About Falling and Flying

It’s funny how falling flat on your face can be just the thing you need to get you back on your feet, standing strong, and humbled.  The expression, “that knocked me off my feet!”, well, I experienced it this week, literally. 

Tilly, our Australian Shepherd pup, was on her runner attached to ‘her’ tree.  It’s her favorite spot in the yard.  I was leaving, headed back to the ranch for the week and had my hands full…computer, tote bag, purse…making my way to the  Jeep.  I walked past her on the asphalt, not thinking…though I knew…that she could reach that far.  Before I knew it she was wrapped around my feet, had me lassoed.  Then with a quick yank, down I went.  She had pulled my feet right out from under me!  With nothing to break my fall, it was hello asphalt!

I feel that way often, like I’ve had my feet yanked out from under me.  It’s the unexpected news, the unexpected situation that arises, the unexpected expectation or responsibility that lands in my lap; the unexpected moment that demands a split second decision.  For a while I’m flying high feeling like I’ve got the bull by the horns so to speak, got it all under control, after all, I’m Wonder Woman!  And then wham! I’m falling flat on my face. 

But it’s not a bad place to b, when God is there to catch me and pick me back up when I cry out to Him.  I found myself this week “falling”.  I was no longer in control, I couldn’t change the situation.  I couldn’t change the behaviors and attitudes of the ones I was dealing with. Nothing I said seemed to be making a difference.  The boys (here in our children’s home) were angry, provoking each other, and it was just exploding, affecting everyone.  All of a sudden, I didn’t want to be there.  I didn’t want to continue to try to minister to these boys.  I didn’t want to try to instruct, teach, parent, counsel, help them work through it, help them see a better way.  In the midst of the morning verbal brawl, one young was trying to take care of the dishwasher and I snapped.  He caught my fury!  “What are you doing?  That doesn’t go there!  Now look at this mess!” And I burst into tears!!  I left them all silent and dumbfounded, him at the dishwasher, the others at the dining room table.  I was crying and upset because the dishwasher wasn’t loaded right??

Oh well, one day maybe they’ll get it.  Usually what a woman is crying about is not what she’s really crying about, and this was one of those times.  But I went to the bedroom, fell across the bed, and wept, asking God first of all to forgive me for not wanting to be where He wanted me to be.  For letting it all get to me.  For not remembering that it’s not me and anything that I can say or do to change hearts anyway!  I cannot control every situation. Sometimes, especially in the environment we’re in, things are gonna get a little crazy! 

No, I’m not always in control, but God is.  It’s humbling to step back and remove myself emotionally from the situation sometimes, but it’s necessary.  Maybe a day doesn’t hold what I thought it would after a phone call changes the plans I had!  But that’s ok because I’m not in control, God is.  So I can do this. 

Not because I’m “Wonder Woman”, but because He is Wonderful. 

 

“Help me rest in Your embrace today and keep me humble in my spirit, that I may be gentler, meeker, quietly stronger. More like You.”  (Gwen Ford Faulkenberry, Jesus Be Near Me)

 

Humble in my spirit…yep, even if that means using a puppy to cause me to fall flat on my face!  Even if it means allowing dishwasher duty to bring me to tears! Thank you Lord for wiping away my tears and catching me when I fall.

 

“The Eternal God is thy refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms” Deuteronomy 33:27

My crazy wonderful life!

I shot a text back to a friend with these words, then stopped to read what I wrote.  It made me smile to think about all it means to have and live my crazy wonderful life.  From allergies to alpacas…yes, alpacas…this has definitely been one crazy summer.   

Jordan just had her wisdom teeth out and ended up with dry sockets; this meant trips to the oral surgeon’s office 3 times a week.  One of the technicians, someone I knew from years ago but hadn’t seen in a long while, was surprised and asked, “when did you get a girl??!”  She and her husband knew us when our kids were all growing up together and knew we had all boys.  My first thought was, “my crazy wonderful life, do we really have time for me to tell you how we ended up with a girl!!” I just shared that Jordan became a part of the family nearly two years ago and left it at that.  Jordan had to get back to school! 

The Horse Barn

How quickly life happens.  I’m usually better off not having any warning when my life is about to take a major turn.  But I have found that God has His ways of preparing me even when I don’t quite know what He is preparing me for.  It was like that this summer with the purchase and move to our farm. 

Our search for different housing started several years ago.  Our needs had definitely changed as all the boys married, moved all over the country, and started having our grandchildren.  Then, Dan and Steph moved back from Utah with their three children and Steph was expecting.  I had begun to have problems with my hips and legs that doctors were having a difficult time diagnosing.  All I knew was that it was getting more and more painful to go up and down stairs and we were told to expect it o only get worse as I got older.  Next, Jordan entered the picture.  Our four bedroom two bath home was no longer adequate. 

While in Utah, Dan and Steph had become very interested in raising alpacas.  After educating  me about this creature and considering the possibilities, that became a part of the search criteria, the possibility of land, barns, etc…those things that would make it possible if that door opened, and we prayed. 

Boy did it open!  And rather suddenly.  In April, we found an incredible place that we knew held possibilities that we were yet to consider.  But after going to three banks, Rog was told the same thing each time; because the property had more than five acres and had two houses on it, it did not qualify for a traditional home mortgage…he would have to do a farm loan which would require 20% down.  That was not an option for us.  But the last bank suggested the Farm Bureau.  Excited, he found the 25 acre property qualified, but he didn’t.  It required that he have at least three years’ experience actually  operating a farm.  Bummer.   

He called our realtor and gave him the news and we tried not to be too disappointed.  We had been looking for several years!  Nothing had been right, until now.  We had a hard time believing this was not the place the Lord had for us.  But we were content to trust Him knowing He might have something else altogether in mind. 

The next day our realtor called back.  He ran into a friend of his at yet another bank that mentioned a promotional program they were doing right now and asked us to talk with them.  Roger was hesitant at first after being told the same thing by three banks already.  But he decided it couldn’t hurt.  Not only did he qualify, the property qualified, but they would finance it 100%!  No money down!  We were floored.  From that point on it was like a snowball rolling downhill as we literally sat back and watched doors open and more than one person involved (banker, financial advisor, realtor, etc…) tell us this must be a “God thing”.  Indeed it was, and we were so grateful and humbled.  We just wanted to be able to see God do whatever He had planned with it all. 

Now, back to the alpacas.  Shortly after the closing I walked into a staff meeting at work and they were talking about us having purchased a farm.  One of the ladies asked, “Angela, what in the world are you all going to do with a farm?”  Another lady exclaimed, “They’re gonna raise llamas!”  Well, not quite.  So I explained that we were interested in possibly raising alpacas, as well as boarding some horses.  The next day, a dear lady called the ranch and told Karen, our office manager, that she had eight alpacas she was trying to find a home for.  After praying and looking for three weeks, she thought of the children’s home her church financially supported.  Karen explained that the ranch was not in a position to take them, but that one of the ranch staff couples just bought a farm and planned to raise none other than…alpacas!  Karen gave her our number, she called, we talked, I called Rog, we prayed…she prayed, and the next thing we know we have 8 alpacas.  Interestingly enough, we had closed, but weren’t planning to be able to move right away.  The folks we bought from were being delayed getting into the place they purchased, but when I called them, they were more than gracious about us getting those alpacas settled on the property!  So, they moved before we did! 

Well, we’re a month into the move and still trying to get everything out of the old place.  We found the farm in April, signed the contract in May, closed in July, moved in August and will hopefully have our  place ready to list by the end of September. 

The daily duties and other summer activities were not set aside in all the changes…Vacation Bible School, our 40^th anniversary celebration at church, school shopping for our 10 ranch guys and Jordan, visits from family and friends, a ranch trip to Carowinds, all the doctor’s visits for myself and Jordan to have her ready for her senior year and trip to the Dominican Republic; you know how it is, life just keeps moving along! 

We’re soon expecting our 15 grandchild, due to arrive in October to Josh and Christina.  We’ll be heading down to Atlanta when we get the call that our grandson Ephraim’s kidney transplant has been scheduled.  And I’m sure there will be other surprises, things that life will bring our way and that I’m sure are no surprise to God! 

After all, this crazy wonderful life of mine??  God’s got it all under control.  I just have to stay close to Him.