About Falling and Flying

It’s funny how falling flat on your face can be just the thing you need to get you back on your feet, standing strong, and humbled.  The expression, “that knocked me off my feet!”, well, I experienced it this week, literally. 

Tilly, our Australian Shepherd pup, was on her runner attached to ‘her’ tree.  It’s her favorite spot in the yard.  I was leaving, headed back to the ranch for the week and had my hands full…computer, tote bag, purse…making my way to the  Jeep.  I walked past her on the asphalt, not thinking…though I knew…that she could reach that far.  Before I knew it she was wrapped around my feet, had me lassoed.  Then with a quick yank, down I went.  She had pulled my feet right out from under me!  With nothing to break my fall, it was hello asphalt!

I feel that way often, like I’ve had my feet yanked out from under me.  It’s the unexpected news, the unexpected situation that arises, the unexpected expectation or responsibility that lands in my lap; the unexpected moment that demands a split second decision.  For a while I’m flying high feeling like I’ve got the bull by the horns so to speak, got it all under control, after all, I’m Wonder Woman!  And then wham! I’m falling flat on my face. 

But it’s not a bad place to b, when God is there to catch me and pick me back up when I cry out to Him.  I found myself this week “falling”.  I was no longer in control, I couldn’t change the situation.  I couldn’t change the behaviors and attitudes of the ones I was dealing with. Nothing I said seemed to be making a difference.  The boys (here in our children’s home) were angry, provoking each other, and it was just exploding, affecting everyone.  All of a sudden, I didn’t want to be there.  I didn’t want to continue to try to minister to these boys.  I didn’t want to try to instruct, teach, parent, counsel, help them work through it, help them see a better way.  In the midst of the morning verbal brawl, one young was trying to take care of the dishwasher and I snapped.  He caught my fury!  “What are you doing?  That doesn’t go there!  Now look at this mess!” And I burst into tears!!  I left them all silent and dumbfounded, him at the dishwasher, the others at the dining room table.  I was crying and upset because the dishwasher wasn’t loaded right??

Oh well, one day maybe they’ll get it.  Usually what a woman is crying about is not what she’s really crying about, and this was one of those times.  But I went to the bedroom, fell across the bed, and wept, asking God first of all to forgive me for not wanting to be where He wanted me to be.  For letting it all get to me.  For not remembering that it’s not me and anything that I can say or do to change hearts anyway!  I cannot control every situation. Sometimes, especially in the environment we’re in, things are gonna get a little crazy! 

No, I’m not always in control, but God is.  It’s humbling to step back and remove myself emotionally from the situation sometimes, but it’s necessary.  Maybe a day doesn’t hold what I thought it would after a phone call changes the plans I had!  But that’s ok because I’m not in control, God is.  So I can do this. 

Not because I’m “Wonder Woman”, but because He is Wonderful. 

 

“Help me rest in Your embrace today and keep me humble in my spirit, that I may be gentler, meeker, quietly stronger. More like You.”  (Gwen Ford Faulkenberry, Jesus Be Near Me)

 

Humble in my spirit…yep, even if that means using a puppy to cause me to fall flat on my face!  Even if it means allowing dishwasher duty to bring me to tears! Thank you Lord for wiping away my tears and catching me when I fall.

 

“The Eternal God is thy refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms” Deuteronomy 33:27