"Since God is a patient God, when we abandon patience we miss the opportunity to show our world the glory of God through our lives. Bursts of impatience only demonstrate that we are more concerned with our own agendas than the needs and struggles of others. So let’s take a deep breath and turn our focus away from ourselves by patiently loving others in the midst of stress. Be patient. Show your world what God is really like.” (Our Daily Bread, 9-25-08)

Waiting. On first thought, I considered myself a pretty patient person. I seldom become exasperated waiting in the Walmart line…I always pick the wrong one anyway; I seldom fall victim to road rage…I know there are very few perfect drivers like myself; long waits in lobbies for a doctor’s appointment…no problem, I usually get engrossed in a magazine article I rarely get to finish as it is.

But as I contemplated further, I realized that most of my waiting had been done in seasons, some of them quite long. And patience did not always have its perfect work while trusting God to work.

I prayed, and fretted, and saw God do a lot of changing in my own heart and life while waiting for nearly ten years to seemy parents turn fully to God. By the time my own children were old enough to really get to know and love their grandparents, they were different people than they had been as my parents. But that took time, and God’s great grace.

I prayed, and fretted, and saw God do a lot of changing in my own heart while waiting for years to see God heal a bitter relationship between my mother and my grandmother. They were both finally able to see the Lord help them set aside a lifetime of pain and hurt, and experience love and acceptance and forgiveness before the Lord took my grandmother home. But that took time, and God’s great grace.

I prayed, and fretted, and saw God do a lot of changing in my own heart while waiting several years to see change and healing come to a church, and us ultimately directed to another ministry in another part of the country. I could not see it at the time, but would we have been open to relocating under other circumstances? That took time, and God’s great grace.

Once again, I prayed, I fretted, I pleaded with God for nearly three years to open a door of escape when I was in a situation I thought I could not endure much longer. The hurt, the disappointment, the spiritual abuse that I saw taking place, the oppression, the anger, all the self-examination and near despondency when God was silent. All that, to see God in one swift move, take me higher and give me what I did not think possible. All the tears, all the grieving, then joy and contentment. But that took time, and God’s great grace.

My son Aaron recently called and left a quote on my voicemail: “God is most glorified in me when I am most satisfied in Him, even in suffering.” Isn’t that the very core of patience, being satisfied in Him?

“Knowing this, that the trying of your faith works patience, but let patience have her perfect work that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting [lacking] nothing”, James 1: 3-4.

A Leap of Faith

“Ye also, as living stones, are being built up as a spiritual house…to offer up spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.” I Peter 2:5

Some days I don’t feel like I’m being built up. Some days I feel more like life is beating me down. When life gets complicated, when burdens get heavy, when I get tired, disappointed, it’s so easy for my focus to shift from joy in Jesus to unruly unrest.

Faith needs to be continually exercised and spiritual stamina bolstered because life is demanding. Just when I think my faith has been challenged, and stretched, and tested to the limit, God begins to change the limit and move me forward! The goal? To build me up.

This is more often than not, uncomfortable, even painful. But this is both the mystery and strength of faith. We don’t set the limits! God does. And if our faith is resting in Him, it will be enough. I can always count on Him, and on His Word to provide the stability I need amidst all the unrest.

I am experiencing God’s perfect timing in the work of faith He is doing in me again. As if to remind me of what’s happening, when I am in need of “being built up”, Rog gets to the book of Hebrews in his chronological study of the Scripture that he has been taking us through at church. It’s one thing to read of the victories and triumphs, all accomplished by faith, but the turn that triumph takes in Hebrews 11: 35 is a heart-stopper; “Women received their dead raised to life again; and others were tortured, not accepting deliverance….and others….they were stoned, they were torn asunder….”. Not exactly what we might first consider triumphant faith.

Sounds like they were a little beaten down themselves.

God says they all obtained a good report through faith (v. 39).

As a “living stone”, I do not want my faith to stagnate. I want my faith to be strong, and vibrant, and active. But I must trust a loving Father to determine the path my faith will take in its triumph, and determine to trust Him. A painful triumph is still a triumph. A vibrant, built-up faith will be a sacrifice God will be pleased to accept and honor.

It’s time to take another leap of faith.

Do you love me?

I had begun to question my love for the children that God has entrusted to Rog and me to care for. I can't help but get attached, personally involved; I can't help but love them. And when they make poor choices, I hurt for them, but don't tire of them. It only serves to increase my awareness of their great need, and I love them even more. But when they leave, often with no notice, no closure, it's very difficult.

Most don't understand the tears. And because they come often, some might be tempted to see me as an emotional mess. It was the same when I was teaching. In fact, another teacher once told me I'd be much better off to distance myself from the children (whatever that means), and just enjoy teaching the material. But I wasn't there to simply teach material. I was there to teach children.

Still, I understand the need to keep a balance and let the Spirit of God rule rather than my emotions. I felt in my heart this was true for me, but needed the reassurance from the Word to quiet my heart and keep me from discouragement. I needed to know that my feelings had not been able to overshadow my judgment, as strong as they sometimes could be.

So, I opened my Bible for my morning devotions, and there was the answer I had been asking the Lord for. "Do you love me? ...Feed my sheep" John 21:15-17. After reading the passage, a pointed question in Our Daily Bread for the day got my attention; "Jesus didn't ask Peter if he loved His sheep, but if he loved Him." Once Peter affirmed his love for Christ, he was told to feed His sheep.

Loving Jesus with all my heart, and allowing Him to love them through me, deepens my love from simply an emotion to a purposeful action of Christ Himself. It provides the balance and the motivation to continue loving, in spite of the hurt, in spite of the misunderstanding.

All at once I knew that if I ever lost this passion, it would be my love for Christ that would first be in question, not my love for others. And that's not what I ever want to happen. So, to keep it all in perspective I will return to this question often..."Do you love me?"

Camping by the Waters

What a flurry of activity we have had this summer! School will be starting in just a couple of weeks. We started the summer with Seth and Rebecca's wedding over Memorial weekend, and a precious time with all the family. We've experienced the excitement of the news that two new grandbabies are on the way - Aaron and Martha in October, and Josh and Christina in February. The month of June was just a blur as we spent extended time "on cottage" at the ranch so that all other staff could rotate their vacation times as well. Then, 4th of July festivities, Ashley and Adam's wedding and Bible school which included time with our twin nephews. July was also the beginning of Operation De-clutter I started calling it...a time of cleaning house, complete with an ordered dumpster that we filled!

August began with another wedding (Tara and Jamie's), time with Brent and Tonia and a trip to River Valley Ranch in Md to see Aaron. He flew in from Maui for a week of teen camp as the speaker. How awesome to see him "in action" with the teens and their tremendous response to the messages and to him personally. They just love him. We would see him during the day with his Bible sitting on the bridge or a picnic table with a flock of teens around him, and just thank the Lord. It was also great to be back at RVR after a couple of summers, seeing the Lord working, and then visiting with some special people there. Because we were in Bible school over our
29th anniversary, Rog and I took an extra day for ourselves on the way back, making a stop at Harper's Ferry (visiting historical sights is one of our favorite things!)for the afternoon. We came home and returned to our projects here at home. After somewhat of a color dilemna, we went for a bold change in the living room and painted, chocolate and sage! Rog wondered why the shade of green, but we both love it! Now just the kitchen and downstairs to go!

On the ride home, we looked back over our summer and considered how wonderfully blessed we are. We also considered the news we received of a tragic death of a young man. Although we know God has a huge plan we don't often see, and some storms He simply allows for a greater purpose, we also thought about how powerful and impacting choices are. We made choices early on in our marriage to follow hard after the heart of God, and to make a determined effort to have our children come to know him and have a desire to serve Him. Those choices however, required follow through. They required a daily conscious decision to know God's Word and live by it as He enabled us by His grace. In other words, a life of blessing didn't just happen.

Exodus 15:26 says "If thou wilt diligently hearken to the voice of the Lord thy God and wilt do that which is right in His sight, and wilt give ear to His commandments, and keep all His statutes, I will put none of these diseases upon thee which I have brought upon the Egyptians: for I am the God that healeth thee."

Have their been difficulties, wilderness times, hurt and heartbreak? Yes, but not because of God's judgment. We have missed out on the heartbreak of living outside His will, and the loss of peace and joy and provision and wisdom and all the other benefits He daily loads us with (Ps 68:19). This is all to the praise of His glory, because He is faithful to His Word. It is His great desire for all His children. The children of Israel were reminded of what the Egyptians had experienced at the hand of God. As one writer explains, "...the same hand that turned water into blood could turn bitter water into sweet. The same power that brought curses on Egypt could bring health to Israel" (Marvin Williams, ODB). In this passage of Scripture the children of Israel went from a place of "no water" (15:22) to "camping [there] by the waters."

"I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live; that thou mayest love the Lord thy God, and that thou mayest obey His voice, and that thou mayest cleave unto Him; for He is thy life, and the length of thy days..." (Deuteronomy 30:19-20).

I'm so grateful to be able to look back and praise God for a life of blessing (and even the hard times were His blessing), and the privilege to camp by the waters!

The Mind of a Teenager

I’ve been thinking a lot about rebellion these days. As Roger and I invest ourselves in the lives of the teen boys that come to the home, some hurt is inevitable. And we do not believe that any are random placements, but rather are directed by God, every child a gift (Ps 127:3). We cannot help but grow to love these boys. And when they make wrong choices, especially choices that impact their futures in ways they are usually not considering at the time, it grieves us. But it also reminds us of the great needs, and we love them even more. Wonderfully, we serve a great God that loves them even more than we do.

As real and serious as rebellion is, I’m not convinced all children that make wrong choices are doing so out of a rebellious heart. Luke 2: 40-52 provided some insight on this. Mary and Joseph had made the annual trek into Jerusalem for the Passover. They were a day’s journey into their return home only to discover that Jesus was not “in the company”. They returned to Jerusalem to find him in the temple.

Jesus was clearly not in rebellion because he failed to be where his parents thought he was. Did they fully understand what Jesus was about? Verse 50 explains they did not. They made assumptions they shouldn’t have made, and had wrong expectations of him, all because they did not understand him.

Well, understanding the mind of a teenager might seem like an impossible feat. It is definitely a challenge, but it’s one that we need to embrace. Learning how they tick is so important. It will be different for each child. It’s especially interesting when they think differently than we do! It might create some clashes from time to time, some tension. It often takes strong and deliberate contemplation before God to “figure that kid out”! But hasty conclusions won’t do. And you’ll never do it apart from simply talking to them either, a lot.

Have they intentionally disobeyed, or was there possibly some misunderstanding? Were expectations clear? Has adequate instruction been provided? What you were trying to teach them, did they get it?? What are they trying to accomplish? What were their motivators or triggers? Young people are usually not thinking beyond the immediate. They’re not weighing all the factors or considering consequences. They're not considering that the process is as important as the end result. They may have an “end justifies the means” philosophy without even realizing it. Are they left feeling that what they think and how they feel is not important?

I Thessalonians 5:14 offers some help in this area, identifying some behaviors in addition to rebellion, and guidance in handling other attitudes and behaviors:

“…warn them that are unruly, comfort the feebleminded, support the weak, be patient toward all men.”

Rather than be in rebellion, could a young person simply be unruly and would respond to a warning? What about careless, weak, unmotivated, indifferent, foolish children? These all require attention…discipline, structure, firm consistency, support, encouragement, but are far from rebellion at this point, and should be dealt with accordingly. For example, to roughly and sternly warn the weak, laying out ultimatums, could crush them in their insecurity. But to offer support and encouragement, taking a befriending approach to the unruly, could end up enabling them and strengthening them in their behaviors, letting them feel they “got away with it”.

I’m not done with this! And I’m grateful the Scripture abounds with truth and principles to explore and apply, because I’m sure there will be no shortage of hurting young people that need Him and the guidance He provides.

Keepers at Home

I began to grow restless about where I was in the area of my service for the Lord. I was very much involved at church…teaching a ladies Bible class, working a bus route bringing children to church on Sunday mornings, together with my husband directing junior church for over a hundred children on the average each Sunday. I was back in school trying to finish my degree (I had put that on hold to homeschool our boys and allow Rog to finish his Masters), and working part-time at the Bible college I was attending. But sitting in my office one day, I felt stifled by the ‘Christian bubble’ I was in. I was not out in the community nearly as much anymore, speaking to others about Christ. Even though I was confident this was the ministry for me at the time, I missed my contact with “the real world” some would call it. I determined to make sure I was using every opportunity regardless of my primary ministry, to speak out and for Christ. I found some amazing outlets were provided.

When the boys were younger and I was completely occupied at home, I would also have times when I felt like there was more I should be doing for the Lord. Even then, I was working in children’s church, working a bus route, and working with another couple with youth group, singing in the choir, working in the nursery…so it wasn’t like I wasn’t involved. But there were times it was a tremendous challenge with four little ones to be so involved. I struggled between feelings of guilt, pressure, and what my true priorities should be. Through prayer and reading the Word, God would impressed on me the importance and priority of my place in my home with my children at that time. I made some changes and never regretted it.

But then, with my children grown and my responsibilities completely different, I was feeling it again. No guilt this time. I learned my lesson about serving out of guilt and pressure. That’s no service at all. It’s just mostly joyless duty and activity that drains and creates stress. This was more a restlessness and a desire to once again move outside the bubble.

Along with some other stresses and circumstances that were causing me to rethink the place of ministry God had me in at the time, the thought of a making another change wouldn’t leave me. Once again, through prayer and time in God’s Word…nearly a year this time of intense seeking the Lord…doors began to open. Rog came in one afternoon with a complimentary booklet he had received at the church, and I began to read it. About half-way through the booklet, the following statement sailed off the page:

“Your home is the single most powerful arena on earth to change a life for God’.
Bruce Wilkenson, The Prayer of Jabez.

Well, I believed that with all my heart. Rog and I had given ourselves long ago to the very goal of making our home a place where lives were impacted for Christ…the lives of our children first and foremost, then any others God would direct to us. We wanted our home to be a haven, a place of growth and nourishment, a place to think and learn, a place of love, acceptance, and the chance to love in return. We wanted it to be obvious, even when there were challenges and emotions and mistakes and failures, that God was in charge here.

We still believe this. Only now the Lord has “enlarged our tent” to another “home”, one especially for children that we have now been house parents in for nearly two years.

Lesson?? Don’t underestimate the reach of your home…God has graciously allowed us in recent years to see its impact literally around the globe. Once again, no regrets.

“Every wise woman buildeth her house…” Prov 14:1; “Except the Lord build the house, they labor in vain that build it” Ps 127: 1. This is not a contradiction. Let the Lord build his house through you.

Love your husbands and children

"...teach the young women to love their husbands, to love their children..."

I listened as Roger preached from Titus 2, a familiar passage. But my thoughts became hung on the verse above, amazed once again that God would see the need for women to be instructed to love their husbands and children. Doesn't that just come naturally, especially to believers?

Sadly, no. To truly love as God would have us to means to love unselfishly. And sometimes it's difficult to see and admit that loving selfishly is exactly what we're doing. If true love is always doing what is best for the object of that love, it often takes a determined effort to remove self from the picture.

Loving your husband and children should be the most wonderful and fulfilling experience you'll have as a woman. But this can't be the reason you extend yourself and express your love for them. Loving your husband and children cannot be about how it makes you feel or about what you want. Wives and mothers cannot do what they do because of how fulfilling it is. It can't be about being needed or appreciated. If you are to truly love the way God would have you to it must be unconditional.

Unconditional love is unselfish. And loving unconditionally will constrain you to continue loving even when it's hard and it hurts. Selfish love quits, abandons, won't forgive, controls, pouts, and manipulates. It doesn't stop until it has its way.

Of course, this goes against most of today's prevalent philosophies; just consider the pro-choice movement as one example, and the 50/50 marriage mentality for another. And because it is so prevalent in society today, and because it's a part of our very nature to be selfish, God's way of loving must still be taught.