.
Things have always been so black and white for me; cut and dried, yes or no, all or nothing, no middle of the road. So if I took this step I knew there was no turning back regardless of where it took me. And deep down that’s what I wanted, something genuine, something bigger than me, something with meaning and purpose, but at what cost? Jesus was trying to show me that my relationship with Him could be more than just knowing I was going to heaven when I died. It could be more than just knowing the Bible stories, more than just being “a pretty good person”. But I would have to learn what it meant to really trust Him and trust His ways. I went forward that night to affirm my decision and left that evening knowing my life had taken a significant turn. I was able to surrender my anger, my disbelief at how God had chosen to deal with Moses. I was able to tell Him I wanted to trust, but I would need His help.
A lot of years have passed. I’m grateful for the lessons learned, the love and hunger the Lord gave me for His Word, the wise and mentoring women He has allowed me to know and be impacted by. And every time I have trusted Him, with everything from life-changing decisions to my daily routine and everything in between…He has proven I can trust Him more. I can trust Him for guidance. I can trust Him with relationships. I can trust Him when life’s events just don’t make any sense to me. I can trust Him with all the inconsistencies and unfairness. I can trust Him with the choices and philosophies and behaviors of others that I cannot control or change. And I must confess this is my greatest challenge. I’m the one that sees things cut and dried, black and white, remember? So things are either right or they are wrong. Sometimes the frustration and irritation, the disappointment and disillusionment, is a major battle, because it often appears that gray is the choice of color for so many. I must continually rely on the Lord for His patience, understanding, and resolve when mine is slipping away. Am I the only one that just wants to “shake some sense” into people every once in a while??? But that’s not my job. My job is not to set right all the wrongs. My job is not to champion all the causes. My job is not to make others simply do the right thing (simply??). That’s God’s job, and I must let Him do His job. My responsibility, my great blessing, is to trust, yielding to Him with a willing acceptance.
“Shall not the Judge of all the earth do right?” (Genesis 18:25) Yes, but at times it seems as though it won’t be in my lifetime! And that may be so, but that is His business. In my passion , when I resort to the ways of the ‘Sons of Thunder’ and just want to ‘call fire down from heaven’, I am quickly humbled with God’s patient care of me and find myself asking Jesus for His holy sweetness (I am quite aware I will not melt in a downpour!).
The chalk artist left a drawing with the host pastor that night, who later became my father-in-law. When packing for a move to another ministry, Dad decided to give the drawing to me. Unrolling the canvas, I should not have been surprised to find it was ‘my Moses’ picture! God has such a sense of humor. Seeing it this time however, stirred no anger, only a warm acceptance and gratitude. The drawing is long gone, lost in the many moves and turns my life has taken. The message etched on my heart that night remains. I don’t always understand His ways, but I don’t doubt His love. It is strong and forever. I am confident He will always do what is right and what is best. He has proven it over and over again.
I can trust Him.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
The Stethoscope
Anyone else might have thought the question was quite random, but I knew it was the Lord at work in the details once again.
My son Seth and his wife Rebecca were being trained on the ins and outs of the nasal port (feeding tube) their son Ephraim was now requiring. A “kidney baby”, he was now losing weight and quite rapidly, so this was necessary if he was to remain on track for the kidney transplant. In the training it was brought to their attention that a stethoscope would be needed to make sure placement was accurate and to lessen injury with insertion and removal of the tube. It would be expensive to purchase, and at the time, insurance was not covering all the extras. The disposable one used by the home health nurse was only for training purposes; they would have to have their own.
When Seth replied, “I have one,” the questioning look on the face of the home health nurse was obvious and somewhat humorous. After all, not just everyone had a stethoscope lying around for no reason, especially a counseling major working at a bank.
But that’s where the Sovereign God of details comes in. At one time Seth had considered medicine as a career choice and was accepted into Marshall University’s pre-med program. The Christmas of his senior year in high school his grandmother gave him a stethoscope. This stethoscope had a history behind it, having belonged to a co-worker of hers. Living and working in a rural county in Virginia, she was surprised to learn that her co-worker had also attended Marshall University in West Virginia. But developments after a stint oversees practicing medicine stirred him in another direction after returning to the states. He had given her the stethoscope and told her to pass it on to her grandson in the hopes that it would still be found useful and perhaps be an encouragement to him during any challenging days he might encounter. Little did he know!
After Seth’s first year he also began sensing a change in the direction he should take and determined that medicine was not it. When sharing this with me and his dad I immediately thought of the stethoscope. Once again it seemed its fate would be to land in a drawer somewhere unused. But we wanted nothing more than to support him in his decision, knowing he had made it a matter of prayer. His grandmother would also be a bit disappointed at first but would also encourage him to follow what he knew in his heart was the right choice.
So, enter the present situation…Seth’s son was in need of a stethoscope. And he knew he had one. I know, coincidence, right? Perhaps. But when I answered the phone and he said, “Mom, I know this is kind of random, but do you still have my stethoscope?” I was able to tell him it was still hanging in his room just where it was when he left. He then went on to explain why it was needed. As he talked I couldn’t help but think that years earlier God knew Seth would be in need of a stethoscope and had provided it. It had not been used by him to this point, but it would be now, and in caring for his own son!
With all the challenges they had already faced with Ephraim, and all the miracles God had performed on this child, all the prayers answered, yet He had chosen not to provide a complete healing. Rather, along the way as each need surfaced, including while still in his mother’s womb, God had intervened. With the Lord’s hand on him, Ephraim had survived the pregnancy against all odds, survived a dry birth without any of the infections or complications normally associated with it, avoided dialysis, and for over a year his little abnormal, barely functioning kidney had sustained him. When the weight loss started and it was determined that his kidneys were now failing, once again God intervened. Problems developed with the feeding tube early on when the regulator kept malfunctioning. A chest port surgery had been scheduled but was 3 weeks away. When they were told nothing more could be done until the upcoming surgery they decided to join the rest of the family on vacation at the beach. It was hard to watch Ephraim become more frail each day, but at least we would all be able to face it together.
So, there at our special beach retreat on the Outer Banks, where so many wonderful times had already been spent together (including Seth and Rebecca’s wedding), the brothers and their families, along with Rog and myself and Seth’s paternal grandmother, gathered together and prayed over Ephraim shortly after they arrived. What a precious time. And then I remembered… the stethoscope! I had brought it with me and wanted to make sure I gave it to them. While everyone continued sharing and encouraging and just enjoying the moment, Rebecca’s phone rang. It was her home health nurse…also on vacation! The on-call nurse had called her and explained what was happening, asking for any suggestions. She had one last idea for them to try to get this regulator functioning properly. If that didn’t work, she didn’t know what else to tell them.
Well, not only did it work and Ephraim started getting a full feeding each night, but he started eating again through the day…everything in sight!! By the end of the week he had gained a pound and a half!
I knew there would likely be more challenges for them to face in the coming months if a transplant was in God’s plan. I also knew I had to let “my boys” and their beautiful wives and children…(my grandchildren!)...go back to their own homes, their own ministries, some hundreds, some thousands of miles away until the next time, whenever that might be. But it was ok. We had shared a precious time together, and God was in it all, every detail.
And Seth had his stethoscope.
My son Seth and his wife Rebecca were being trained on the ins and outs of the nasal port (feeding tube) their son Ephraim was now requiring. A “kidney baby”, he was now losing weight and quite rapidly, so this was necessary if he was to remain on track for the kidney transplant. In the training it was brought to their attention that a stethoscope would be needed to make sure placement was accurate and to lessen injury with insertion and removal of the tube. It would be expensive to purchase, and at the time, insurance was not covering all the extras. The disposable one used by the home health nurse was only for training purposes; they would have to have their own.
When Seth replied, “I have one,” the questioning look on the face of the home health nurse was obvious and somewhat humorous. After all, not just everyone had a stethoscope lying around for no reason, especially a counseling major working at a bank.
But that’s where the Sovereign God of details comes in. At one time Seth had considered medicine as a career choice and was accepted into Marshall University’s pre-med program. The Christmas of his senior year in high school his grandmother gave him a stethoscope. This stethoscope had a history behind it, having belonged to a co-worker of hers. Living and working in a rural county in Virginia, she was surprised to learn that her co-worker had also attended Marshall University in West Virginia. But developments after a stint oversees practicing medicine stirred him in another direction after returning to the states. He had given her the stethoscope and told her to pass it on to her grandson in the hopes that it would still be found useful and perhaps be an encouragement to him during any challenging days he might encounter. Little did he know!
After Seth’s first year he also began sensing a change in the direction he should take and determined that medicine was not it. When sharing this with me and his dad I immediately thought of the stethoscope. Once again it seemed its fate would be to land in a drawer somewhere unused. But we wanted nothing more than to support him in his decision, knowing he had made it a matter of prayer. His grandmother would also be a bit disappointed at first but would also encourage him to follow what he knew in his heart was the right choice.
So, enter the present situation…Seth’s son was in need of a stethoscope. And he knew he had one. I know, coincidence, right? Perhaps. But when I answered the phone and he said, “Mom, I know this is kind of random, but do you still have my stethoscope?” I was able to tell him it was still hanging in his room just where it was when he left. He then went on to explain why it was needed. As he talked I couldn’t help but think that years earlier God knew Seth would be in need of a stethoscope and had provided it. It had not been used by him to this point, but it would be now, and in caring for his own son!
With all the challenges they had already faced with Ephraim, and all the miracles God had performed on this child, all the prayers answered, yet He had chosen not to provide a complete healing. Rather, along the way as each need surfaced, including while still in his mother’s womb, God had intervened. With the Lord’s hand on him, Ephraim had survived the pregnancy against all odds, survived a dry birth without any of the infections or complications normally associated with it, avoided dialysis, and for over a year his little abnormal, barely functioning kidney had sustained him. When the weight loss started and it was determined that his kidneys were now failing, once again God intervened. Problems developed with the feeding tube early on when the regulator kept malfunctioning. A chest port surgery had been scheduled but was 3 weeks away. When they were told nothing more could be done until the upcoming surgery they decided to join the rest of the family on vacation at the beach. It was hard to watch Ephraim become more frail each day, but at least we would all be able to face it together.
So, there at our special beach retreat on the Outer Banks, where so many wonderful times had already been spent together (including Seth and Rebecca’s wedding), the brothers and their families, along with Rog and myself and Seth’s paternal grandmother, gathered together and prayed over Ephraim shortly after they arrived. What a precious time. And then I remembered… the stethoscope! I had brought it with me and wanted to make sure I gave it to them. While everyone continued sharing and encouraging and just enjoying the moment, Rebecca’s phone rang. It was her home health nurse…also on vacation! The on-call nurse had called her and explained what was happening, asking for any suggestions. She had one last idea for them to try to get this regulator functioning properly. If that didn’t work, she didn’t know what else to tell them.
Well, not only did it work and Ephraim started getting a full feeding each night, but he started eating again through the day…everything in sight!! By the end of the week he had gained a pound and a half!
I knew there would likely be more challenges for them to face in the coming months if a transplant was in God’s plan. I also knew I had to let “my boys” and their beautiful wives and children…(my grandchildren!)...go back to their own homes, their own ministries, some hundreds, some thousands of miles away until the next time, whenever that might be. But it was ok. We had shared a precious time together, and God was in it all, every detail.
And Seth had his stethoscope.
Friday, May 7, 2010
“Let the peace of God rule….Let the word of Christ dwell…”
From Colossians 3
What a battle the will is known to wage at times. I know what the Scripture says. I know what God desires for me. I want this peace in my heart that is spoken of. I just want God to DO something…change my situation…change other people…that I might have this inner peace, when all along the determining factor for having that peace or not having it, lies with me.
How many imperatives are given in Colossians 3 alone: set; mortify; put off; put on; forgive, let…??? Having the peace of God rule in my heart begins with choosing to take a personal look at my role in this reality.
If I’m honest with myself, I can find it easy to justify holding on to my unrest based on what I feel is the responsibility of others to STOP IRRITATING ME. Why can’t people just do what they’re supposed to do? Why can’t people just be responsible and kind and considerate and respectful and patient and honest, and unselfish…and, wait! I can’t control these behaviors in others, but the behaviors of others do not have to control me. I have a privilege, a high calling…to honor my Savior by choosing to do as He asks. That in itself should be reason enough to “let”, but amazingly in my obedience, He eliminates the inner turmoil, the frustration, the anger, the irritation that I experience by holding on, by reacting, by expecting something of others that is not mine to control.
Easier said than done? Probably. But that’s not the issue. So, how? How do I practically apply this “letting” principle? It’s a conscious, determined effort. Once the will chooses to redirect the mind’s thinking, the emotions and feelings are easier brought into check. Make it a step by step process…stop, step back, step forward.
Stop: take a moment to stop what you’re doing, what you’re thinking, and deliberately change your thoughts and actions. Verbalize it if necessary. Make a declaration…I will be patient with others, I will change what I can, and let go what I cannot. I will…
Step back: take a deep breath, think on Scripture, pray, releasing your FEELINGS to the Lord. Receive all He promises about the situation…wisdom, strength, patience, whatever it is.
Step forward: go on with your day, doing what needs to be done. Praise the Lord for His abiding presence and work in your life, for what He has done TO you.
It’s just like God to take all I bring to Him in unrest, and turn it into beautiful peace.
What a battle the will is known to wage at times. I know what the Scripture says. I know what God desires for me. I want this peace in my heart that is spoken of. I just want God to DO something…change my situation…change other people…that I might have this inner peace, when all along the determining factor for having that peace or not having it, lies with me.
How many imperatives are given in Colossians 3 alone: set; mortify; put off; put on; forgive, let…??? Having the peace of God rule in my heart begins with choosing to take a personal look at my role in this reality.
If I’m honest with myself, I can find it easy to justify holding on to my unrest based on what I feel is the responsibility of others to STOP IRRITATING ME. Why can’t people just do what they’re supposed to do? Why can’t people just be responsible and kind and considerate and respectful and patient and honest, and unselfish…and, wait! I can’t control these behaviors in others, but the behaviors of others do not have to control me. I have a privilege, a high calling…to honor my Savior by choosing to do as He asks. That in itself should be reason enough to “let”, but amazingly in my obedience, He eliminates the inner turmoil, the frustration, the anger, the irritation that I experience by holding on, by reacting, by expecting something of others that is not mine to control.
Easier said than done? Probably. But that’s not the issue. So, how? How do I practically apply this “letting” principle? It’s a conscious, determined effort. Once the will chooses to redirect the mind’s thinking, the emotions and feelings are easier brought into check. Make it a step by step process…stop, step back, step forward.
Stop: take a moment to stop what you’re doing, what you’re thinking, and deliberately change your thoughts and actions. Verbalize it if necessary. Make a declaration…I will be patient with others, I will change what I can, and let go what I cannot. I will…
Step back: take a deep breath, think on Scripture, pray, releasing your FEELINGS to the Lord. Receive all He promises about the situation…wisdom, strength, patience, whatever it is.
Step forward: go on with your day, doing what needs to be done. Praise the Lord for His abiding presence and work in your life, for what He has done TO you.
It’s just like God to take all I bring to Him in unrest, and turn it into beautiful peace.
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